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@EveHarrington Just an addendum, if you recall discussing how you thought my friend was being a bit cruel when he won't interact with me but is super-friendly in front of me with someone less important: I ran into him again tonight. He was a little more himself, he actually asked how I was...

Sorry, I meant to ask you, not Abstract! Quoted the wrong person. But thanks for answering, and anyone can add their two cents!

I was wondering what you meant by that--can you give an example of how a symptom exposes your trauma? Only if you feel comfortable though.... Just trying to understand what you mean. Sorry if I'm dense and this seems obvious to you...

Thank you for sharing. It really is appearing to be quite different person to person, so thanks for adding your experience. It has all been very enlightening, and helpful. I don't know what you have experienced, but it makes me sad to hear about your severe fear of people; I'm so sorry you got...

Yeah, that's kind of what I've thought...he is afraid I'll want to chat and he maybe knows he can't. (But it does feel kind of cruel, I agree!) But then I think he feels guilty about it and that's when I usually get an explanatory text. I'm sort of used to it now, when he's like that, I...

Thank you so much--this is extremely helpful. Exactly the kind of response I was hoping for. It's a bit hard for us to understand, but many of us want to. Understanding allows us to cope without developing resentment; we still want you in our lives, but it can be hard on us. But with...

Thanks for taking the time to answer my questions--I wasn't sure if anyone would bother going through them all, but that is much appreciated. I realize I won't ever fully understand, but all of this is an excellent help. I guess I didn't realize reading comprehension became an issue....thanks...

Excellent read, all very helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time. Thanks ?--he has no idea how hard I've had to work at understanding him! Made a few mistakes here and there, but all with good intentions and before I knew what was going on. It's actually been 2.5 years I've known him...

You will have redeeming qualities you're not even aware of. We are there because we want to be. I'm sorry to hear you feel guilt...we're not stupid, we care about you, even when you may not value yourself as much as we do. Are you really as bad as you tell yourself? I suspect you are not, but...

I'm aware this phenomenon is common, and I've seen a few posts from newbie supporters about this recently, so I'm pretty sure I won't be the only one who would like to better understand. I imagine it can vary from person to person, but any of your insight would be appreciated. I've recently...

Could he have been a psychopath? They can mimic emotion VERY well without feeling it. And they are very good at reading others and giving you exactly what you need.

Almost the first thing he told me when I met him was that he’s extremely private and protective of himself. (I didn’t know what he meant by the protective part at the time) He told me he doesn’t share a lot. I don’t think it’s just me. That’s just how he is. I don’t think he allows anyone to...

I've definitely been doing it with good intentions--not everything I send is like that, but the last one I sent was something we'd done together once. I've asked him to join me doing things, but it always is him who ends up initiating, which hasn't been much lately compared to in past. Yep...

My friend has PTSD. We text and email back and forth, but he has backed off a lot in recent months. I'm not sure if something is up in his life (he is very private and will not talk about anything so I don't even ask). I suspect there is. He struggles with stress and there has been a lot of it...

I think I understand what you're saying. I agree that normal is probably not the right term. (But defining what 'normal' is is also difficult. Who/what is normal?) I was just trying to explain where people who used it might have been coming from. I'm sorry you are experiencing difficulties. :(

@Freida So I've just spent several hours reading this entire 30 page thread and just wanted to add my name to the list of people who are grateful to you (and others) for your honesty and vulnerability here. You are incredible, funny, insightful, brave, wonderfully self-reflective and very...

I have a friend with probable combat PTSD and I've noticed that if I text him/email him about something that has gone wrong in my life he doesn't acknowledge it, may get a bit perturbed by it and rarely says anything like 'I'm sorry that happened to you.' For example year I got injured and...

@EveHarrington Not sure that worked either....but it is #109 on page 10.

Sorry, I wasn't sure how to respond to two people in one post. I'm still pretty new at this.

Also @EveHarrington: I'll get to my point in a second, but just as background: I mainly found this to help me be understand/be a better friend to a friend with combat PTSD, but did experience childhood trauma myself (discovered only two years ago when I realized with the help of a therapist...

Just in case you're interested...I got the chance to tell him this a few weeks ago. He did come back, there had been a bit of a misunderstanding and he thanked me afterward for stubbornly not letting him walk away without talking about it one night when I ran into him. (He generally avoids ALL...

Yes, pretty sure that's the main thing I provide him with--doing something 'normal'--usually something sporty/fun. And I really enjoy it/him. I would never get into talking about stuff with him because I am simply not qualified and could make things worse--and from what I read, talking about it...

Yep, that's exactly what I wanted clarification on. From what I've read elsewhere (outside this forum) it did very much make it sound like people lock themselves in a closet. And I kind of figured it could be more subtle or varied than that and was trying to understand. All has helped...

Was hard, but I waited as you advised. He contacted me again yesterday--twice. Was friendly. I'm presuming he'll be most comfortable if I don't ask any questions so I won't. Thanks again so much for the help. :)

I honestly don't feel like what you did was THAT terrible...if it makes you feel any better. Everyone loses their cool once in a while. You DID apologize and the response back was pretty uncalled for and you sort of blew, but I don't feel you said anything that terrible (note: I'm not...