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  1. J

    Can All Men Be Provoked To Violence?

    No-no to "all men" for the same reason "all women". We are human and we all respond differently. I will concede that culture in certain areas has encouraged men to respond with violence, but we're getting better about that as a society. My husband has yelled at me once, but he has never *ever*...
  2. J

    Is it possible to pretend to have a normal life with complex ptsd/dissociation?

    There are triggers I work to avoid pretty regularly. I avoid getting groceries during normal hours (noise variations), I avoid watching certain media that I know involves situations that might trigger me, I don't stay around people who I know will set me off, I, effectively, curate my...
  3. J

    Just Curious How Many Of You All Do This?

    Many of us do. I have to step back from real life sometimes. My husband explains it that when we started dating he worried about me because I was killing myself by doing everything for all these people. I was constantly on the go, spreading myself so thin he was concerned that I would actually...
  4. J

    "...i'm Dyslexic..."

    ...whut? Seriously.. I mean it sounds like she thinks you just confessed you're a nymphomaniac. I would very much ask her what she thinks dyslexia is, because her response sounds like she thinks it's something utterly different. Saying you're dyslexic is like saying "I type slowly" or "I need...
  5. J

    Anyone else triggered by noise?

    Yup. I can't go grocery shopping during regular hours because it drives me up the wall. General crowd murmur is fine, but varying pitches make me ready to just about rage out of my skin. I expect, for me, it's because the pitch variations make it hard for me to take my surroundings into...
  6. J

    Where To Start....

    Hon, you're grieving over a parent. You're watching him as his health degrades. There is no wonder why you're feeling the way you are. When a loved one gets very ill, ages or is at rick of death, of course you feel helpless, hopeless and depressed. None of us can fight mortality. It is the one...
  7. J

    Relationship Is It A Common Cycle? Or Enough Is Enough?

    You did the right thing, definitely. I understand the stigma of meds, since I have my own, and I can (via therapy) tell when I go off them that nasty suspicious bit of me comes creeping back in. I don't want to do that to my husband. In some cases, meds *are* necessary to bring you back to who...
  8. J

    Mom Trying To Make Me Talk To Dad

    Good for you-stick to your boundaries and don't get sucked back in.
  9. J

    What Are You Grateful For Today?

    cooooooooofffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee............................
  10. J

    A Word That " Defines" You

    fractal
  11. J

    Relationship Is It A Common Cycle? Or Enough Is Enough?

    As a sufferer-I have had some really bad moments where I have gotten terribly accusatory because my hypervigilance goes crazy and I focus on things like (previously) how he seemed more happy to go to work than come home. How he would talk to me about female coworkers. About telling me he liked...
  12. J

    I Want To Do What's Best For Him. Combat Ptsd

    What do you think would happen to him if he was forced to rely only on her for support? Do you think that he would be able to find the support he needs in her, or would she continue to be as she is? Why is he choosing to confide in you and not her? Is it a valid reason? As a friend, if...
  13. J

    I Want To Do What's Best For Him. Combat Ptsd

    Okay 1-you can't "steal" a man. He's a human being not a stuffed toy. He makes his own decisions and needs to be given the agency we give adult human beings and stop treating him like a trophy in this discussion. 2-have you talked to him about your concerns? 3-if he is just a friend and you...
  14. J

    Death Ideas For When Your Pet Dies?

    My eldest furbaby is 17 now. When he's awake he's alert, but we know his vision is starting to go (not badly yet) and he's already had a (thankfully benign) tumour removed (size of a softball o.0-kudos to the vet surgeon!), BUT I worry about him. He ate something nasty (I think) a couple days...
  15. J

    Relationship Is It Ptsd?

    Casseti is right. You should seek counselling if he's willing. He may not be. Remember, you can only direct your actions. He has to want things to work on them.
  16. J

    Get Rid Of Friend Who Keeps Tolerating Npd Men In Her Life?

    The problem with the abused is that they often fall into victim patterns. It's really up to you if you want to cut her loose for this, are you up for dealing with it or not? I mean it takes a lot of investment and patience and can be nerve wracking, but you could be the hand that pulls her...
  17. J

    Wow, How Many Years Have I Been Gone?

    Oh hon, if I had known they'd said BPD I would have told you to get a second opinion. I'm sorry I didn't notice it because I've been muddled lately. One of our housemates was BPD and you are so not it. :hug: So glad stuff went better for you this time, and yes, you're dealing with CPTSD...
  18. J

    Im So Tired

    Sometimes we need to build our own fortresses. That's why I've suggested headphones. Noone can get you inside your own mind. It's a temporary solution, but that's all you really need right now. Getting back into to your headspace where they don't even exist.
  19. J

    Feel Like Re Experiencing, Again...how Many Times Can This Possibly Happen In One Lifetime??

    I am so glad everything went so well for you :hug: It's nice to find that good therapist after having so many issues with others. My family doc when I was a kid thought I was a hypochondriac when I was younger because my mother kept bringing me in every time I said I was "sick" (avoiding a test...
  20. J

    Relationship How Has Your Experiences To Your So Meeting Your Friends Been?

    As a sufferer, I look askance at anyone new coming into my life. I am-because hypervigilance is part of the package-searching to find anything that means they could be a potential threat. I can usually tuck it away but there are times I can't. I'm not military so I don't react aggressively...
  21. J

    When Is It A Good Idea To Pull Back At Work?

    If finances and healthcare are an issue, inasmuch as you can't afford to take too many less hours-I'd suggest looking into stress relieving hobbies. If you prefer something more sedentary, maybe meditation. If you'd prefer something active, maybe a contact sport. I'm afraid I'm in canada, so...
  22. J

    Mom Bringing Men Into The House(flashbacks)

    er...you can't beat a person until they get a tumour. Sorry... that part made my brain twitch. I would suggest headphones and loud music. Maybe a white noise generator like a fan or an air purifier.
  23. J

    Sufferer Faulty Wiring

    No worries. I get you. Seems like you don't have the "procrastination superpower" some of us do. Noone is the same. I only thought of it because it's a somewhat humourous way to turn something that is almost always bad so that it works for you. I'd think that removing the guilt from what...
  24. J

    Knowing The Moment You Became Hopeless From Abuse

    My sibling was returned to our home after something happened at the fosterage. I never found out why. Given that this is sibling with substance abuse issues and a criminal record, it could have been anything. I don't talk to them now mostly because they're almost always some form of incoherent...
  25. J

    Ptsd Symptom? Cyclothymia Or Dissociation Or ?!

    It does, indeed, sound like bipolar. Typically bipolar swings last for days or weeks. PTSD is usually an amalgamation of anxiety, depression, hyperawareness/hypervigilance, and a plethora of other less standard responses that vary from person to person. The first three are almost always...
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