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Right with you. I posted a thread awhile back called, "Paying bills is so scary!" and we are totally not alone in fear of the post office, mail and deliveries, voicemail (terrifying), emails and whomever else wants to reach out and punish me. This is when you have to sit back and on a very...
My husband and I both have PTSD. I am a little ahead of him in my recognition and healing. He has a history of driving himself really hard, to ensure he is never criticized, not a weak link, he's the guy doing the most the fastest the best. (In other words he was trying to insulate himself...
Thanks everyone. The week progressed, it's Friday. I don't know if I regressed; maybe it was a "good" trigger because I have learned how to overcome the worst parts more quickly? 2 days lost, not 2 weeks....?
Yes I do have some good memories and I want to respect them by keeping them in a safe and happy place inside, but that is also elusive. The good memories are balanced by the bad ones, and by the memories I have lost due to PTSD blackouts of horrible events that can pop up again any time...
I got triggered Sunday. The reason is immaterial because it's the zillionth time I played out this dysfunctional scene with my husband. As usual I fled, drove for hours, crying....feeling again like I belong nowhere, won't ever land in a secure place, and can only endure life until God says I...
Ummm did I write this or did you? I'm in this boat too. It's very leaky!
I subvert PTSD anxiety and channel it as a reasoned, surgical argument why someone else is MESSED UP about whatever topic is at hand. I don't do this as much as I used to, my husband can actually spot me and stop me...
Soooo familiar for me too! Doesn't it SUCK? I hate those days and am having one right now, a "lite" version of your meltdown. Mine's a really sick feeling inside for no good reason. FIRST: you are not responsible for these events. At all. Not even a little bit. SECOND: humor, can you...
I am grateful that my scary phone call at 11:30 will be over soon; my work requires that I defend my research and I'm always trigger-y prior to the call.
I am grateful that my daughter heard me yesterday during a difficult conversation and that we remain close and loving.
I am grateful my...
There is another really sad possibility: you/we are not at all equipped to evaluate the accuracy of others' criticisms. Here is a test: if a hairy eyeball from anyone from anywhere pretty much always ends up with the, "I'm a piece of garbage" conclusion you/we are framing normal criticisms...
My turning point came when I recognized that my brain is sick. My brain fires anxiety chemicals virtually 24/7/365. Sometimes it is expressedtac in nightmares; sometimes in getting triggered; always I feel sick to my stomach with a pit of fear. But that's not who I am!! That is what my brain...
Oooh hold on! So sorry you are going through this, again!!! Sickening disease, PTSD. So what can you do now to keep calm? Take a walk and get some exercise. If you work out get cardio going and re-oxygenate your bloodstream. Watch something silly on TV that makes you laugh. Take a bath...
Recovered memories are a big pain, they always stink, and you never know where or when they come. Ugh. I had one where I ended up bawling in the grocery store parking lot. Talk about insanity!! Here is my take: memories come out because they need to come out. Let it flow. Grieve, be sad...
You are all awesome. Don't get me wrong, there is still a ton of internal freakout about many many work situations, but I can't indulge it anymore because I learn NOTHING from those terrifying signals. Seriously the dog is a big part of it. Unconditional love, attention, a way to get me out...
It is with pleasure that I share two healing threads in my life:
1) I adopted a rescue dog. It has been 3 years since I had a dog, and her sweet presence is a constant source of support and joy. RECOMMEND.
2) New job, working from home full-time, is hard but far less disruptive than my last...
Cmon go open the envelopes Anarchy! Remember your brain is LYING to you about the severity of the problem. You get chemical signals of anxiety and fear that are closer to a grizzly attack than opening the stupid bills. Yes it sucks. Yes you may not have enough $, but what you are avoiding is...