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My mom sent me this in an e-mail.

I just had another proud Papa moment yesterday. Mikayla had a birthday since the last post so she is 6 now. Anyway this weekend I spent at my brothers house. Mikayla has been riding her bicycle with training wheels on it since last summer. Well she saw that my niece had learned how to ride a...

So i was working on my camper a few days ago. I was trying to fit in the counter top board with my 4 year old as a helper. She would hand me the nails when I asked her to and she'd tell me what i was doing wrong. At one point I got frustrated and started swearing a blue streak. At this time my...

Dear Dracula, Remember that night about 100 years ago after the Christmas party? Well, you have a son, his name is Edward. Love, Tinkerbell

A guy was driving along a country road and noticed a farmer standing in the middle of his field in the pouring rain. He thought he might be in trouble so he stopped his car and went over and asked if he was okay. The farmer said, "Oh yeah, I'm fine. I'm just trying to win a Nobel prize." The...

I wish people would not automatically assume I have combat PTSD. I wish they would understand that just because I have PTSD it does not mean that I will snap and go on a killing spree. I wish people would not look at me as if I am damaged goods and not to be trusted. I wish that just for 5...

Wish granted Amethist, The only problem is you are cursed with the chocolate Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to chocolate!!!!! I wish my wife's aunt would mind her own business and stop telling me how to live my life.

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and asks, "What would you like, sir?" He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."...

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch? A: Beef Jerky

Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work!

Hard to Kill Steven Segal shoots at a guy's crotch. "I missed. I never miss. They must be smaller than I thought."

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If...

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor...

Earlier today I was busy telling my daughter little kid jokes. And I told the one "hey wanna hear a dirty joke?" and my wife gave me this funny look like I was really going to tell her a dity joke. Anyway when I told the punch line of " a pig fell in the mud" Becca just started giggling out of...

First of all it's been awhile since I posted on this thread. Almost a year it looks like. Anyway back to the purpose of this post. I read this blog about this guy who talks in his sleep. Well apparently he and his wife had been at a sloth sanctuary volunteering. They posted a picture of this...

A man named Marty called his son. “Harry I have news to tell you, I know it’s going to upset you but I have made up my mind and their is nothing you can do about it. I have decided to divorce your mother.” “But dad how can that be “the son asked “you have been married for 40 years, and you...

Well I am not sure if I could do the whole song here. But this song really spoke to me one day. Since then whenever I am feeling like reflecting on life I listen to it. Dropkick Murphy's Green fields of France. "Oh how do you do, young Willy McBride Do you mind if I sit here down beside...

I also have the anger. It is always just below the surface waiting to explode at a moments notice. I am married with 3 kids and while I may not have combat PTSD I have about as close as you can get without being in combat. I have learned that my wife will remind me if my anger is getting out of...

As you know, Gandhi was a spiritual man. He also went on many hunger strikes, which left him weak and gave him bad breath. He usually walked without shoes, leaving his feet quite rough. Or, to put it another way, he was a super-calloused fragile mystic vexed by halitosis!

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that...

I was debating on where to put this post since it could go in my diary or here and I chose to put it here. Today I received an e-mail from the animal shelter that I picked up my Abby from. It appears that her sister that was adopted about a month later may possibly have a future in service dog...

I have been noticing the amount of beef jerky I eat on a regular basis costs me a lot of money. I think it was 6 bucks for the small bag of Jack links the last time I bought it and there was only about 5 decent sized pieces in there. So I thought hey why not try making my own. My brother back in...

OH WOW!!! I had no idea there was a birthday thread for me!!! Thank you everyone! I have been pretty sick the past week so I haven't been online much. Man it's great to know I have friends that remember. My oldest brother didn't even call me until the day after. Thank you all for the birthday...

travel is an issue for me and i am also technologically challenged. but I supposed if shattered is in so am i.

well, Popeye 1 Nurse 0... I was right and she was wrong. Although it appears at this point that it doesn't matter since we no longer will be seeing that doctor.