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This is the first week in a long time that I'm counting down until I can see my therapist. I feel like my problems or frustrations this week just aren't allowed to fit into the thoughts or lives of those around me, and that's tough.

I sleep better with my partner (boyfriend) in bed with me, but sex can be touchy sometimes. It's tough balancing my desires & delicate tolerance for rejection with his desires and with my moments where my brain can't differentiate him from my rapist. Sometimes I need the light on so I can see...

I don't know why I ever expect more from my family. There's no space for anything to be about me. And no one will ever apologize or convey any sense of wrongdoing in my childhood. I'm simply not up to par in their twisted, self-centered rules.

This week has been one challenge after another. My car needs a new engine. I don't have tons of money set aside for it. I was rear-ended while in a rental car while my car is in the shop. The good news is that the rental car was paid for by the dealership. But I still had to spend another $75 on...

Where you are right now emotionally, the easy startling hits so close to home for me. I went through that in college for years. It eased over time. I still have moments of hypervigilence, but they're spreading out. And my 2nd therapist seems as well to be a much better fit. Glad you found the forum.

Had a binging marathon of Mad Men. Figured out as my mood went down and down and down that it's a show I should only watch in moderation. It gets to me. The male dominating culture. The multiple rapes or advantage-taken situations that happen, the general tone of the show. My boyfriend hates...

We're getting better at communicating, but I don't think he can ever fathom how much his reactions to frustration or annoyance kill me. He just goes silent. Doesn't want to look at me, touch me, be near me. I guess I have a track record of feeling abandoned, unimportant, unnoticed.

I guess I made it longer this time around. Back to tired. Back to empty. Back to feeling lonely when with my boyfriend. I feel like I can't do anything g right with him lately, even though I'm desperately trying.

I'm sorry for your experience & her reaction. I don't expect it's a conversation that will go well. I'm just tired of it being a secret.

@RussH thanks. I didn't tell anyone for over a year. It took a while to come to grips with what had happened. By the time I reported it, I had just moved out of an abusive home life. My parents weren't taking the loss of control well, and I knew admitting I was a victim to them would fuel their...

My parents don't know I was raped. My siblings & close friends do. Few know about the PTSD. Lately, I want to shout from the rooftops about it. I want to scream it all over every venue & be done. To have everyone know & not hide it anymore. I know that 'a not a responsible action. I know...

I realized yesterday that I have no gauge for guilt. I'm either fine or I'm a wreck. A car accident, leaving the oven on, or forgetting to change the laundry. It's all the same level of guilt. Anyone else struggle with this?

I'm exhausted. I'm hoping it will get better. After a huge, extended brewing disagreement with my boyfriend came to a head, I spent all of yesterday so stressed I could barely function. Today..... I feel better. Things were talked about & resolved. But I'm sad that now I have a second day of...

Good news is we talked through some things when he was finally ready last night. Today I feel much better, but I'm not sure he understands how exhausted stress like yesterday leaves me. Luckily, tomorrow it's therapy day.

Thanks :-)

Got home... And he's... Just going about his day. So now I'm even more confused, disappointed, and I worry that I went through all of today as a wreck, and he's just oblivious to being angry, cold, hurtful? Gah. Gym time. Try to make something healthy out of this.

I am... Well, right now I'm tired, excited to finish work but sad I won't be able to just crash like I want to probably. I'm wondering if it's a mistake. Hoping it's just a rough adjustment. I just want to feel loved & supported. Not annoying & cold-shouldered.

I can feel like I'm doing well. But when my relationship hits a bump (like moving in together in my little apartment for a month then moving to a new, more expensive place). He's terrible at communicating when he's upset, takes forever to process. In the meantime, I'm gutted and every...

Self-centered. I love my mom very much, but our relationship isn't all warm and fuzzy. She has a terrible temper that she never controlled. We lived with double standards as a way of life. She'd scream and curse and be vulgar in public because she loves the attention shock affords her, but she...

Just today I decided to take a hiatus from drinking. I'm hoping I can get to a point where an occasional drink is okay, but I know I need to walk away and aim to be healthier & put some distance between me and my current habit.

Hang in there. I hope you can get some rest tonight and start fresh tomorrow.

I've never been a big "gamer." My brother and many friends were much more committed or interested in them. So part of my problem at this point with my boyfriend is that I'm competitive and he's very good at them after a lifetime with lots of video games. But I'm noticing now, as an adult, what a...

It's hot out. My dog is panting from the heat... I'm running my AC to help cool it down. I'm having wine. I don't know what will happen. My boyfriend moves in at the end of June. The sane part of me is so excited. The rest of me is so scared that I won't have the space for these crashes...

I do the same. I wish I had advice... I have various levels of lighting in my room to avoid being in the dark on difficult nights, to try and not stay up until dawn (because I will). Luckily, I work afternoons now which helps me if I need to just sleep late after being up too late. I keep a body...

Ha! A month, nearly exactly. And I'm back to the same sort of moment... I guess the good news is that like someone commented on here a while back, the periods between crashes seems to keep growing.