New And Frustrated

[Peanut1120]

Hi All,

I am going to honest and admit that I am a little skeptical about the forum. My fiance suggested that I join since he joins forums for his hobbies and finds them very helpful.

I was diagnosed with PTSD 3 years ago after I was brutally attacked. I went on with life until I couldn't take feeling horrible anymore, that was about 2 months ago. Since then I have taken a leave from work, seeked therapy, did an IOP program and am active in EMDR therapy. I started feeling better a few weeks ago and then I took a turn back down.

I am frustrated because I feel like I shouldn't be consumed by what happened and I feel stuck. I want to get better and feel that I am not doing enough to get better. I tried looking for PTSD support groups in my area but there aren't any.

Can anyone who has recovered or is going through a successful recovery give any advice on how to move on? I am starting to think that I should just learn to live with this and get used to not being happy and pretend to everyone that I am. :wall:

 

[JohnnyM53]

Hiya Peanut!

Welcome to the Forum!

It's understandable that you are skeptic as to whether the Forum may be helpful for you or not.

I can easily relate to your being frustrated and wanting to move on with life.

What I have learned from my own journey was that if I still felt something was not right, it was because something was still out of whack.

I believe feeling stuck is common and, as a result, frustrating.

If you feel both stuck and frustrated, it's because, in my opinion, you are self-aware and not in denial about how you feel. Being self-aware can be painful when we know/feel/sense that something is not right inside.

This is a good sign if you ask me. To me, it's saying "hey Peanut - there's something going on here, something still unresolved. Let's try and figure it out."

I can also relate to pretending to be happy. And in the long run, I still had to find understanding and solutions as to what exactly was making me unhappy.

It can take a long time to heal, depending on the circumstances, but well worth the effort.

Sounds like you are doing much to help yourself. Don't give up. Perseverance is the answer. Keep asking questions, exploring, trying to find answers and healing.

You may want to check out meetup.com meetings in your city. They may have some sort of support meeting that you'll find helpful. You can also start a PTSD sufferers meeting group in your city if that's something that interests you.

Good luck Peanut!

Johnny

 

[Peanut1120]

Thank You

Thanks Johnny,

I appreciate your help! I know that there is something keeping me from really moving forward but I can't identify it. I wish it would come out to me and say... "Here I am!! This is what is keeping you from being happy" but it's not that easy. I will look up the website you posted.

I'll try posting questions and hope to receive answers.

Again thanks for your help!

Peanut

 

[Deleted member 541]

Hi peanut......

Welcome to the forum...You won't find a better forum on the web that deals with PTSD as this one does. We are frank, open, and not into sympathy.

Having a setback can and is frustrating, but it comes with the territory of PTSD. PTSD(the beast) can and will rear it's ugly head, whenever it wants. Sometimes you can identify the real issue. Other times it may take awhile to figure out what triggered you, and then there are the times that nothing seems to be the cause......

Working on your trauma, and hopefully the EMDR will help you to be able to manage your symptoms much better. Managing is what it's all about, because PTSD isn't curable......

 

[wonderwall]

Hi

Been attacked is a difficult thing to get through.I struggle with trust issues. So I am wary of forum.
Even though I am having difficult time at moment. Thanks for reply to my post. Things do get better it takes time. As I am new Im too hoping talking to others who have been through same thing will help. Im trying to come to some acceptance that it has just taken this long . If we had a major illness maybe it would be easier to except the healing time span.

I have just been throught therapy and it kind of takes all your energy.

Maybe you need rest before you throw yourself back into work. I realised in the past a pushed myself way too much when I should have been at home healing. So go easy on yourself.

Maybe you should do something you love to do just for the time being even if once a week.

It seems in your reply to my post that you suffer from the same kind of pressure from family that you should be ok by now.

But lets face it they have no clue how hard it is.

Anyway hope you feel better soon.
Dont be too hard on yourself. I am working on that one.

:thumbs-up

 

[suzie q]

I can relate to the feelings of not trusting...

The only times I have ever been able to take a few steps forward was to trust. I really had no reason to, I just had reached the end of my rope. Amazingly, when I reached out, I almost always got a helping hand. My gut always told me no, but I learned to not listen to my gut so much. My feelings were not going to kill me or freeze me into doom.

Welcome to the Forum. My first post was not to long ago, and when I think about it, I'm glad I took that chance. It has allowed me to see all the different types of symptoms PTSD can manifest, and on-hands experience with suggestions of how to handle stress. So far, the things I have read have not hurt me in any way (my mind is OK, I think lol!)

Your experience with treatments sound right on the money! I haven't had EMDR, but would like to find someone to help with that treatment. The key to handling PTSD is to know that there is no cure, BUT there is a lot of tools that teach us how to process it and handle the symptoms. To me, that is much better than the other processes I have tried..disassociating, hiding, running, and pretending. It will not go away doing that.

Don't ever quit trying to find quality of life. There is so much to love and enjoy once you know you're not alone and not expected to pretend. There is a solution. Keep traveling that road to wellness.

 

[wonderwall]

I think not been into sympathy is a bit harsh she cat. Everyone need sympathy sometimes. As for PTSD not been curable and wouldn't say that is true and a litle bit defeatist. I would be happy to offer anyone some sympathy but I would for sure wouldn't mind some.

Wonderwall

 

[catjudo]

She Cat is not being harsh, she is merely stating some of the general principles that are at the core of what this forum is all about.

There is no room for sympathy when trying to overcome symptoms from a past trauma. You can see below what Anthony has written about this.

I want to remind members, mostly those who are new here, check sympathy at the door before coming upon this forum. Sympathy does not, will not, never has and never will be useful for helping PTSD. If you want sympathy then you want people to feel sorry for you for the trauma you have suffered, you don't actually want to get better.

If you want to get better, if you want to learn how to heal, one of the first things is to move from denial, which includes garnishing sympathy or desiring it, and moving towards facing your greatest past fears; your trauma.

Many new members arrive here daily, and you need to keep this in check if you want to get better. Sympathy only pulls you and others down to a lower place, none which is accepted or tolerated here. Please be careful as there is a fine line between sympathy and empathy, two very different matters. Empathy is given, sympathy is wanted.

If you want to view more about this you can find the thread here: [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/showthread.php?t=7255&highlight=sympathy[/DLMURL]

As far as PTSD not being curable, that is true. It is not a defeatist attitude, it is fact. To date a "cure" hasn't really been found. We are able to use different techniques to better control our symptoms. Having dealt with PTSD for so long, as you have, I'm sure you realize that symptoms wax and wane over time. Just because a person finds their self to be symptom free does not mean that they are cured.

 

[wonderwall]

Hi

Dear Catjudo.


:smile:Firstly I stand by the fact I wouldn't mind some sympathy now again. No I am not seeking it but if it is offered Im happy to accept.

In the original post it states we don't offer sympathy.
I merely thought it sounded a bit harsh.

I can assure you that I know where I am at with my trauma as I have dealt with it alone. Include having two breakdowns alone so indeed I am more than able to deal with my own problems.

Anyway you seem far to keen to put me straight. Firstly on my grammer. I dont believe grammaticaly correct perfectly punctuated writing always makes for the best writing. And now on my defence at offers of sympathy.
Surely it depends on your definition of the word. I sure don't pity anyone. You semingly follow the quoted definition by Anthony.

Isn't it a bit of a contradiction to say..... it is true that it is curable. Then ....To date a cure has not been found .

Does not mean there isn't one. Yes it is defeatist certainly don't think you should be posting this to new members. Because nobody knows all the ins and outs of PTSD. I certainly don't find it inspiring.

This is my opinion. Each to there own.:smile:

 

[catjudo]

Isn't it a bit of a contradiction to say..... it is true that it is curable. Then ....To date a cure has not been found .

Please re-read what I wrote:

As far as PTSD not being curable, that is true. It is not a defeatist attitude, it is fact. To date a "cure" hasn't really been found.

No contradiction. I said it is true that PTSD is not curable. Then I said a cure hasn't been found. If a cure hasn't been found then it is not curable. If at some point in the future a cure is found then that will change. But until such a time it is not curable.

Anyway you seem far to keen to put me straight. Firstly on my grammer. I dont believe grammaticaly correct perfectly punctuated writing always makes for the best writing. And now on my defence at offers of sympathy.
Surely it depends on your definition of the word. I sure don't pity anyone. You semingly follow the quoted definition by Anthony.

As I've stated before, don't take this as some sort of personal attack. Most new members need help acclimating to this site. I never asked for grammatical perfection but merely for you to space paragraphs so they were easier to read and to follow the forum's rules on how to properly title a thread.

As far as following Anthony's definition, it is his forum. His forum, his rules. If we want to be a part of his forum and benefit from it then we need to follow his rules.

 

[wonderwall]

Hi

If to date there is no cure. If a cure hasn't been founded. So they have been looking so there is potential.

Who says it isn't curable? I would be interested to know.

And I wasn't commenting on Anthony's rules. Merely that when I had expressed an opinion. I was using a definition dissimilar to Anthony's.

:smile:

 

[anthony]

Every scientist that has examined in depth the illness. There is no scientific or medical cure for PTSD to date, though there are plenty working towards trying to find one. Please read the PTSD information section which points you to relevant scientific and medical facts. There are leading physicians own statements and comments on this forum outlining this fact. This is not debatable, because it is currently scientific fact. Opinions are one thing, but they are not factual. This forum deals in the facts only, not misinformation.