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I'm so glad to hear that he has "left the building". It sounds like you are trying to keep yourself busy and have found some new friends. Remember, you have the right to take out an order of protection against your ex as well as his friend. Anyone on your property can be arrested with this...

Definition of "self" For the definition of "self", I must look into "self". No one can tell me what my "self" is unless I allow them to identify me by "their self." I have never found anyone who claims to know what others need to be helpful unless they have been in my shoes. To argue that I...

H.a.l.t. Congrats girl!!! It sounds as if you are on a natural high! When learning about my drug addiction, I found that our bodies actually do produce endorphines that are released by our brains that cause a "high". That is the feeling of happiness and peace or serenity that we are supposed...

Something I wanted to add to all the wonderful advice that's been given is that I have a hard time dealing with the unknown when I try to project what will happen. My way of dealing with panic situations is to try to stay one step ahead of what I think will happen. I'm a survivor and that was...

I think one of the only times my husband made sense to me was when he said about friendship... If you go into a friendship with expectations you better believe that they will be just as you expected..human and full of troubles. Once I entered the relationship with that expectation, they...

KEEP BREATHING! Try to center yourself and stay in a safe place. Try not to think about it until the panic subsides. You are safe now and that is all you need to look at. The unknown will always make me feel like I'm gonna lose it, but I never do. You won't either. Try not to over do it...

I can relate to the feelings of not trusting... The only times I have ever been able to take a few steps forward was to trust. I really had no reason to, I just had reached the end of my rope. Amazingly, when I reached out, I almost always got a helping hand. My gut always told me no, but I...

In the passion I have felt to help those I felt were hurting (like me), I have inadvertently discovered that I was actually working on myself through them. I didn't realize this until my friend started to make choices that had not been what I would have done. I would feel uncomfortable and...

You go Pandora! You are living now, not existing. I'm so glad the withdrawals were something you seemed to fly by...When I read about your close call with the "enemy" (your ativan) my heart went in my stomach! When I first stopped my addiction it was the hardest thing to not think of it, want...

In my experience with drugs and alcohol, I felt like everyone was trying to tell me what to do when I had found the perfect way to handle my inner pain. By not feeling (due to using) there were no problems. I was very functioning, holding jobs and appointments. In the beginning (my early...

Something I learned in therapy was to not only re-program your thinking but to also learn how to keep yourself SAFE while dealing with others and the trauma. I too found that I had fragmented. I knew the others were there, but they didn't know each other. It took me time and a treatment...

Hey Bucchi, Welcome to a place for processing bad stuff and learning coping skills. You are in the right place and are not alone. I feel your pain and suffering after reading your post. Please know that you can come here any time, night or day, and have people who really care about what...

I believe PTSD can be beaten about as much as I believe type 1 diabetes can be beaten. You try different meds and diets. You use tools that help build your immune system, but you will always have the disease. Just because your symptoms get better from time to time does not mean you have...

Hey RosieNorth! Glad you found this forum. For me it has helped me get through some pretty panicky situations. Just having a place to tell my feelings has allowed me to process them much quicker. Hope you find the same and please keep yourself and your children safe. It won't be long and he...

I can really relate to what BlueinNY posted. My mother never agreed with anything I said. She would deny me my feelings, experiences, questions, sense of self. All the memories I have of my mother is one of denying me my identity. As a small child, I was scared into her control...

For me, that feeling was something that I found out later was my perpetrator's way to keep me in HIS sickness. My feeling dirty after the rapes was a given. I had to realize that holding on to that feeling only allowed them to victimize me over and over and over. Just the original abuse was...

Hey Ghost, Please don't feel that anyone in the forum is attacking your feelings or perceptions. I validate how you feel by some of my past experiences with this disorder. First, I have spent about 25 years getting my medications fine tuned. I hated the whole journey and many times wished to...

Thank you for your feed back Tlight and Sunnybrook. :hello: Unfortunately, I am currently without a therapist or a psychiatrist. My therapist was diagnosed with Lupis and has Muscular Dystrophy. She is going blind and can't see to drive to office, so she retired. My shrink moved to another...

Just as I'm trying to figure out how to handle some of the anxiety this condition causes, I recently found out that my only little brother is now a registered sex offender. He told my parents that he had gotten drunk back in 1994 and was babysitting two 8 year old girls and molested them. My...

Continual Trauma Over Lifetime So Far.. I remember having depression issues in my young life. This went untreated for almost 25 years. It wasn't until after I was married at 26 that I felt a need to deal with all the past trauma in a cognitive, therapy arena. I felt my husband deserved a...

Hey dylan, I have a lot of neck and shoulder tension. So much so sometimes that a massage does nothing but cause a lot of pain. I clinch my jaw when I'm stressed or uncomfortable. I get a large amount of tension headaches. I even find myself holding my breath when I'm not sure whats going...

Being Called A Liar There is nothing worse to me than to feel like I don't matter, I'm over-reacting, I was a liar... After my involved rape court case years ago, (he was let go of the charges) I completely lost my mind. I had so very little self-esteem at that time (in my mid 20's) that all I...

Pandora, How are you feeling today? Looks like you have an awful lot of support on this forum..what a good thing. Hope you are well and looking forward to life without addicting drugs in your system. I'm a recovering addict, so I understand that things can get down right crappy!! Hang on...

Welcome blufox, While reading your posts, I could hear your pain and confusion. You seem to say that you have been in survival mode for the last 4 years, and feel alone. I'm glad you found this forum and decided to reach out. That is a very big step and, with your therapy experience, you...

hey there Kev, I too have PTSD and have a history of break downs and cutting. One of the biggest triggers for my PTSD is to be told I have to find new therapists/doctors to handle my condition. I have started over so many times over the years that I truly just want to quit. My latest med...