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  1. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    Just need to rebome my cats
  2. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    Abusive dad is trying to get into the house and I will likely have to let him at some point. Just very overwhelmed, feel like I'm doing badly by my mom because her one wish was for my dad to not be here. She doesn't mind tho, she's free of this
  3. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    Thank you 💜💜💜 I am very overwhelmed today and needed that, thank you
  4. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    Just came here to say I am doing better today. Stressed about the future ofc, especially this next month and having to decide what I'm keeping, if I can keep anything. And planning the hospital stay. Etc etc
  5. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    Thank you ❤️ 🫂 Hope you're doing okay, teasel
  6. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    Thank you @ms spock. That was so kind, it means a lot ❤️ I came back to clarify that I'm not going to end my life yet because I worried I was going to worry someone if they read that, and got really worried when I saw you had replied before I could add that, but it helped a lot to read what...
  7. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    Okay in the moment. Not sure I should address these feelings right now because in about a month I'll have nothing Edit to add: it will be a relief to not have a hoard to clean up
  8. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    I do not foresee a good future for me. I feel I have failed everyone. I won't be any use now
  9. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    The forced contact with my dad
  10. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    I was doing okay before I moved back up here
  11. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    Sorry for posting. I don't even know why I'm doing it. have to live at least long enough to rehome my animals. Have to cope for at least one more month. Then will be homeless and plan to end it from there. Friend wants me to try mental hospital first. Best bet is being put away forever, group...
  12. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    I just wanted somewhere to live that was nice. I wanted to have a family, some cats, my bird. I have nothing and I am nothing
  13. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    I feel like I owe everyone something positive. I feel like my ex is happy I'm losing everything.
  14. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    As in, I feel guilty. I wanted to be a success story but am less than nothing now, and people act upset when I post on Facebook that I want to die. I want a referral for euthanasia. I want to stop existing like this
  15. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    Am I being a baby? Am I hurting people? Do I owe a good ending to anyone when I can't achieve anything anymore?
  16. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    If you are near Tennessee and want a cat please text me at 615.559.8806
  17. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    I own my car completely but may have to give it up if I chose to live. Group home too expensive for someone making 500/mo on SSDI
  18. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    I don't think I'll have anywhere to put food. I don't think I can save a single item, not even a single bag of tortillas
  19. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    Things keep getting worse
  20. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    I wonder if I should try to save any food when I have to leave. Or if I should just abandon it
  21. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    I immediately got invited over for tea by a Vietnamese Buddhist nun after posting that message She is in the US for three months, so she's about to head back to her temple in Vietnam soon. She wants me to visit her temple one day. On disability pay it likely isn't possible, but maybe one day I...
  22. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    Thank you. Finding myself sad at useless items I will be losing. Trying group home route. Likely can't afford it if I want to keep my car. I feel I am too poor (disability won't let me make much) to ever afford another car. It will eventually break down. Idk I do not get the feeling much...
  23. littleoc

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    I need to find homes for two more cats I am freezing up a lot. Got a job maybe and it feels like the end somehow. I mean, everything keeps feeling like the end of the world. I am constantly in fight/flight/freeze. And any plan I make to keep going has to change multiple times a day. I'm...
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