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I want to thank everyone for the input. With insurance I can only have one therapist and one psychiatrist at a time so unfortunately I can't have both. I will probably reach out to my Former and see if there is even a chance that we could work together, but it probably is a good topic to...

A couple of years ago I relocated across the state and as a result I had to terminate my long term relationship with my T of four years. One of the primary reasons though not the only was that my insurance was changing and he didn't accept my new insurance. The other major reason was distance...

Hello right back at you. Don't sweat intro, honestly I never did one and I have been here probably 4 years now.

I went to see the dr today as I have had pain in my ankle/heel area for a couple weeks that felt very similar to when I had tendinitis in the Achilles of the other leg. My PCP dr was great and after a physical inspection and knowing that I made a three hour drive to see him he reached out to a...

@blackemerald1 and @PreciousChild thank you for continuing to think about me. I took some time off this past week in part because I had PTO that I was going to lose if I didn't use before July 1 and partially because I had been really ignoring my self-care the past several months due to the...

@Survivor3 i will probably get to that point right now I just want to not contact him at all unless absolutely necessary. Our last conversation when he said he was out ended with me sayi would like to keep things “friendly” I didn’t say stay friends in part because I know that we will both be...

@Survivor3 blocking him is not an option unfortunately because his work/employer does interact and conduct business with my organization/employer and we both do so in a small rural area where eliminating communication between him and I from a work capacity would be very detrimental to my career...

I am driving myself nuts, why did he text, what was he expecting, what do I do now? I know I have to just put it out of my mind, ignore that he texted me and move on, a day at a time, realizing that it won't be as easy as just saying that but it will take time.

And like nothing happened he just texted me, "Hi, just checking in to say hi" as if what I will just forget what happened? I wondered if this would happen, that I didn't reach out, act as though he hurt me, didn't beg for his attention like in the past then he would reach out because he can't...

Maybe, you can talk to your T about emotional neglect? I have had T try to get me to connect to my "inner child" but it is not a concept that I can recognize or connect/accept. However, my current T has approached this from suggesting books that he thinks would be helpful for me to understand...

I wish it were just this one man but is has been every man I have ever had any possibility or hope for more than being an acquaintance has or told me I am fill in the blank with too fat, unattractive, needy, distant, broken, bitchy or generally any other negative demeaning descriptor I guess...

I hate my self for wanting to hear from him. I know I won't, not unless he wants something and this is the part of me that I hate. I hate that I wanted it to be more than it was when I knew from the beginning it never would be. I hate that I can't just accept that this is my life, there isn't...

Thank you all, I know that I will get past this and I will stop hurting but it was the way he did it, "I'm Out", out of what? It was so childish and yet he was acting like I was be an out of control child. Is it possible that things had run their course yes, but more likely that he never gave...

I have been expecting this since quarantine started, well actually before that but yeah at least the last three months. It wasn't that he was so adamant about not breaking quarantine because we were both essential workers it was that every time I reached out to talk or text he was "exhausted...

Yesterday I was fed up with my co-worker. She had been given free run of the entire building when she started work and has terrible grooming habits stopping anywhere to run her hands through her hair and leaving behind hair anywhere that she goes. Every time I turn around I have to clean the...

Some time to step back and evaluate what my next steps should in terms of therapy, work and how to continue to move forward.

clarity

@barefoot thank you for the input. For now I am writing and seeing what comes out. I will see if there is anything that I want to send out for rejection/publication after I have 20-30 stories under my belt. In terms of a second income stream I don't expect to make thousands of dollars I...

So I talked to my T about this tonight and he is definitely on board with me finding a different outlet than sexting with anonymous strangers. We did talk about topics to stay away from including anything that would be a trauma recreation that reinforces my cognitive stuck points. So I am...

That is a huge accomplishment you deserve to consider this a win and you should be very proud.

This is one of my questions/concerns to an extent I would need to have someone hold me accountable limiting the number or length of the stories This would be what I have to work through, the idea is yes for them to be healthy, not negative mental recreations of my trauma experiences but maybe...

So, these pandemic times of isolation and physical distancing from other people along with other things triggered a maladaptive coping mechanism that I thought I had laid to rest. it is one that because of the sexual nature of it is difficult once triggered to just stop because the endorphin...

He is finishing up his college semester and has a class during my session time so no he can’t go for a walk right now in a couple weeks he will be able to but for now it was just bad luck and small spaces.

Currently working my way through the chronological Marvel movie universe with my son. Great movie binge over several days.

So I went and we did a face to face session and the relief I felt was palatable. We talked, I was able to be totally honest about what I am doing, why I am doing it and actually traced it back to what triggered this, it isn't the lockdown, it isn't work stress I realized that two weeks ago when...