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I agree with you on not being hard on yourself for past actions. Sometimes I have the sense of "I should've acted this way". The main reason that I'm analyzing my thoughts and behaviors is because I remember when there was a time when I was ok. I notice there are certain thoughts and behaviors...

I agree with Saffy :) . Another good teacher regarding the present moment is Leonard Jacobson. He's very deep. However, I think there's more than embracing the present moment because the PTSD still exists. It's just from my personal experience. Buddhism has helped me understand the nature of...

Metallica - "Fade to Black" Perfect lyrics... Perfect ending melody... Perfect guitar solos... Perfect song...

I thinks it's natural for me to continue judging my feelings. I am aware that there are feelings that I don't want so accepting them is hard. I accept that I'm hurt and I don't judge that fact that much. I wish I could tell you more, but being in tune with the moment didn't get rid of my...

I have been on Prozac for about five weeks. Every time I take it, my mood elevates. I may get back to a state of normality again if I stay on this path. There are two concerns that I have. First, it is that I may have to stay on Prozac for a long time, maybe indefinitely. If I have to I have...

Only we can be the judges if there is something wrong with us. If people don't want to stick around it's their choice. Over the years, I've developed a mentality where my main focus is to get well again... That's it. How I look on the outside isn't much of a concern for me. My well being is more...

- I never meant to hurt you - Things could be a lot worse. Look at all the suffering in the world. - You have a great opportunity right now. Why won't you capitalize on it?

I can relate. It feels painful every time I'm getting better. I have this feeling that I don't deserve it, but the Prozac is continuing to help me alleviate these thoughts. Do you go through a similar experience?

I have been on Prozac for about five weeks. Also, I have been going to weekly therapy session for six weeks. Since day one, I have been getting better. Every time I take Prozac, my mood elevates. It's been like this continually since day one. With an elevated mood, I'm able to understand my...

Five years ago, I had a breakdown. It was because I lost my mother at 15, lost my father at 17, my older brother became a deceptive drug addict, and I felt all alone. Since then, I've been on an antidepressant and going to therapy once a week. The medication is definitely lifting my mood and the...

I think it might be a form of displacement. Maybe the behaviors were expressed as an internal anger from what had happened. I'm going to continue with Prozac. My approach is to get my mood elevated enough to where I can hopefully clearly see what happened to me in the past. The behaviors can be...

I tend to notice a correlation between depression and unwanted behaviors. That was the case for me. I may have acted in certain ways that I didn't want to, but those were options in that mental state. Since I've been on Prozac for about five weeks, I am continuing to get back in touch with older...

There's a psychological phenomenon where the abused person passes on the abusive behavior that was done. An example is a man that was beat as a child abuses his own children. I think, to a degree, it is a learned response, but it can be changed. I think the best ways of confronting it is by...

Gizmo, I share your pain with family issues. After both of my parents passed away, my older brother became a deceptive drug addict. I now live on my own with practically no family ties. One thing that I've learned about people you love (or loved) is that you were hurt because of the problems...

With PTSD, we have extra effort that we have to exert to do normal things. For me, it's finding a reason to want to live despite having gone what I've gone through (losing both of my parents). I tend to have the "what's the point" mentality because at the end of the day, it ended up being a...

I'm starting to understand my kind of grief. I think that I have a belief that I can not live a normal life because of how horrific both of my parents deaths were. My brain has internalized both experiences as being too horrific. The only way I can try to confront this is to go into detail about...

KatB, I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. It will take time to properly grieve a loved one. I think you can get a sense of normality back. Regarding God, I understand where you are coming from. It is true that it is paradoxical to believe in a loving God that allows so much suffering. Along...

I started Prozac about five weeks ago. Every day, my mood elevates. I'm starting to get the point where my brain is wanting me to cry my eyes out. Now, every time my mood elevates, it feels like I'm wanting to hold on to the pain of my parents deaths. It's like my brain is trying to fight...

A lot of my pleasure came from letting my parents know of my accomplishments. They were a large incentive to continue going. I will have to relearn accepting pleasure (making music, studying philosophy and science, exercise, nutrition, hanging out with friends, succeeding/accomplishing, etc.)...

Hashi, thanks for the response. I will focus on the good aspects of my parents. I think a realistic way of resolving the thoughts of how they suffered is to acknowledge that it was just a natural part of life. It is reassuring for you to let me understand your personal feelings of how you would...

Sailorgal, what makes me happy is examining life. What makes me suffer is how I perceive the world. I used to be a Christian, but after taking a philosophy class and realizing how horrible my parents deaths were, I couldn't have faith anymore. I feel like I have a solid grip on reality. I like...

Thanks for the response. I understand the overcoming aspect. However, I don't know how I can overcome it. There are many factors that keep me from embracing life again. For example, my mother was in a vegetative state for a week and on a respirator. She was more than likely braindead during that...

I've had the "succeed at all costs" mentality until it finally caught up with me. I didn't talk about my parents unexpected deaths and tried to go on living a normal life. It worked for a certain amount of years, but I struggle with this every day. I think you have a right to complain even if...

I don't know how I get through the holidays. I'd like to enjoy them a lot, but both of my parents passed away. All I do is live according to memory. I'm not sure if there actually is a solution that exists.

I usually don't like to talk about my past, but this forum is a good place to do so. When I was 15, my mother had a brain aneurysm on Thanksgiving Day. She was in a vegetative state (on a respirator) for a week before she had to be let go. Two years later, when I was 17, I walked into my...