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Thanks AnD. This weekend was just as tough. Found out Saturday morning that DH doesn't want to go to my T appointments anymore. That was really crushing. And then found out Sunday morning that he doesn't want to go to church with me anymore. And not only that, he never actually wanted to go. He...

Well, it's good to know that flare-ups are a real thing. I'm in one now and it's tough as hell. And so debilitating. Abandonment is a huge issue for me as well. Thank you Jefroooo for the positive feedback that these hard days/weeks/months do pass with time and acceptance!!!

@America15 I have to give you major kudos for sticking with your husband and loving him through all his erratic behavior. And I'm sorry that you are having to go through these things. We have a lot of help here on the forums, and people have lots of good advice. The only advice I have is to be...

I too tend to have extra bad days after very good days. I always try to be careful how emotionally "high" I get because the happier the emotions, the worse the crash comes. And I never know quite when it will. I'm sure it has to do with chemical imbalances. But I try to keep everything in...

Ugh, DH and I just had a talk. It was via text. It was a good talk, but I don't feel better. He told me today he went fishing with a female friend of his and it set me off. I'm at work right now too. NOT a good time to have that happen. I was trying so hard not to completely flip out. But it led...

I am, at the moment, med-free. I have a wonderful therapist and I have a couple essential oils that I use (though not enough). I took Zoloft for about 3 years, but I found that I gained a lot of weight and it gave me suicidal thoughts. Mostly I don't think it helped at all. I tried a couple of...

I'm sad today. I'm sad that this has flared up again. It doesn't seem to be greatly affecting my job, but I have a sneaky suspicion it's affecting my relationships. I don't want to talk to my friends or family about it really. I certainly can't talk to DH about it. Whenever I do, he doesn't...

I do have nightmares too. Pretty often. When my anxiety level is really high, they become really frequent. But they are not about anything traumatic. I wonder if it's because I spend so much time feeling fear and anxiety during the day that it creeps into the nighttime to try to deal with it...

Well, here we are. Another day. I'll go back to my actual story now and not the ongoing drama of DH and I. (Cuz it's ongoing for sure. Just saw an old video on FB that DH was tagged in doing a ski shot. Now my palms are sweating, my heart is racing. This is FUN!! >_<) After I finally graduated...

Honestly, transition was one of the hardest parts. I hadn't lived on my own since I was 18 and I was really terrified (especially having kids to provide for). Thankfully, I have a stable job. I used essential oils every day at work to keep me calm and functional. I talked to trustworthy friends...

Well, it's a new day. Now DH (dear husband) is sick. So I came home and of course he hadn't left the bed all day. I made him some soup and went upstairs to be with my kids. He's always got some ailment. Migraines, toothache, backache, neckache, etc. etc. I understand that we are getting older...

Peter, I would say that the majority of the time, my anxiety will last up to 24 hours. However, if I've been severely triggered usually I'm more vulnerable and then am repeatedly triggered by very small things that normally I don't react to anymore. This was the case last week. I had anxiety...

Usually I hug my favorite stuffed animal. I try to call a friend. I always think about my kids. That's usually first. If I'm able, I'll put a nice movie on or the TV. Something to distract me just enough. If it's daytime, getting fresh air is always a nice one. A walk or sitting on the porch...

Coping skills are really important. Trials and tribulations always happen in life, often times all at the same time. But how you handle it, your ability to cope is what then allows you to continue moving forward in life and be stronger for the next time. Happiness can't be determined by the...

Thank you! I don't drink heavily or often, so I don't have the same battle others might. But I don't want to invite that trouble into my life. Even one night of drinking can do so much damage. I'm going to do my best for my own sanity. And I'm glad to be here.

After finishing out the week, things are calmer. I am calmer. My husband has been more than patient with me and very loving. We've talked some. I also was able to see my T. She and I talked too about all kinds of things and I told her everything that has happened. She feels I may need to start...

Had a really horrible night last night. Husband was drinking. Not heavily, but it's been setting me off all week. And I had a really bad meltdown. My first instance of self-harm in a long time. Today I just feel dead inside. I don't really feel like posting past history stuff. I just wish it...

I just want to send you encouragement. I went through a breakup 2 years ago. My PTSD was causing huge issues in our relationship and he ended it. I had 2 weeks to move out and it was ugly and painful. It doesn't sound like this is going to be ugly. I was able to find my own place and work...

It's really insightful to read these types of posts. And I thank you guys for them. I have PTSD. I'm pretty sure my husband has some form of it or another type of undiagnosed issue. He's also an alcoholic. We've been together for about 3 years, but took a break of 7 months because things were so...

I don't have memories like other people suffering do. I don't get the flashbacks. Well, not often. I've had a couple but that was 2 years ago. What I find instead is that I simply don't remember things. My timescale in my head starts about when I was 8, when my dad left. Before that, my memories...

Thank you, Ladee. I really need someplace to be able to say things and be safe. Though it's only my second day, my impression is that it is indeed safe here.

Megan, Welcome to the forums. I'm new here like you and doubt my own reasons for being here. I think you will find that people here are very welcoming. And your story is your own. You have your own reasons for being here. And seeking help and answers and support is a great way to help yourself...

Well, I haven't kept a diary since I was a kid. It was mostly filled with silly secrets like who I had a crush on. While I've always enjoyed writing (i.e. my teen angst stories of high school), writing for personal thought processing has never been something I've been very...active at. But since...

All of your comments are much appreciated. Thank you all. I hope to see you all around.

Thank you. And you're right.