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@sun seeker That's exactly what I mean. But you can't bottle the feeling. You have to know the steps you took in order to get to that feeling. Like a recipe so you can make your cake in any kitchen.

Dude...you are taking advice that people have given you and turning that into a way to hurt yourself. That is not the intent of most people on this forum. Even the ban on you was because of people that care for your well-being and also the well-being of others on this forum. Your situation is...

Safety and stress are closely related. The more stress you feel, the less safe you feel. I think you are doing great by controlling what you can to make the stress levels lower and in turn making your environment (where ever you may be) feel more safe for you. I was one of the few that don't...

You have something special there. The hurt of losing her must be great, but the words of her last conversation with you is something to treasure. I'm so glad you had an adoptive mom that didn't try so hard to replace the birth mom. It seems she understood that you came from a different place and...

Certain meds (taken at the wrong time), caffeine, alcohol, and stress make it impossible to relax completely into sleep. Have you tried a long bed time routine? At least an hour before bed? No screens, light reading, meditation, hot shower, lotion/massage, brush teeth, listen to music, and then...

Whenever I feel safe, there is more hard processing around the corner. It makes it real hard to put my guard down. My safe place isn't a place, it's a way of being. Many things have to happen and at the right time for myself to feel completely safe. Not sure if this is a reasonable request...

You sound totally reasonable to me.

Welcome. I remember my first therapy appointment. I should have had someone drive me...because I was having trouble breathing. It's nerve wracking. But go. No matter what. Tell your therapist that you are nervous. Bring a water bottle. I wish I had one so that I could just hold something to...

Well said @scout86 !

I was surprised at my old posts too. My self confidence and perception was all screwed. It's hard to see the big picture when all you can see is a few feet ahead. But we have this great forum to see just how far we've come. :hug:

Oh money issues are very stressful. Hugs to you and your vet.

You might be right. But I can't think of anything else coming close to where my mind goes when I paint. It's similar to a trance. Time zooms by unnoticed. I make sure my kids are safely in their beds before allowing myself to be free in this way, because I won't see or hear them. Opening this...

Well, you're not alone. Many of us here have been through things no person should ever have to endure. You are welcome here. Share, read, and take what you need. Hugs if you accept.

My doctor wants me to go back to my therapist. I've been slipping a little. I could feel it come on, hence why I started to come back to the forum after a very long time. My life is constantly changing with all the kids and stuff that comes with it, but the biggest change has been my art...

Back in high school, during what I call the dark ages, I drew a lot of surrealistic drawings that troubled many people. In my cavalier attitude, I just drew what the heck I wanted. Nudes, babies, trees, limbs, eye balls, and lots of openings: drawers, doors, portals. Went to college and...

Is that the only bank you went to? Shop around. There are so many banks, credit unions, that all have different rules. Don't give up yet, Bill.

I love graphing apps. Nothing like seeing the big picture.

Hi Jim. Welcome. It is a large site. If you get triggered easily, I suggest reading some of the articles instead of personal stories. The stories here vary in all kinds of intensities and sometimes it's good to take a breather when you need one. I know that all of us had to take breathers as...

These little glimpses of the sky through the clouds is refreshing. Don't be alarmed if the clouds cover it all up again. Just know that as you heal the sky will clear more often and you will see the sun for longer periods.

I am just like this. For me, it's not really trauma related but more of an avoidance issue. I can avoid most pains to a certain degree. I'm always telling myself that this isn't so bad, whatever it is. This is a coping mechanism for me and is not really a healthy way to live. As a side note: I...

I do a weird hypnosis type thing. Controlled breathing and imagining the tension floating out of the muscles starting from the toes upward. I don't skip around either. It goes up really slowly. I allow myself to sink into the bed and imagine myself melting into the bed. When I get to my upper...

I'm on edge today. I have to plow through. I can't stand on the other side of the curtain, too afraid to get on stage. Going to a doc appointment soon too. Not exactly a fun way to spend the afternoon. It's exhausting trying to explain how I feel to someone else. Exhausting and futile.

@Nyssa, that is a great painting. Very unique use of primary colors but doesn't shout that they are. Awesome. Keep doing it!

A dry brush from almost a year ago. Trying out a new method and of course I choose an eye. I've stopped doing dry brush for oil painting. Maybe I'll share one of those that isn't identifiable? Most of my subjects are human. Happy, small girls is what I like to paint. Ironic, yes?

Some colleges have free mental health clinics. It might be a good place to start. Welcome to the forum.