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Myself and my T have had our ups and downs over the past few years since I began seeing her - I quit several times and I think I pushed her or did that push-pull so bad she wanted to drop me at times. I recently had to endure my main abuser at a family funeral and he was the same disgusting...

Apologies if this is more relevant to the dissociation/relationships forum - please move as applicable admin. But I only thought about this upon reading a related thread on this sexual assault thread.. So I'm having difficulty when reading some of the questions about sexual assault. It causes a...

Okay... So I'm not one to debate whose trauma was worse, why one person finds one event traumatic over another etc.. I've had a hard battle myself being taken seriously and getting a correct diagnosis and official recognition. But recently a friend posted a Facebook thread linking to her blog...

With my old T I couldn't speak much so wrote a lot down. The agreement was that we'd dispose of it together at the right time, or should I finish therapy early, at that point. I was also getting a sliding scale rate and felt like a charity case, so much so that my T had to talk me round...

I am over it now but I've had a few really rough weeks. I don't know how much I'm allowed to discuss here but I had recently put everything in order to end things. My therapist knew how bad things were becoming and that things were mounting and so I thought that it was worth the risk to give...

So I've previously been on zoloft but didn't manage to stick with it because I found it increased S.I. for me. Maybe I didn't give it long enough, I'm not sure. About 6 months. Was considering paxil or trying the zoloft again. My psychiatrist instead suggested mirtazapine and fluoxetine. My...

So I have been diagnosed with dissociation. In trying to wrap my head around it and actually accept it, I sought some clarification from my T recently. A few weeks ago I disclosed a lot of trauma details to her. Last week we discussed the impact that may have had. She was saying how her...

So in a recent therapy session, we were onto a difficult subject. I did my best to avoid the topic, but my T, being good at getting around me, got me to discuss some of it. I just remember feeling really exposed and literally blocking her out. I don't remember anything until I'd gotten home...

So I just had a total meltdown, outburst etc... Over what could be considered a trivial parenting matter. My almost 3yo is a very sensitive soul. Today at another child's birthday, he had a tiff over a toy which soon led to screams. I'm following an approach that I've very carefully thought...

Do you ever worry about giving too much detail / info online? Sometimes I'm paranoid that my T could read this and what I write about therapy, or details I've not yet disclosed. Call me paranoid I know but Ireland is a small place and if I give specifics someone could easily do the maths

Honestly not sure where to put this... First off, I do not suffer from paranoia other Than PTSD related hypervigilance. So last time I quit therapy was because I thought I was being followed. I mean my abusers told me they'd kill me should I ever talk. I used to cycle to therapy and on the way...

I've recently returned to therapy. But again I feel I'm slipping back into the old inability to participate. I barely manage to express myself and never bring up real issues affecting me now. I've cancelled one out of the four sessions we've had so far and find myself thinking up plausible...

I can't really answer this myself as I'm not always sure when it happens. But today my T asked me to spend the week compiling a baseline list of where I'm at with things like sleep, self-harm and dissociation. She wants to be able to use this info to measure our progress so we can see which...

I know I've drifted from the site for a while but I have been super busy with work / study / family life etc. Just wanted to update you all as you've helped me through so much before. I gave birth to my second child (another boy) at 35 weeks just over 3 weeks ago. His arrival was very...

Hope I'm posting this in the right section. I'm currently 7months pregnant with my 2nd child. I know pregnancy itself can bring on nightmares but they've now taken a shift. I am a csa survivor and was subjected to prostitution as a child also. Now I keep getting dreams of little girls being...

Lately I've been wishing I did die as a child. There were lots of times I almost did. But living with the memories and intrusive thoughts now seems even harder than actually living it. I'm not saying I want to kill myself, I just want it to stop. Basically there were times where I would...

I've been seeing a new T for about 2 months. Last week I had called to cancel because I felt we're on different pages and that she wasn't taking my concerns about therapy seriously (I only got to leave a voicemail as she was unavailable). She left a return voicemail the next day telling me...

My partner and I had a massive row yesterday. I feel like I'm under considerable stress right now and a lot of things went wrong yesterday in particular, only mounting this. I'm not good with things going wrong, plans changing, having to adapt suddenly etc. And because I've been working so much...

For those of you who've had to cut ties with your mum or even more... It's been hard but everyday I realise it's the healthier decision...

So I just got caught "shoplifting". Been feeling really crap all day - didn't sleep much last night due to intense nightmares. My partner decided it would be a good idea to get out and go shopping for a bit. I told him I'd rather stay at home but he didn't want to take our toddler alone...

I thought my therapist could and was only obligated to report an abuser if they were still considered a threat to others. But yesterday my T told me she could report them because 'they committed a crime'. Is this true? I haven't disclosed much yet and don't intend to give identifiable names...

This may seem like a ridiculous question when the answer is simply in any dictionary. But it really threw me yesterday when my T was doing a brief assessment and asked me to give a rough idea of the number of abusers I'd had. I answered with 'I don't know, it would depend on what you mean by...

For my homework this week, my T asked me to compile a log of my sleep. The 1st night, I got random 5mins here and there, then maybe half an hour to an hour. After about 3 nights of recording, I scrapped writing it down as I was getting even more paranoid and conscious about it, the more I...

I don't know if I'm posting in the correct section so admins pls move if somewhere more suitable. I've always had a feeling of never belonging, low identity and failure to fit in with my family as I child. I was the outcast and the subject of most of their abuse. And by outcast I mean, I am...

Anyone else had to have treatments for their trauma/abuse injuries? I have had to undergo a number of surgeries to treat intimate problems due to sexual abuse. And it seems like one of the more serious issues is recurring and I'll probably need to go back to the specialist and have more surgery...