Search results

Yeah, it's clear that she's just being selfish at this point. She refused to let me take one of the dogs on the weekends even though she would be too busy with a second job to even hang out with him, and then refused to give me my space at the new gym (she joined a month after I did while she...

It's been almost like breaking up all over again. I realized she wasn't coming back after she finally wrote an email at least touching upon all that's happened for the first time. I now know there is no coming back. You would think that through all your efforts and attempts to show the person...

No problem. Go right ahead :)

I can say that I wish my former partner had directed me here or to a similar resource after perhaps sharing with me the generic notions that she was "emotionally and sexually abused." I don't think I needed to know any details AT ALL. I needed to understand how it affected her and our...

Thanks so much for your kind words. Hugs back. All my traumas (not even close to what she's been through) have happened from late Dec to March. I myself dread this time of the year but I realized the other day that it's almost Spring. I met up with a supportive friend and he basically said the...

I hear what you're saying and agree. It's just so hard when they're shut down and isolating to get to "healthy" for both of us without us ending and both unable to move on because that's not what either of us wants. I might be a lost cause at this point. I'm driving my ex to see her family for...

I tried asking her but she adamantly does not want to do counselling. The last therapist pushed too hard and she is STILL triggered from telling me things. I see her maybe twice a week. I'm trying to give her space. Thing is, like many glutton for punishment supporters, do NOT want to move on...

Ha. I guess PTSD Love??

I think this might be my last post on here. I've spent so much time thinking about PTSD and I'm losing it. I finally cracked after a good month or more of not checking my ex's Instagram (we still see each other a couple of times a week at the gym and talk as I drop her off), and so much has...

I'm really sorry to hear that. That's sounds really awful. Hugs if you accept them.

All you can do is keep reading and commiserate with those who continue to live with this. At least you're still in the game. Losing your partner to something terrible from their past is the worst. You never want to quit on them but then end up hurting yourself if you don't develop healthy coping...

That used to drive me nuts. I would see the awesome version of her emerge with others, even relative strangers! But then I would get the PTSD version. It was like come on! they're not getting you up in the morning, making you breakfast, packing lunch, taking care of the dogs, prepping dinner...

Empaths meeting empaths. A great idea with the caveat that we aren't all codependents who then get preyed on by narcissists or willfully seek out the emotionally unavailable/injured.

I really hope she still cares. It's hard to tell sometimes. I just love her so much so I act the only way I know how to which is love her and support her so I spontaneously do things like get the poor girl a toaster because she can't muster up the will to go to the store (but she'll drag herself...

My partner telling me what happened to her also opened Pandora's box and basically destroyed our relationship :( She described her past therapist as having pushed too hard to soon. I can't remember the timeline accurately enough to know if she said this before telling me or afterwards. Either...

thank you so much for your honest and heartfelt response. I know you're right and I say the same things to myself. It's just nicer hearing it confirmed from someone else too. This forum is great because it keeps me from bringing these questions to her. Thank you so much.

Hi there, I was wondering if anyone can give me some insight perhaps into what my ex is saying or not saying. We are still in contact because we train at the same gym in a specific sport where it's difficult to find a new high level training facility. Regardless, I don't wish to go "no contact"...

Wow. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. While what I experienced wasn't nearly as long in duration, I've been there and felt that. All I can say is I'm sorry, and leave you with what a counsellor said to me that really helped: "There were factors far, far, far beyond your control or...

Yeah I'm honestly confused a lot. I look back and her hear words and overanalyze. Like when we "split" (which is what she told mutual acquaintances), she told me "I know you're confused but it is best that we're not together right now." And when we talk sometimes in person, she'll be completely...

Thanks for your reply. I think eating disorders (which she doesn't suffer from anymore and wasn't when we were together), in her case at least, had a lot to do with control, and perhaps gaining back control of her body. It is the same way with her fitness goals. Again, control. She only sent...

As I stated earlier, I wasn't trying to take the dog. I was merely stating that I grew attached to him and took care of him 90% of the time, and in the future, if we know we're going to always work through these hopefully rare occurrences, that our entire life structure not get completely...

I can really see how that simplifies things in a lot of ways. It's always great to team up but this might be the right idea in a lot of cases. The housing market here is ridiculous though. We moved in a little earlier than most because it was just easier financially for the both of us (mostly...

Thanks for the thoughtful response. I had some counselling through work and it helped. I'm hoping I don't need to do more because I'm no longer covered. I'll take it day by day for now and take a break from thinking about these things. You're right though. Reading the stories of others helped me...

Thanks for your thoughtful response. Yes, she trains at the gym as me and I'm still on the lease. I think everyone is right and I'm just burnt out. I'm going to take some time away from thinking about this for a while and take care of some injuries I have. Thank you everyone.

Thanks. The dog I miss most was a Chihuahua rescue. We were inseparable :(