Search results for query: Ritual abuse

Because this shit always seems to happen to me, I’m stuck trying to decide whether it’s my fault, as usual. The last time I was seriously assaulted, I didn’t even think anything of it. The only reason it glares in my memory is because my best friend was also assaulted. He got us both. Her...

Hi all, I've been lurking for a long time and finally decided to jump in. It's an impressive forum (thank you) and I'm glad to have found it. I'm a middle-aged survivor of childhood abuse that began as early as can I remember (I've been told there was already violence in the household before I...

I am tired of being human. I have survived nonstate torture and ritual abuse. I am sick of cleaning. I miss riding horses. I wish there wasn't music playing in every place that I go.

...it can be cruel and hard... but it's based. 3. Dark places are too familiar to scare me. I have had three friends now that are Satanic ritual abuse victims. It's an uneasy but an informed perspective to have. 4. No more father's voice... for now. He'll be back, he always is/was. 5. I...

...things I was forced not to.(not to tell anyone) I have nothing to hide now and everthing to tell. But I did stop for that reason, because I not supposed to tell. Now, I can tell. I know what certain things mean now-inverted racism, ritual abuse, other things I'd rather not know but know...

...the only way to heal from the inside out. I learned later that my father grew up in an occult household that participated in satanic ritual abuse. So it helped me to understand why he did what he did, which doesn't let him off the hook, it just lends understanding to me. I actually came to...

I would have a longer answer... But tldr that very idea purity is a real concept - unlike living a honorable life - and that wealth equals or gives automatically rise to impurity? They may be ideas / core beliefs worth challenging. ;) IME any sort of essentialism messes with minds after time...

Although my brother thought I'd be interested in an environmentally based article he sent me today about the area I spent my latter teen years in, it only served to remind me of the physical and emotional trauma that caused me to repeatedly run away from that home until I left permanently at 16...

Ive tried to write this post so many times but have always struggled , panicked and then given up. I’ve also not being able to share previously due to legal reasons . I have wanted to share as i hope it helps someone also i kind of think its an accomplishment ( that was so hard to write ... its...

Wow, joeylittle; thank you for your thoughtful response. I used to be super on-point with sleep hygiene, but with my body memories and other stuff getting worse that's gone to the wayside. When I'm about to fall asleep and my body jolts me awake, I know I won't be able to even attempt sleep...

A few thoughts... Sleep hygiene. It's importance cannot be over-stressed. The element that is hardest for people, it seems, is getting away from their screens. The rule of thumb is at least 2 hours before bed, stop using screens. During one of those two hours, find something quiet and...

@NatBird thanks for starting this thread. Very comforting to read everyone’s experiences learning about the esoteric and occult. I feel like you all would easily understand my own desire and efforts to incorporate these spiritual arts, and hearing what you all do in your practice invigorates...

Astrology -- revisit birth chart at times when trying to make sense of characteristics, trying to remind myself of innate abilities, strengths and challenges (which a chart can indicate) This as well as Myers Briggs/Human Design personality based stuff has been really useful when lost in the...

ah. And there is another factor. My father - certainly somewhat involved in childhood trauma and somewhat cantankerous- lives with us. Trying to eat when he is around is difficult for me so I find myself eating when he goes out . I am self care/disciplining to insist on better routine...

Last night I was researching dissociation and found an article written by a ritual abuse survivor about being addicted to dissociation. I'm not sure but I might have OSDD 1b. I think I don't understand fully what alters are. I think maybe I switch and don't realize it as such because "I'm...

It certainly is. I don't have active thoughts of wanting to do it anymore. But when I am around someone who is showing the signs they engage in that behavior it is very difficult to not get drawn back into wanting to be part of that again. I can relate to the "pride" you talk about when you 'did...

...applying the suggestions of the one commenter, I was able to stop. But it was the hardest ritual to stop. I now don't struggle with thoughts of needing to do it anymore but for a long while I struggled with thoughts about it. Ritual abuse is hard to overcome! Not impossible but uniquely hard.

I am very new to even trying to understand the impact that ritual abuse and what people tell me was severe, long-term sexual, physical, and emotional trauma. All of it scares me and overwhelms me and makes me want to run and hide and go back to pretending everything is perfect, fine, blissful...

I didn't put this thread into "Relationships" subforum because I feel this is a hypervigilance issue. Feel free to interpret it however you want, though :) I'm having a weird problem that I've never heard about before. For context, I have facial blindness. Not the worst case ever, but I can't...

@Tinyflame Someone's core belief could be that dishonesty in the form of lying is okay because it keeps them safe (you can see this in ritual abuse and mindcontrol victims). Lying isn't seen as bad....it is a necessity. Sure, lying is a behavior, but I think it can be a core value. It is all...

...and we had to go dumpster diving for food. We wouldn't have had to except we didn't matter as kids to her. Or as human beings. I've grown up with this person. I also know that she is a cross dressing predator. No one is implying that every narc is bad or evil. signed, a survivor or ritual...

I think I see what you are trying to say. And that is I was beaten and it was called a spanking by the man because he was hitting my bottom, but what he was doing was nowhere near harmless. And if I told an adult they would hear "spanking" not "life changing beating." However, would you still...

Round here CSA is usually a reference to Child Sexual Abuse. And there’s a huge number of us on this forum. There’s also a lot of cult and/or ritual abuse survivors here, and a smaller number of SRA (satanic ritual abuse) survivors;)

Hi Luna, I, too, had the abuse you're talking about. Satanic Ritual Abuse, correct?

A friend of mine online was a victim of satanic ritual abuse (and her brother). I have know another since then. It is quite a struggle... more so than other cults.