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I'm glad you've found this site. I was sexually abused as s child too. There is great support here.

@Ladybug hugs From what you've said you do "hate" your father, but you feel guilt/fear (or something else) for that feeling so you block it. I believe the only way out is through, so one day, when your ready allow yourself your feelings. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel, they are your...

Me too. I have "evidence" etc which I remind myself of but some days I feel a nagging sense of doubt. Sometimes I wonder if it's just self protective denial.

I'm sorry your feeling so alone in this. Not sure this is useful, but according to the Internet, vitamin C increases vitamin absorption and calcium (dairy) decreases absorption. I'm sure it's not that simple, but everything helps, maybe?

Feel free to ask whatever you want to. I have no one (except my T) to share this stuff with outside of this forum.

My flashbacks are mainly in two forms. The easiest to recognise is images which are like still photographs. Most of my childhood sexual abuse memories are as like still photos and looked at from a third person perspective. Then there are the body memories, physical sensations speifically to...

As another example of how shocking that event was for you (or would have been for anyone). When my eldest was 10, they desperately wanted to be left at home alone as a kind of "grown up" thing. So after months of begging, one day I did leave my eldest alone for one hour while we walked to a...

Welcome @celticangel38 I understand the disappointment of not reporting things. Maybe it's too late legally, but there will likely be other options if you would like to pursue them, only if you want to. This sentence summarizes something important I was trying to understand/explain. Thanks so...

I think many of us has feared this at some point but what I have learnt is that any changes are slow so that we have lots of time to adapt, and the changes are not so much changes but softening of feelings. For example, I have been working on being less fearful of my children being away from...

The issue I have with saying "the basics" is that my abuse has been invalidated my whole life and given her relationship to my family I can't risk this. So, I either tell her in such a way that it shocks and apauls her, or I say nothing. As I write this, I realise I can't tell her. I value my...

It's funny (not) that so many of those physical symptoms listed above I have but have often believed that everyone has them and I'm just a hypochondriac. I think this is why I "like" vomiting as this is a clear sign that I'm not exaggerating or making it up, where as stomach cramps are more...

I had this recently with someone I will have to see regularly...she said last time I saw her that she is "going to keep hugging me until I like it"...ahhhhh. I was/am thinking about telling her the sexual abuse for 10years story. Friends have advised me that this is complete overkill and...

Sertraline is a non branded Zoloft, so it's the same thing. If it worked in the past for you, I recommend doing it again. I don't know about it hindering edmr but it seems like you need relief right now, and maybe longer term healing can be worked on later. Just my thoughts.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's so horrible to sink backwards like this. There are many members that struggle with cutting and if you want to reach out to them I'm sure they could help you with this. One thing that helped me get past my first T was to lietrally create a box and put...

And then..... I go through the process of listing all my emotional "tells" so that I can hide them (eg squirming). If I don't hide them I feel like she'll think that I'm over exaggerating.

Does one actually describe the sexual act that took place? That just seems so disgusting? My T keeps saying it's the feelings that matter not what happened but I have the feelings (body memories) of how those acts felt. It fills me with disgust to think about telling someone. I don't know if...

I'm seeing my T today and I really want to do trauma work, but I know I'll derail my session again with trivial matters. Just writing this thread makes my heart race, (I assume with fear). Any thoughts? I've been with my T for over a year and she's great but I still struggle with bringing up...

I'm really glad you are going to see a new T, I think your current one is not experienced enough in trauma work. For a sense of timelines...I have been with my current T over a year and I haven't yet been able to express feelings about my trauma. But, that's okay....she is still helping me and...

Like you, my sexual abuse ended decades ago, but it's only now that I'm in therapy. For me it's a very slow process as if I go to fast, or push too much its not good for me. Learning how to safely express anger (safely for both you and others) will take time. This is not something to rush...

I started therapy when my eldest reached one of my key abuse ages. I lived in fear of my eldest being abused, I can't even imagine how I would cope if they were. This site is a great place for support and I'm glad you have found it. I find sertraline great for anxiety, maybe it would be a...

Welcome :) Are you comfortable to share more about yourself?

Maybe ? it's useful to remind yourself that just because you're not in paid work, doesn't mean you don't "work", and that side of yourself always exists for you to draw on.

My thoughts/question in case they help. If it's a control issue, maybe it's about not releasing/relaxing those muscles? (Rather than the problem of how to clean up after). If you are still sitting on the toilet because you just urinated, can you then relax because it's "over", can you...

I get emotional flashbacks. The easiest ones to recognise for me are the fear ones. I'll be in a coffee shop and feel intense fear, but I'll look around and no one else shows any signs of something amiss. Fear makes sense given my abuse, but I don't actually remember feeling fearful in a clear...

Welcome :)