TW: child SA
messed up may not be the word, disgusting is.
im 19M. ive been sexting men on different corners of the internet for a while now, since I was 16 probably. i dont know why I do it. im not very good looking and I guess having someone like me made me happy.
a few days ago I was sexting some 30 year old on Telegram. out of the blue he started asking me if I'm into incest. half of gay porn on the internet is incest-based so I was like 'yeah okay sure'.
then he tells me that he had done it with his 12 year old cousin.
i dont know what I was thinking. I asked him if he had a picture. HE DID NOT SEND ANYTHING, THANK GOD. I asked him if the cousin 'enjoyed it' because in my messed up mind it would mean its not r*pe.
I pushed it aside and I continued chatting with him. I asked him if he wanted to meet to find out his location. He didn't send it.
The minute we finished I closed the app, I deleted my account and deleted the app. I tried reporting him so many times to the authorities but they told me they can't take action because 1. I don't know anything about him and 2. I forgot his username (it was just a letter followed by random numbers) (im from an underdeveloped country). I've tried to track him down from the group I first met him in (which was an ADULT group) but the administrators straight up laughed at me. One of them told me that I need to give them sexual favours for them to help me.
I've been shivering and crying every night for 10 days. I don't know what to do. I should have reported him immediately. I should have done something. Instead I gave in to something so f*cking dark. I feel dirty I feel like I will never be clean again. I'm 19 I should have f*cking known better. This has never happened to me before.
scream at me. berate me. please. im disgusting.
messed up may not be the word, disgusting is.
im 19M. ive been sexting men on different corners of the internet for a while now, since I was 16 probably. i dont know why I do it. im not very good looking and I guess having someone like me made me happy.
a few days ago I was sexting some 30 year old on Telegram. out of the blue he started asking me if I'm into incest. half of gay porn on the internet is incest-based so I was like 'yeah okay sure'.
then he tells me that he had done it with his 12 year old cousin.
i dont know what I was thinking. I asked him if he had a picture. HE DID NOT SEND ANYTHING, THANK GOD. I asked him if the cousin 'enjoyed it' because in my messed up mind it would mean its not r*pe.
I pushed it aside and I continued chatting with him. I asked him if he wanted to meet to find out his location. He didn't send it.
The minute we finished I closed the app, I deleted my account and deleted the app. I tried reporting him so many times to the authorities but they told me they can't take action because 1. I don't know anything about him and 2. I forgot his username (it was just a letter followed by random numbers) (im from an underdeveloped country). I've tried to track him down from the group I first met him in (which was an ADULT group) but the administrators straight up laughed at me. One of them told me that I need to give them sexual favours for them to help me.
I've been shivering and crying every night for 10 days. I don't know what to do. I should have reported him immediately. I should have done something. Instead I gave in to something so f*cking dark. I feel dirty I feel like I will never be clean again. I'm 19 I should have f*cking known better. This has never happened to me before.
scream at me. berate me. please. im disgusting.
