Dom Violence Completely Different Personality After Ptsd. Anyone Else?

[I_Am_Titanium]

Has anyone else become more outspoken and an outwardly stronger person after PTSD? Before my ptsd I......

Same here. After being co-dependent my entire life and "waking up" from the abuse, I feel like a completely different person now. Before I was always quiet, depressed, just surviving each day. Now I live in the moments. I speak up and say what's on my mind trying to not be rude or mean.

I don't put up with BS from my ex anymore. He still tries to gaslight me and rewrite history and says I made it all up. I know I didn't. I know I'm not crazy. For years I thought I was crazy until I finally realized (thanks to therapists) he's a covert narcissist who emotionally abused me for years and he keeps trying to convince me I'm the narcissistic abuser but I know better now.

I've gone "no contact" with him except when it concerns the kids. Even then he tries to turn just about everything into an argument but I don't engage anymore. I just let it go which seems to drive him crazy because he keeps escalating. I keep ignoring. It feels liberating. The old me would try to defend myself but now I know it's not worth it and I don't have to explain myself to him anymore.

I think it's sad that he seems so lonely, bitter, and angry that he has to pick a fight with me every chance he gets and seems to want me to be lonely, bitter, and angry as well. I'm happy and in a very healthy loving relationship now. I think it bothers him a lot. He's said many times that he wants to tell my boyfriend that I'm a horrible person and that he should leave me. Little does he know, nothing he could say to him would make a difference. My boyfriend has seen the darkest corners of my mind and is still here. He's been there for me in many ways where my ex never had been there for me.


Also, others have told me they can see a big difference in me now. I'm way more outgoing and outspoken. I hold my head up instead of always looking down. That I seem much more "alive" now than ever before. It's wonderful to hear that from people who have known me many years.

 

[h2o]

What a great thread - thank you! Yes, I would say I'm totally different now - in a much better way. It took a lot of work and was an intensive effort for a good few years. My recovery was a combination of spirituality, eating clean raw and natural foods where possible (my system was so hypersensitive to caffeine, sugar etc.), intensive therapy, hypnotherapy, learning everything I could about PTSD, and exercise.

I went through a tough couple of years in recovery, but my life today is a total 180. I feel like I went from the walking dead, to being reborn (I know that sounds cheesy but I want to let others know there is life after domestic violence). I was the lost little girl, who clung onto the impossible dream, that one day the man I had fallen in love with would return. The brainwashing I had undergone when I was with my ex, made me feel bad everytime I described certain situations to others, because I had been conditioned to believe it was my fault. I think it took me at least two years to be comfortable talking about things without feeling like I was somehow to blame. It took years of misery, fear and violence to finally get it through to me, but once I came out the other side it was worth it.

Today I am incredibly strong and have overcome many obstacles in my way. I think somehow PTSD makes us stronger. I was very sensitive beforehand, but wheras my ex tried to break me down to nothing, the eventual outcome was that he had the opposite affect. I didn't want to be a single mother, and of course he doesn't support his children financially, but even though it is tough, my life is so much better now. Anyone who is reading this who may be struggling with domestic violence, please believe it will get better. Just always remember you cannot change anyone else, only yourself. Once I realised that I could never change this man and saw him for what he was, I was able to start healing.

 

[bento]

Wow! Everyone's stories here are inspiring. I'd say I'm in the process, but not there yet.
I feel like my core personality-fairly extroverted/artistic got split off into the servile people
pleaser my family and later my ASP husband and family wanted. Really lost myself and
have felt completely broken and needy for a looooong time. Now finally gluing the pieces
back together and the realization that moving from merely surviving to thriving is
practically a full time job is really starting to hit me. Thanks again everybody for sharing your
stories of strength. They are really great to hear.