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Basically, I gave up on people. I always felt like there was a battle and no matter what I did I would never have peace of mind. So now, I just try to teach people and give a positive message. The idea of me ever being accepted died six years ago. And if I ever try to change that belief, I feel...

I might be scared of changing because I had a breakdown the last time. I was doing so well and some people tried to break me down. Unfortunately, it happened. If I get to a level like that again, I don't know if I could handle all of the jealous and manipulative people.

The beliefs serve me in being aware of how bad the world can be. With them, I focus on making the world a better place. However, these beliefs are very painful. Yeah, I can change my beliefs, but I don't know if any beliefs can resolve some experiences I've gone through. I don't know how...

Albatross, my stasis state has always felt unfamiliar since the first day PTSD developed six years ago. However, I thought that it was the right way to be, so I have stayed in my PTSD world. Because of this, I haven't been able to get my life on the track I want. Staying in this world has not...

I have have PTSD for six years. For a couple years, I decided to isolate and just rest. I couldn't take outside pressures anymore and needed to put myself together. Currently, I'm still holding onto pain because it is where I feel secure. However, for the past month, there has been a "pulling"...

My relationship with my father was ok. He did not abuse or neglect me. However, he would try to make me feel bad. He would say, "Yeah, I'm a bad father." I knew that it was a guilt trip to try to make me feel bad about myself. When he passed, I felt like it was my fault. It took years to eat me...

I know exactly where you are coming from. Sorry about your mother's passing. I, too, have been left with many hidden secrets. Many times, I think he kept them in order to hurt me. For me, it's like an oath that I can't live because my father's gone. And if I did, it would be wrong. There would...

A problem that I face is having to deal with the feeling that my traumatic memories are attacking me. For example, my father passed away from a massive heart attack. I saw the aftermath and it was very traumatic. Even after 10 years, I still am connected with that memory. If I try to do...

Thanks for the response. Previously, I was very assertive. However, I did still have the outside-validation insecurity. What led me to change (or become more presonally devoted) was my passion for music. I was on a path that strayed me away from doing what I love. I still have doubts about what...

Saffy, I agree with you completely. My problem is that I've been hurt by so many people that I have an overall painful feeling. Something that interrupts my everyday normal functioning. It needs to be resolved. I just don't know why so many people have done this. Believing in myself is hard...

I can relate. I have been dissociated for a long time. I remember once feeling normal. My brain is starting to reconnect, but when the connection is made, the mind and body freak out. I've been relaxing and letting the process happen. Sooner or later, I'll feel comfortable again.

I've realized that some of my thought processes are no longer being used since the trauma. It seems like I am less analytical and more creative than how I used to be. More than likely, emotional neglect has led me to think this way. During the trauma process, I started thinking to myself, "Why...

Spideralis, thanks for the kind words. Yes, I've performed in Pittsburgh and Columbus. Honestly, having a deeper awareness seems to be a hindrance. It's hard because I have trouble connecting with people. I used to to live according to how they lived, but that was when I was treated unfairly. I...

Last night, I went to a yearly festival in my home city. People usually go there to catch up with each other. I've been out of college for six years but my peers still respect me. As long as you're staying focused and remaining loyal to yourself, everything should be ok.

ashdawn8287, That's the hardest thing thing to accept. That the world won't care. I think the the reason that I make music is to prove the world wrong. I want to prove that people can care about each other. Personally, it's hard for me to keep motivated if the world that I work hard in doesn't...

ashdawn8287, I'm glad things are going well for you. We are on the same page. I also read self help books. Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, and Eckharte Tolle are all good. The main dilemma I deal with is believing that even if were completely healed the world wouldn't care anyway. A...

One of the issues I've had is being able to trust my thought processes. It is said that one should change them if something new is learned and can be used to his or her advantage. However, what if they were threatened by another person and you changed them out of sheer survival? I always feel...

ACT therapy sounds good. It's easy to understand why people can take drugs in order to avoid their problems. I just never thought it would happen to me. I'm not going to fall into the trap of taking drugs though. I'd rather suffer instead of numb myself. What boggles my mind is that I don't know...

Just beating him up. I was taught that if someone pushes you then you push them back. The only reason I didn't beat him up before is because he's my brother and he was addicted to drugs. However, he still believes that his disrespectful behavior was and is not wrong. I have told him that he has...

I had to deal with a drug addict brother for three years. I wanted to help him but he used my caring nature to his advantage and was deceptive. He always tried to make me feel bad. I left a long time ago but still suffer from PTSD. No matter what I do, my brain tells me that the only way I won't...

I honestly believe that thousands of people will have to be glad that I am alive. And I've always believed that this can be accomplished through my music. I sort of feel like fans of my music are my support system (along with my friends). What keeps me going is the thought that I will do...

I think my biggest challenge is holding onto the pain and not knowing how to let it go. I guess it's sort of become a part of my identity and it's hard seeing myself not holding onto it.

You are absolutely right. Sorry about the horrific things that happened. I'm glad you are doing well. After the trauma occurred, something snapped in me. You said that you like to teach and you enjoy working with children. I enjoy making music. I started making it when I was 14 (before the...

Honestly, I just feel like my life is over. I lost my mom when I was 15 to a brain aneurysm and my father to a massive heart attack at 17. The rest of my family has drug issues and I refuse to be a part of it. It's hard doing everything alone because there's no way of being able to tell if I'm...

If people caused my PTSD, how can I get back to living happily and peaceful with them again? That is a question I deal with.