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I hadn’t seen her for over a week and she apologized for not emailing back bc she was overwhelmed w paperwork and stuff. Guess I should have clarified better.

Honestly I think I have even faked it w my therapist. I have a limited support circle and when they’ve seen me start to crash and burn they started to freak out and I found myself trying to comfort them and minimizing my problems. I’ve noticed it happens in therapy too like if my therapist will...

Cartwheel roll

I am not sure where else to post this ( as I don’t w some of my other threads lol) but I just sorta wanted to check in. I know I haven’t been really active the past few weeks. I’ve kinda isolated myself and have been distracting myself w mind numbing tasks or games. I still have some medical...

@SheilaKathy I can only watch certain genres of horror, like torture ones like Saw I can’t or alien ones for some odd reason. I like psychological thrillers and for some reason ones w possession, I find those intriguing but I think the draw to them for me is that most (not all) the good guys...

@Stephernovas I worked w adults w disabilities as a behavior therapist, studying for my behavior analyst certification, I worked w one guy who had autism who just did not belong there, he didn’t thrive. At the end of the day I wasn’t mad at him I was so disappointed w the agency I worked for and...

Hi @Stephernovas, I’m sorry you’re going through all this. I can somewhat relate as I’m still fighting a work comp battle even though I am no longer employed at the place. I was injured to the point I needed a disc replaced in my neck but the work comp doctor said I was perfectly fine and could...

It’s been a really tough 5 Days or so w emotions, family stuff and a total random story of how I ended up finding a lost dog on Christmas night in -15 degree weather. The funeral was difficult, it was probably the coldest and most disjointed funeral I’ve ever been to. There were obvious...

@SheilaKathy i do have my therapist’s email. I do email her sometimes a lot, sometimes not. I know she doesn’t always have time to respond, a lot of it is me trying to process things or be more open. It’s been 5 years and I still have a lot of trust issues, not bc of the therapist, just bc of...

Thank you everyone. Yesterday and today went as ok as possible. Some family drama but that was to be expected. I just feel kinda numb and maybe in shock still. I’m trying very hard not to isolate bc then my depression takes an opportune chance and jumps all over me. I’m really glad I have...

today is the day of my aunt’s funeral. I hope she can be laid to rest with minimal family drama and problems. Will update later.

Thank you. I haven’t been sleeping well or been able to eat much. The funeral is Friday and there’s so much family drama and anger I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I’ve had some pretty bad panic attacks today. I saw my psych doctor and her and my therapist are I guess on a texting...

Thank you all for your kind words. Today has been one of the longest days and one of the most emotional that I’ve felt in a long time. There’s a lot of family anger and drama already starting so I’m not sure how the rest of this week is going to play out, hopefully no physical fights...

Update: my aunt passed away last night :( even though I saw her Saturday and how sick she was I was still hoping for something I don’t know why.

For some reason I decided to watch Zero Dark Thirty, was ok.

I am not sure where I should post this. I’m having a really tough week. I know I had posted earlier about boundaries and stuff but my life decided to be even more fun and throw me a few more curveballs. My medical stuff is still up in the air, I now have to wait a month to see an orthopedic...

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone this week for the extra support, honest feedback and concern. It’s been a hell of a week and I just really appreciate having someplace to go and talk w people about what’s going on in the mess that is my head.

Thanks @Rain , that actually made me tear up, in a good way. Just struggling a lot now. This week has been the worst so far and as stuff keeps happening I’m just like “you’ve gotta be shitting me”.

I actually came off of Cymbalta ok but I miss it bc it was helping w my pain. Now I’m on Prozac which seems ok. I think I just have milder forms of depression and never remission.

Mri came back ok for my neck, now I have to see an orthopedic surgeon as to why I’m having pain and numbness. Also in the waiting room my aunt called me to let me know my other aunt has 1-2 weeks to live. It’s been a rough day. :(

@scout86 As I was laying strapped to the MRI machine like Hannibal Lecter (face guard included) I was thinking about what you said about “feelings not being facts”, and I think that’s something I’ve never thought of before. In the moment they certainly feel real and like the reality that exists...

@scout86 i have thought about and semi started a self care back pack but it was when I first started getting flashbacks of my attack so it turned out to be more of a bag of legit survival tools and weapons which surprisingly (sarcasm) isn’t helpful. I think the last year or so I’ve let fear...

@Justmehere no, I think you’re correct. When I am in a crisis situation I don’t always jump to suicidal feelings, it’s more of I need to calm down and I feel like everything is crashing down on me. I have felt suicidal before and I do know in those instances the hospital should help and should...

A simple scent or clip of a sound can flood you with a thousand feelings and memories

Run- covered by Katherine McPhee