Reveal

[Viosinger]

My parents don't know I was raped. My siblings & close friends do. Few know about the PTSD.

Lately, I want to shout from the rooftops about it. I want to scream it all over every venue & be done. To have everyone know & not hide it anymore.

I know that 'a not a responsible action. I know it's a terrible idea. But it's so tempting.

 

[RussH]

@Viosinger, is there a reason you have not told your parents about the rape and PTSD? I would hope, given the dynamics of your family, that they would be a great source of support for you.
Are you in therapy? This would also give you a venue to vent.
Another thing you could do would be start a trauma diary here on the forum, and write as much, or as little as you want regarding the rape and resulting PTSD.
I Hope you are otherwise doing well.

 

[Pixi23]

Write letters and never send them. Keep posting on here ?

 

[Viosinger]

@RussH thanks. I didn't tell anyone for over a year. It took a while to come to grips with what had happened. By the time I reported it, I had just moved out of an abusive home life. My parents weren't taking the loss of control well, and I knew admitting I was a victim to them would fuel their drive to get me to move home. So I waited. 10 years later, there's never been a good time. I'm in therapy, and have made some good progress. I feel like I want to tell them finally, but they're 1500 miles away and my father's been very ill. We still don't have a great relationship, but I'd like to think they can someday know what I fought alone for so many years.

I do have a trauma diary but haven't been on in a while. I guess it's time to get back to writing more consistently. Thanks.

@Pixi23 thanks. Like I said above, I haven't been on in a while. I guess... Yeah. I'll just lean on the site more again.

 

[RussH]

@Viosinger, just remember, you are among friends here.
I would wait on telling your parents until your dad's health improves, assuming he does get better.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@Viosinger I broke the silence about my CSA to my mother many years after it happened (the perpetrator was my grandfather) my home life was also violent. Her reaction to my telling her was "Oh, yes I know he was a pedophile." That was it not another word. I dont even know what prompted me to tell her, it just came out. Her disregard for me is as strong now as way back then. I just avoid her. She likes to just say I'm crazy. I'm the sanest member of my family. Her reaction didn't surprise me, but I am glad she knows because she didn't protect me from a known pedophile and my trauma belongs squarely between her eyes.

 

[Viosinger]

I'm sorry for your experience & her reaction. I don't expect it's a conversation that will go well. I'm just tired of it being a secret.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Yeah, I think I got to that point. Well, you've got my support whatever you decide to do.