Trying To Break Free

[RosieNorth]

Hi, tonight I would like to write a few lines just to get started. It is wonderfull to have a place like this to read about similar problems from other people who have had really bad experiences and are working hard to recover. And I hope to be able to write about my life and try to make sense of it.
Right now I've got 2 things on my mind- breaking free of an abusive husband, and dealing with some flashbacks that started a little more than a year ago and suddenly became more intense and more explicit. Now I know what the act is that I'm remembering(but I'm not sure if I should talk about it here) and the general place and time, but as to who or how often, I,m not sure. I assume it was my father or one of his friends, but don't actually remember that. There are so many things that I don't remember from my childhood and they are coming back very gradually.
11 days ago I got a court order to remove my soon to be ex-husband from our home. My lawyer said to call the police if he doesn't go, which I did yesterday. But the police officer at the station said that they could do nothing because it is a civil case, not a criminal one. So he is still here. My kids refuse to go back to the women's shelter and my lawyer says that if I leave without them I'll lose them. I would never leave without them any way. It's been months that I've been trying to break free and through lies and manipulation he's blocked my every move. Since he's realized that I might actually leave him he has been the nicest, sweetest guy in the world, nothing like the guy who has threatened to beat me up, rape me and kill me. Those first 2 items he is serious about, because he's tried them. I don't think he would kill me though but he says so many contradictory things all the time that I don't know what to believe any more. Now I should end this and finish another time when I'm alone, before he comes and reads this. Hopefully next time I'll be in a better place!

 

[goingonhope]

I just want to say Hello, :hello: and Welcome you Rosie to the Forum!

 

[pebbels]

Hi Rosie:hello:
Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear fo the predicament you are curently in. I hope it all works out for you some how:dontknow:

Looking forward to hearing more from you and i'm sure there are others here who have been in the same situation as you and can offer some form of assistance.

All the best Rosie:Hug_emoticon:

Pebs

 

[Jagged Angel]

Hi Rosie,

I am sorry to hear about the situation you're in. Please know that the forum is here to listen and support you.

I hope that you can find a way out.

 

[tryintobreathe]

Rosie,

I'm glad you found us. I left my husband who wsa VERY controlling about 4 years ago....wait, let me clarify....I kicked him out. I had 3 kids and my youngest was just a newborn. Be strong Rosie....you can do it. This is a great place for support and information. It has helped me so much....it's comforting just to know you aren't alone.

{{{hugs}}}

 

[RosieNorth]

Thankyou for your kind and caring replies and soon I would like to write more because sometimes I feel so depressed about this world, and my life.

 

[suzie q]

Hey RosieNorth!

Glad you found this forum. For me it has helped me get through some pretty panicky situations. Just having a place to tell my feelings has allowed me to process them much quicker.

Hope you find the same and please keep yourself and your children safe. It won't be long and he will HAVE to leave. Then you will be free! :occasion:

Prayers,
suzie q

 

[reallydown]

Welcome to the forum Rosie.

 

[kers]

Welcome to the forum. There is a lot of good information here to help you understand what's going on, and the people are excellent!

 

[clare]

Hi Rosie,

I know how hard it can be to find the time and privacy to write and how alone you can feel when going through a break-up. I hope you can find some support from women's organizations in your area. Maybe there's one affiliated with the shelter? They can be a great source of strength. No matter what, trust your intincts and beware of manipulation.

Thinking of you,

clare

 

[tryintobreathe]

Hi Rosie,

Just wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you. Hang in there!!

Jen

 

[RosieNorth]

Husband left a few days ago. He thought that the police were coming to take him so he left. I go from feeling relieved(I mean really really relieved)to crying and panicking and then feeling numb like a zombie robot. I have to get the locks changed. He plans to visit the kids tommorrow and has already demanded that I let him spend the night. He wants me to sign over everything in my bank accounts to him as part of a divorce deal, then asks his large friend Mohammed to call me and try to pressure me into doing this. I am a nervous wreck, but keep busy with work, my wonderfull children, starting to do volunteer work, and meeting many interesting people. There are so many things I've wanted to do but didn't because they made my soon-to-be-ex angry.