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Told on myself

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desiderata310

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So that's it. I've so f*cked up.
On my way out the door tonight, I bumped someone while was on my bike. I was wobbling trying to get going and didn't see them.
I apologized saying "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" and as I was passing, I glanced back to check on them. At which point the person, said to me 'Watch where you're f*cking going!'
I kind of snapped and yelled back "I said I was sorry! JESUS f*ckING CHRIST"
To which he yelled back: Oh nice example. I was pissed. I was furious and I was convinced that someone would identify me.
So when I got home I sent the following text- meaning it for my therapist but sending it instead sent the recap to my BOSS:
"I've f*cked up. I was leaving accidentally bumped someone while I was on my bike, apologized and glanced back and as I did he got mad and told me to watch where the f*ck I was going and I lost it and yelled "I SAID I WAS SORRY JESUS f*ckING CHRIST MAN!" And I heard him yell at me that I was a really good example. I think it was someone who worked which means there will be hell to pay or worse it was a patron who will report me. I'm going to lose my job. I don't have any place to go as it is. I'm still in my 90 day window. "

Right now I'm ILL. I've not heard back (he sometimes doesn't get texts right away)
I cannot believe how MUCH of a f*ck up I am. I am! I am going to lose this job. This job that is really the only thing that I have right now and I TOLD ON MYSELF.

WHAT THE ACTUAL f*ck IS WRONG WITH ME?
 
You are human. :hug: I’m so sorry this happened.

Maybe your boss will see it as you taking responsibility for your mistake? If they were going to hear about it anyhow, hearing it from you might be a good thing. I’d offer to ask how to repair any damage done, make any other apologies needed. For what it’s worth, some people rather hire someone willing to own a mistake more then pretend they never make one. I hope your boss gets back to you in a positive way really soon.
 
@desiderata310 take a deep breath. I have been in your shoes and I have been on the other end getting the seemingly random text as the boss. First unless they have a written policy or a verbal policy that you have been made aware of regarding profanity, you didn't break any "rules", laws or do anything wrong (embarrassing, impolite maybe) so there is not a single reason really to terminate your employment. I would recommend contacting the boss first thing in the morning. Apologize for the misdirected text, and see how the conversation goes from there. I don't see any reason why they would let you go so I will be sending you positive thoughts and vibes all night and tomorrow. :hug::hug::hug:
 
I don't know if there are rules about it or not but I mean it's a service industry.
I'm not sure that admitting it was a misdirected text will make it easier or not.
Usually my boss winds up calling, shooting the breeze and then once someone's guard is down, addressing the real business reason he is calling in the first place. There is a chance, a tiny chance that he might not get the text at all but THAT is far too much to hope for.
God, I am just a useless piece of shit.
 
The joy of text messaging. If I were your boss, I would have read into it that you really care to keep this job. You are upset that you did something that could risk losing it. You reported it. I would then forgive it and help you if there are any repercussions. Don’t forget that they chose you for the job because they wanted you.
 
I honestly don't feel like what you did was THAT terrible...if it makes you feel any better. Everyone loses their cool once in a while. You DID apologize and the response back was pretty uncalled for and you sort of blew, but I don't feel you said anything that terrible (note: I'm not religious)--but who wouldn't? First thing you say in your text--you admitted to screwing up--everyone makes mistakes, unless your boss is a total ass, he'll realize you know you kinda lost it and feel bad about it. Is your boss a reasonable human being? I really don't think you will lose your job over this. It's a little embarrassing, but I don't think you did anything that heinous.
Good advice above to contact your boss in the morning. I'm hoping he is a reasonable person; if he has a sense of humour at all, he might even find it moderately amusing. You seem like a decent person to me--everything about your text indicates that and I don't know you; presumably he knows that. Good luck...
Try not to beat yourself up...I know it will be hard... And you are NOT a useless piece of shit.
 
So I've given it a week. I've waited for hell to reign down on me.
My boss has met with me numerous times. One time spending 4 hours in my office training me on one of the internal programs that we have to use. We've talked about so many things, had to text so many times in the last week that I am convinced he either decided to completely ignore the text, or saw but didn't remember it, or didn't see it at all.
In any case, I am still employed and I have not been disciplined.

Fact is, I've not had a day off since President's Day and I've been working long hours and trying to figure out how to do my job HERE at the same time (seriously, I've never seen so much redundancy built into a system. It BEGS of confusion, mistakes and is a poor use of my time. I digress) I know that it will "all even out in the end" but DAMN I'm tired.

Meanwhile, I've been trying to make sure that I either leave before the rush or long after it to avoid people (which, lets be fair, is just the smartest thing all round) during this three week run.

Thanks folks.
 
So that's it. I've so f*cked up.
On my way out the door tonight, I bumped someone while was on...
You were just being overly authentic. I'm surprised I haven't lost my job with the number of times I tell on myself. At work, I can't be faulted for lying! I think I hate lying so bad, I want to always make sure to err on the side of honesty....even if it bites me in the butt. I had to create a kind of "watcher" for my mouth.....LOL.....
 
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