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He said he has a right to "break down the door and break in" at any time since my mother died (he doesn't) and to expect him. I called the police to "make sure it was legal" (it's not) (but ofc the dispatcher couldn't say that bc laws) (but now they know to listen for his mayhem at least)...

Oh also my dad is trying to pull the "wow I inherited the house :v I was a very good father and the only reason you came out intelligent and successful is because of the cool way I raised you :)" thing again

She has also outlived the vet clinic's mascot cat, who was 14 (she is 15)..... My friends/siblings and I have been joking that nestle is stealing live forces to extend her life

Doing better again Turns out I forgot to take my asthma medicine yesterday, and I get suicidal about 12 hours after not taking it typically Kind of wondering if there are other meds besides that one because despite the suicidal thoughts, I'm hoping to beat depression and outlive my best...

Not sure what to say either except that I'm so tired of grief. I used to want a normal life and the more I work towards it the worse it's all gotten. Now it I don't know if it can get any worse, I wish it would. Very overwhelming and confusing and overall just bad ETA I hope you get to the...

Doing really really badly tonight

Thank you ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Much lighter without all that pesty water

I dunno, I think they still look undercooked

not sure how im going to pay my mom's bills. pretty sure I can't use her money from disability or ssi even though she got it on the 3rd, and died on the 4th. was gonna say something else but I forgot 🤔

It's just quiet. Very very quiet. Can't shake the feeling that I never stopped having a breakdown. My boss triggered me so badly in 2022, and stuff leading up to that was so spirit crushing, I just haven't had anything left. I have had undercooked little caesar's in the oven for two hours...

It is portrayed that way a lot, but I think a big reason for it isn't brainwashing as much as culture. The current modern world needs evidence to trust things. I have a scientist background. so. I just didn't see evidence that was unshakable before then, i guess. I wish they had had security...

I haven't been able to cook a single meal since my mom passed away. I thought it was because I don't like my mom's kitchen (which makes me sad because she always hated how small that kitchen was and how it has no storage space and sucks and then my dad ruined whatever positives it DID once...

Thank you ❤️ Her house feels so empty without her. It was nice seeing her friends and family at the celebration of life service. She is dearly loved I got COVID from the social gathering, so I have lots of time to rest because after I found out, I stopped visiting the family from out of...

Feeling more at peace at the moment

It was very difficult watching her do the breathing gasps of a dying person. I slept on a sleeping bag on the floor of the hospital that night. She made it to morning but she had stopped gasping. I knew it was over the night before, though, and I know that that type of breathing isn't painful or...

Got my chores done 👍 ✅

Is life supposed to feel like one disaster after another ETA: just feeling like a massive failure and I miss my mom very very much

How do you go from someone being more than half your world to just. Gone

Is how it feels

Her house is still a mess. I should have worked harder on it

Can't shake the feeling that I could have prevented this and that I wasn't kind enough and didn't do enough

Lion passed away even younger. You can just find it to be your time at any age. Children death is the worst but yeah, any age. Life is an interesting experience

I'm just so worried that her death would have been prevented if id paid better attention. This is also how my aunt felt when her wife passed away. I imagine it's common even without the presence of OCD making it worse. Just trying to remember that my mom deserved the independence she wanted and...

My OCD is bothering me significantly. Just getting through the days, though