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I understand what you are saying @Eleanor, but it's hard to just cut off that part of your life when your emotions are still there. Many of my flashbacks are emotions. In many ways, the physical abuse was much easier to handle. I can somewhat justify it. They were angry. Everyone gets angry...

Hi. Welcome to the forum. I had very similar feelings about being unemployed. It took quite a while to turn my thinking around that contributing to the household does not always mean bringing in money. I still have bouts here and there of my inner critic railing at me about it. I had a bout...

Welcome @thelizardqueen. Many things that you describe here are normal reactions to trauma. Some of it depends on your actual triggers and they are different for everyone. Those you should explore with your therapist.

@rightkindofme, I don't think it's ridiculous. Most of us have been denied that kind of attention when we needed it most.

I urge you to get a different therapist. Preferably one that has trauma experience. The numbness will eventually start to become intense. The inability to cry, to have emotions will start to build up. Relief of it normally will have something to do with self-harm. It is indeed something to...

Are you in therapy?

Structured gatherings help the most. Book groups, knitting, crafting, or paint and wine, yoga. I don't do the just show up somewhere and start talking thing (bars, house parties, any kind of gathering without an activity). It's hard to do that. If you want to start small, I'd just go to a tour...

Because of your current feelings, I would try to post pone the date. At least until March. It is so normal to feel this numbness during anniversaries. Sometimes they lift pretty unceremoniously. Other times, it brings up some left over feelings to work through. I wouldn't make any decisions...

I avoided family when I couldn't stand up for myself yet. Even now, I have troubles. Guilt follows me if I can't be somewhere because I'm not in a good place. In my case, it's pretty ironic that family is wanting an explanation when it's them that caused the secondary wounding that keeps getting...

Okay, Shimmerz, hold on, because I'm going to spill. I'm adopted. Age five. I was beaten and sexually abused for one year before the adoption. Before that, I was "punished" in the normal matter in that culture. Not saying it's right, but being slapped was normal for mild offenses. Especially...

Maybe it's because his version of love isn't the same as yours. I know that it's true between me and my hubby. My love for him is like @FridayJones, where at that moment, maybe I don't feel it. Or it waivers from time to time. Or it gets replaced all together by another emotion like anger. To my...

I'm clapping over here! You go! You advocated for yourself! I hate red tape. And I'm sorry you are feeling uneasy with all of this assertiveness, but, don't turn that blame toward yourself. All of it should fall squarely on the rapist and the university. If you feel strongly about this, then...

There are so many causes of pain there that are physical ailments. (You'd be surprised how many women have varicose veins there and internally that cause pain intermittently.) I would try to figure it out that way first.....I say that, but the times I had body memories, I could not distinguish...

This new normal will take some time to get used to. I hope it does get better. I'm anxious about a few things. It almost like self sabotage. This is going well, so it can't possibly last, so I'll ruin it on my own terms. The more things I gain, (money, house, knowledge, skills, anything), the...

What a journey it is. Joeylittle said it best. It just is. I think about the most pivotal moments in my life. What if dad didn't die? What if I were adopted into another family? So many twists and turns. As a kid, you are at the mercy of other people. I found freedom as an adult. I found that...

I can totally relate. Weather and football are the main small talk conversations here. I like storms. It gives me a reason to lay low, drink coffee, cuddle in a blanket. We have 7 inches and still climbing.

When taking into account the whole population of all age groups, diabetes has more deaths than suicide. Young adults have a higher suicide rate. But that tells me something...that maybe you should hang on. I don't know how old you are. It doesn't really matter, because suicide can be completely...

I've thought this many times. I grew up in a family that was so different than I. But here I am, will a family of my own. And you know what? We are very different. Sure, it's nice to know that you're not a lone in your strangeness (and you are so not alone!), but in reality, it's easier to have...

My arms were asleep quite quickly, but I've been having issues with left hand numbness lately. It's making typing really difficult. I also had trouble breathing...so I must be doing it wrong. Maybe a smaller pillow?

INTP. Sometimes INTJ.

Leave. No, seriously. When in remission, live your life. Not through a computer or through a screen. You'll have this weird moment (or at least I did) of not wanting to write anything for coming across as too chipper. Or to talk about my family because my excitement about doing things in the...

Mmmm...I know this is nothing to joke about...but MATH is infinitely better than english! Gah! Nerds rule the world. I know a guy who is a millionaire after selling his company. He can't spell worth a crap. So many people from different countries who can't even SPEAK english are thriving with...

Two of my kids were born prior to diagnosis. I had a planned pregnancy 3 years after my diagnosis. First year after the diagnosis was tough. Then things got easier. I'm not saying that my pregnancy was a breeze. I have several posts on here describing my stress level about the upcoming birth. I...

Welcome Vinny.

It's a bumpy ride. Your recent experience resonates with me. I also came back after a long time being away from the forum. It really does feel like the rug was pulled out from beneath you. But you also know what it's like to recover. You will work to that again and maybe even better. Hugs and...