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    Physical problems interrupting being in a better place in other areas

    My life is in such a good place right now relationships wise with hubby kids social workers friends and even extended family. I have never had any of this beauty in my life before and I am seriously grateful so why now with the physical interruptions of the past? I am in agony when all I want to...
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    Sexual Assault Looking for help, afraid i won't talk to doctor - chronic medical problem from sexual assault

    I am crying so much reading your post because I understand what it's like to sustain prolonged damage in a captive position and then years later be suffering such a confusing mixture of phhycological trauma and physical long term and in my case permanent injuries. The line where one starts and...
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    Learning how to feel for the first time

    The feeling ting. Believe it or not this may comfort you. It gets horrid before it gets better. It's horrid almost unbearable what I feel right now but I feel. Some would say and therefor I am but that scares me as I am peinfully aware of my life's insignificance. Regardless I wouldn't swapped...
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    All this work to be back in this position?

    Thank you. And nurses. They saw the bruises and tears, knew what caused those kind of infections and hid the evidence. Institutions a f*cked up. I also have this old injury on my skull from stuff connected to this that I feel to sick need to talk about. Then just when Im truly on the precipice...
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    Does money buy happiness?

    Depends what you do with it, if I had money I'd build a space ship and set up a stem cell therapy clinic free to those who need but can't afford.
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    All this work to be back in this position?

    Sorry was in middle of panic attack. Skull split/ problematic heal is causing more issues than ever and this is a a eek of cat scan and mri and poss surgery. Not hubby's fault all my shit. Sorry. I was abused in an institution. I find doctors very difficult to trust
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    All this work to be back in this position?

    Vulnerable. Scared. At the mercy of professionals. I want to scream and beg but no sound escapes because no one responds well to that. I am not a drama queen. I overcame so much for you faced so many fears head on changed life, dreams perceptions till all of me is a part of you yet you too...
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    The universe/ dark matter

    Oh protons forced together fuse if that force is powerfully enough to overcome there natural avoidance of one another. Electrons need to fuse with neutrons as the there repelling electrical field sensors recognise protons as miscellaneous but are pretty blind to neurons crash bang wallop we have...
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    The universe/ dark matter

    So is hydrogen the smallest particle just made up of atoms and do you know what atoms? Sorry I don't do an 11plus let alone gcse or a level ting. You get older and your like damn. I wanna know this shizzle.
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    The universe/ dark matter

    Isn't all energy matter? Hydrogen, I think it's hydrogen being energy in its most unintercepted form as the smallest simplist particle ever in the universe. Im having moments of ok Little oc.
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    The universe/ dark matter

    If time stops in a black hole and every particle in existence eventually gets sucked into a black hole then at point reenter the space time continuim is that reincarnation? And in order for a black hole to diffuse particles need to escape at a higher rate than they succumb so in order for a...
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    Recovery

    Freedom
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    Sexual Assault Was doing well exposed to big triggers at mo

    The constant feeling at the back of my throat like I'm gonna projectile vom but I'm just holding it there the hot sticky clammy shivering state. I feel the dirt under my skin like a Paris item. I literally peel my top layer of skin of. It looks disgusting and gets easily infected. Stops me going...
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    Therapy not on this week after first session last week - triggering week

    Who her father is but that was easier with obsessive distractions. The truth is I don't know. There were eight of them. They held me there for four and a half days although it felt like much much longer. They used snooker cue holders and I tore so she's had to fight for life from conception. I...
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    Therapy not on this week after first session last week - triggering week

    I have been battling ptsd for six years. I only just got stable enough to commit to group therapy. I attended last week but it's not on this week, I've forgotten why. This week is my clever, kind and just plain epic daughters ninth birthday, when I suffered with more intensive disassociation I...
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    Balance between losing it & not taking any shit?

    It sounds like he's wanting to control the environment of his new home in order to make it feel safe to him but that's just the point, it's not just his home it needs to feel OK to you too. I have lived and been in a relationship with a fellow sufferer for three years now and we have to focus on...
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    Self therapy can only go wrong?

    I'm just about to start group sessions similar to your five week intensive but only on Tuesdays and for time. Mostly I just feel relieved, I've been carrying on making progress being strong not breaking down for the sake of my hubby and kids as it both angers and distresses them, I think I might...
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    Pictures - did anyone take pictures of you during abuse?

    They especially liked filming it when they were using objects to rape me as with access to snooker cues and such it meant they didn't always have to be in the shot. I hate photos so much I've destroyed every photo of myself throughout my life including wedding photos and photos with my kids but...
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    Getting there, can anyone relate?

    After a prolonged revenge attack I ended up pregnant by one of the perpetrators, I lived for the ensuing years terrified they'd find me and my daughter, gave birth to her completely alone in an abandoned sand quarry lived of the grid in self built benders in the middle of nowhere because I felt...
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    I don't trust anyone

    I have been a member of this forum twice in the last three years, for just under a year each time but I think this is the first time I am about to succeed in typing I was gang raped every other weekend from the age of six to eight by a group of five "photographers" who had beguile my superficial...
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    Relationship Do yall still keep in touch?

    You are strong, heartache is one of the most intense emotions. Things are getting gradually more solid between us at the mo but would still like to learn how not to trigger the Hyde with my emotions and vocal articulations, he himself even jokes about his jekyll and Hyde like personality which...
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    Relationship Do yall still keep in touch?

    What could help him if it is that?
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    Relationship Do yall still keep in touch?

    Petty not pretty lol
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    Relationship Do yall still keep in touch?

    I have been with my hubby for three years, as the only boyfriend I've had I don't have a point of reference with lots of basic shit so try to learn on the fly. There have been so many core changes in him as a person that seem to be triggered mostly by me expressing any emotion, the formation of...
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