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Broke up tonight I talked to him tonight. I just blurted it all out. He was surprisingly calm and said he saw it coming. I am relieved that I did it, but also feel so guilty for hurting him. I never thought that being the one doing the breaking up would have such a difficult time as well...

I have been struggling with this for a month now. Being in a relationship and going through therapy is too difficult for me. My bf is dealing with his ex, which brings out the worse in him, plus lawyers and stuff. That is triggering me big time. I have talked to my counsellor and she thinks it...

Hello everyone, Lately I have been overwhelmed with alot of things and find it hard to put on a happy face for my boyfriend. I don't want him to worry about me. I don't want to cause him more stress. He just doesn't understand depression. My friends say he is in love with me, but I am not sure...

Well here we are again, end of a year. Last year I was so hopeful that by this time I would be feeling better and would have worked through my problems. Instead what do I get? More memories, flashbacks, nightmares. I ask myself when does it stop? I am not feeling very hopeful this year at all. I...

Difficult Therapy Session - T asks what do I need? I never have an answer to that question. What do I need most right now. I don't know, that is why I am paying her the big bucks!!!! It all comes down to fact that I never was supposed to need/want anything, so now I am just used to not asking...

Very long night Ok, these symptoms seem to be winning. Last night was very hard. Lots of nightmares and flashbacks. Lots of crying. Went to Christmas dinner at my parents, felt like I was a stranger and didn't belong. I don't know what is happening to me. I have lots of supportive...

Couldn't have HIS child love children. It has always been my dream to have kids. But couldnt have his child, I didnt think I could go through with pregnancyI was in very abusive relationship in every way, physical, emotional and sexual. After 6 year of ending the pregnancy, I am still...

I am finding this year harder than most for some reason. It is like all of a sudden I am realizing that this really happened and I am not ok. Have become afraid to leave the house alone. I called my counsellor to have a phone session, but she said I should come in and see her face to face. I...

I am highly dissociative. Now she has me all confused. And to make matters worse I do have blank in memory where I don't remember what I said or did. And in T I have lots of blanks especially when she asks hard questions. I always get so scared when she tells me last said you said this or that...

I did talk to my counsellor yesterday. She knew I was feeling down, and kept asking about suicidal ideation, I finally told her the truth. She will call my doctor and talk to her about it, to see if I can get some meds to help me sleep and with anxiety over the holidays. Just seems to be so...

just curious. my doctor has asked me a few timees in the past. i can never have the courage to tell her the truth at the time. i always let her know when i am feeling better. i guess i am afraid she would make me go to hospital if i told her about my suicidal thoughts. this past few weeks, i...

keep thinking, i shouldn't have survived, i didn't deserve to survive

flashbacks nightmares thoughts voices feelings just too much to deal with

oh sibemom, lets hide out together!!!!! Seriously, I really do know how you are feeling. I had same type of experience this week, at my OWN party. Should have sang Its my party and I will cry if I want to!!!. I have been able to talk to my bf and friends and now they know I cannot handle...

thank you all so much for reading this and understanding. my bf doesn't get why although I appreciate what they did, it bothers me. I just have to accept the fact that unless you have depression/anxiety/PTSD, you just don't "get it". Veiled, I did retreat to the bedroom every so often to...

It was my b-day yesterday. My bf decided to throw a surprise party for me. I haven't been doing so good lately, and I have told him all week I didn't want anything. I wasn't up for putting on a "happy" face. I thought he understood and he knows I get anxious around people. He planned the party...

wow marlene, i am so sorry you are going through this. i read your post from daughters perspective. i am going through a hard time too and when was a teenager cut as well. i feel so bad that i put my parents through that all. i was just in so much pain, i didnt realize i was hurting others...

hurts to breathe sometimes, feeling very overwhelmed. my current bf knows about ptsd, he is very supportive. i have been triggered very easily lately and he is under lots of stress at work and his ex-wife is driving him nuts. i told him i need to take a break, i cant deal with ptsd and his...

going crazy? seemed to have blocked out the whole week. t said was dissociation. i dont even remember talking to her this week and she called everyday to check in with me. am i losing my mind? i am really scared. my roomate said i have been quiet this week and havent gone out much. i lost a...

I am in Canada, so I am not sure entirely if this applies to you in the States. But I think it Disability Act is almost the same. I don't think you need to disclose all the details of what type of illness you have. All you need is a note from doctor stating that you have a disability and that...

I know exactly how you feel. I just came from counselling today and am so worn out, feel like I can sleep all day. It does take alot of energy. Now I know why she suggested I stay off work for a bit. However to continue seeing her I need $$$$ so I am in a bit of a bind. I dont know what to...

not sure how to put the brakes on. in counselling i just gave her my written story for the first time. so maybe that is making things worse. nov 11 was anniversary date, and this past week i blanked out all week. i havent been taking my meds regularly, i have forgotten, just seems like alot...

i do get triggered very easily lately. i have even been avoiding my current bf because I cant stand to even be hugged right now. i dont recognize the person i am becoming. it is so hard. i have like so many messages to return. i dont have energy to talk to anyone. feel like am spiralling...

ty veiled, tabitha and batgirl for responding. I really do appreciate it. i dont know what i am going to do. this past week is a complete blank to me. my doctor said that this is dissociation, but i am scared i am losin my mind.

I am not sure I can hang on though. Somedays I feel nothing at all and other days it hurts to even breathe. It goes from one extreme to the other. Sometimes I wonder why I even survived. It is like I am the one sentenced to life for his crime.