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I also felt that way when I started therapy, it is normal and will get better with time. Just hang in there,

Now that I am thinking about it, I am just confused and when it comes to relationships I don't know right from wrong. I don't know much about boundaries. I love her and relate to her in a way that I wish I could relate to my mom. Maybe that is the problem, she treats me like her daughter and I...

I hear you Cherryblossom and digger1, I too sometimes worry about the way I am dependent and attached to her. She is also aware of this and we previously discussed it, and the plan was to get me to volunteer at some home for abused children so I can meet other people and learn to build...

She always replies to my emails, whether it is a weekend or at night. There were times I would chat with her via email until 10pm. I am not sure if her son is now well or not. She said she will be available on email whilst taking care of her son. Maybe I am overreacting but how can she disappear...

@digger1, I can't seem to get hold of her anywhere. She is not even replying to my emails. @Miss cptsd xx, I don't think I will be able to trust anyone else, she understood me and I think we got along very well. I just don't understand where she's disappeared to.

Maybe I should also address my PTSD. Maybe it will listen to me then. It is so unfair and selfish that it always wants to be in control. I like the letter

So right now I hate her and want her out of my life. I don't ever wanna see her again or any other therapist ever again. I just want them all out of my life :bawling:

Thank you, it makes me feel so much better to know I am not the only one through this

Sometimes I find myself wondering if other people with my history face the same challenges I face everyday. I need to be wanted and at the same time I push people away. I desire to be loved but once I realize someone loves me I cut them out of my life. It really doesn't make sense. I don't want...

I will email my therapist now and hopefully see her tomorrow or early next week. Really had my mind setup on not depending on her. But I really need all the support I can get right now. Thank you all for your support, one moment I am ok the next everything just falls apart.

I haven't seen my therapist all week and was planning to not see her next week. I so want to beat this on my own but it is so hard right now. It doesn't help that I am staying alone and have no friends that know anything about me. I feel like I have no one. He is moving on with his life with...

So I am breaking down right now. I thought I was strong and really wanted to be strong. I thought nothing about the weekend was gonna break me but it is breaking me right now :cry:. I thought seeing my abuser over the weekend would not break me but I am falling apart right now. I kept strong...

I am not sure if this is the right forum to discuss this but I really need to understand what is going on in my head. Being sexually abused in my childhood I grew up to hate males. There was no such thing as a good male in my head. So in my teen years I started dating girls and really enjoyed...

Maybe it is my always wanting to be in control issues

Thank you Ayesha, I know there's nothing wrong in seeing a therapist. I just sometimes worry about my transference and often can't imagine my life without her. So I just now feel a little proud that I went through a week without seeing her, even though I emailed her twice this week. I do miss...

We'll Ice-fire, you have a point there but that point really hurts. I try so hard to remind myself she is my therapist and that is all but I want her to be so much more :(

I am glad you had a good session, sometimes a good session is really all that we need to through the week feeling great. Bug ups for you and your T :tup:

This is the first week I have went through without seeing my therapist, I was worried thinking I will fall apart but I am still ok. It wasn't Ana easy week, I fought with my partner for no reason. I have done really stupid things but it is ok. Things will get better. Now I am thinking I could...

We'll I have had a session of EMDR and it didn't go well. I freaked out and was so angry. Few sessions after that I did hypnosis, which I have good and bad feelings towards it. After the session I felt ok and didn't remember much and a few days later I started remembering also remembered things...

I can relate to this, I wanted so bad to shoot my abuser and that desire was getting stronger to an extend where I got myself a gun. That's when I knew I was loosing control and eventually discussed it with my therapist. And for many sessions we exercises where she made me imagine shooting him...

Maybe you can try hypnotherapy, talking from experience it had me remembering things which I had completely forgotten. Maybe discuss this option with your therapist.

In the few months that I have been seeing my therapist she has never cancelled my appointment. She sent me an email last night to cancel today's appointment due to her ill son who will be hospitalized tomorrow. The first glance at the email and I felt like she doesn't want to see me. My reply to...

Digger1, I think if your intension was to get me to stay in therapy you might have succeeded. I will do one more session next week and see how it goes :)

I just feel tired of therapy not to mention that it's costly. I think I just want to be on my own and see if I can't fight through this on my own.

Thank you all, I had a great session with my t on Monday. However I think it was my last. I think she might be getting tired of me and my issues.