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Hi Mella and Jessica! Would be great to catch you online at the same time! :)

Hi All, I could really use some advice. I've been with my Therapist (T) for about 3 months. Before him, I was with his collegue who decided to retire in 6 months, so I was referred. My therapy sessions are very stressful. He seems not be be a good "leader" in the sense that he wants me to...

Hi Jessica, I'm so sorry that it took nearly a month to get back to you. I havent been on much, and I see that I have a ton of alerts. I need to get back on the forum bandwagon! My name is Tanya and it's really nice to meet you. Lets talk sometime! :)

Yes, MDD, stands for Major Depressive Disorder. I have the "moderate" version.

Rumors, thank you. I hope to get some peace, someday.

Thanks, Philippa. Her mother was a cruel parent as well. I lived with her mother after age 16 and she was a tyrant.

I was going through my college computer hard drive, and I found this letter on it. I've never showed this to anyone (not even my husband) because I feel deep, painful, unexplainable shame. This could be triggering for some of you, so please be warned. I'm sorry in advance. Sept. 21, 1997 I...

Do you think that symptoms and memories like this define you? Am I destined to be haunted like this forever? I downplay what happened to me because I just have to imagine that compared to other people, what happened to me wasn't that bad. I feel like my body and mind are over reacting and I...

I find this to be confusing and hard to reconcile in my head. Very sad, indeed.

This may seem wrong to say, but I have a very hard time admitting that what happened to me was "abuse". I don't want to be a victim, I don't want my past to be an excuse for how I live in the present. I don't want to admit that I'm not strong enough to beat this!

I don't get it either. Children are so defenseless and I personally could give a rats behind, what the child did... It doesn't matter. Hitting them leaves scars long after the pain of the whack goes away.

Is that a type of flashback? I've always wondered that.

When I see parents hit their children. I see red, literally and my mommy rage comes out and without thinking, I start yelling, threatening to call the police. It makes me sick and so very, very sad!

I appreciate all the opinions, replies and concern. I think I know myself pretty well. I can be impulsive but it's mostly for good. I really sort of enjoy the thrill of adrenaline. Just last month I bought a chainsaw to cut down dead trees in my back yard. I'd never used one before, but I...

I have 3 children, ages 8, 7 and 5. Over my DEAD body would I EVER spank them! I don't do it because its not an effective means of discipline. My children are sweet, kind, compassionate towards others, and just overall, really wonderful human beings. I don't hit them, in part because I was...

Abstract, it makes me concerned as well. But it's not exactly something you can come out with to someone. I'm not the type to have a plan. I feel impulsive and I go for it. I ask no questions, I tell no one anything and I go for it. Does that make sense?

Everyone, I'm ok. Thank you for your concern. Yes, I shoot for sport at a range. I also have my CHP permit, so I can conceal carry in my state legally. I am not suicidal, although there are times when ideation gets the best of me. For that reason, having the gun is probably not a good idea...

Monster, that's a really good question, and the fact that I can't definitively say no, means maybe.

Bilby, Thanks.

Britt, I don't think anything of it. And thanks for weighing in, always nice to hear from a friendly face, er, name, er, avatar! ;)

Physical abuse or sexual abuse because of the undressing part? I have to add as well that this wasn't just typical spanking, she beat the hell out of me with a belt until she exhausted herself. I have nightmares where I wake up feeling like my body is on fire with pain. Totally psychosomatic...

He believes it was abuse. What do your think?

My therapist and I disagree. When I was a kid and teenager, my mentally ill mother (she's borderline), demanded I take off my clothes to be spanked. She was a harsh parent, often cruel in fact. But is repeatedly spanking a naked 15 year old girl child abuse or worse, sexual abuse? What do...

I bought a gun on Sunday. I have an M&P 9mm full size. Very nice gun for when you need to vent frustration, rage or anxiety.

Yes, I know. Brain to mouth in session equals uncomfortable road block. :(