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    Atavan

    My shrink have me a benzo. And tonight will be the third night I am taking it. What do you think about it?
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    I find stories of others trauma, rape, abuse and suffering soothing.

    I don't know if this is healthy, and it's only been about a year, but knowing others have suffered, the same, more, or different than me seems to sooth me. When I read about other survivors with details of their trauma, and even if they are not doing good after, it soothes me. I feel calm, and...
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    Obsessive Thinking About Trauma

    I think about my trauma so much. It was way better for a long time then I had flashback and said something of facebook after a surgery and got seriously abused by sick people the f*cks who do this with power and money use to hurt ones who may talk. Anyway, that is not important for this...
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    Anyone else cry in their office?

    I hide it when I cry in the office. I hide it very well and try very hard to, but some days I break down and cry because of PTSD. I go in the bathroom or cry at my desk. I can't help it. It is the only thing today that made the psychical pain in the back of my chest stop hurting and it hurt so...
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    Sexual Assault When strangers assault you at your home and stalk you after

    I had a large group of strangers sexually abuse me at my home as a teenager and my parents went cold about it and said their was nothing they could do. These strangers stalked me and made a sick game of it for the next 26 years. They are very wealthy and well connected like Epstein in fact I...
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    News A neat article on heart pain caused by emotional pain

    I deal with heart pain just about daily with my PTSD and I found this article on the subject. Emotional pain can cause bad chest pain like I feel all around my heart. I don't feel it in my actual heart but all around it. It hurts pretty bad sometimes. My PTSD has now taken a physical turn like...
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    Excruciating psychological pain daily, but not all day?

    I was tortured like so many on here. Mine was all psychological well most of it psychological. I find my serious flashbacks happen often where I cry as my mom puts it "I have never heard someone cry with so much despair and torment." it used to make her cry to hear me because it hurt me so bad...
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    I cant remeber much of the years 10-17 because of trauma that happened at 17?

    So when I was 17 a bunch of guys from my school let me know I had grown up with them stalking me and I did not know it. They watched me live my life. These guys spit on me in Jr. High and bullied the shit out of me. I was constantly having to hide at school back then, or almost run off the bus...
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    Flashbacks lasting for days

    I had a really bad flashback last Thursday. I came home and sobbed like it was all new again. The state of mind lasted for about a week. Obsessing over the trauma while my body went into fight or flight was impossible to stop until the flight or fight ended. I am on medication, and most of the...
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    Flash backs to bad coping skills and self harm.

    While in my last ptsd episode I got flashbacks about the drugs I did as a coping mechanism when I was young. I got just as horrified as my worst trauma. I get nightmares now about smoking pot, drinking, and the worst of them all coke/Crystal meth. I used to get ashamed of the scares on my wrist...
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    For the ladies; PMS and PTSD

    Is it my ptsd, or just that depressed, sad, and tired pms I suffer from that makes my mind cycle through the past nonstop? I started early this month, and as soon as I started I was like oh ok less sad hormones. I am not sure how to deal with this problem. Or, how to separate the feeling from...
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    Physical pain?

    Happy Holidays! I'm wondering what people do about the physical pain. In my 20's the ptsd physical pain didn't seem to affect me as much. Now that I'm 41 it's getting to me a bit. My physical pain is from being tense, and not sleeping. I'm good with my thoughts on the ptsd nights when I can't...
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    Study Cumulative trauma takes a harder toll on torture victims. "The straw that broke the camels back"

    Interesting research about how cumulative trauma increases the chances of psychosis and other mental illness for those tortured than those who can contribute their torture to collective causes. The straw that broke the camel's back....... If you couldn't take it anymore and psychologically broke...
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    News No shame in trauma reaction

    Why and how normal people go mad Great article about what can happen during torture. The shame I carried for years about losing it also contributed to my ptsd. Scientifically it wasn't all my fault.
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    Fight or flight anxiety

    I was on an anti psychotic, but it made my period stop, and I started losing my hair, so I have to get off of it. It did make me sleep 12-14 hours a night and if I didn't I'd feel bad sick all day. But, it made me emotionally numb and made everything ok. I didn't think much, and just watched one...
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    Hopeless and helpless flashbacks

    I had a really bad few days when I joined this group. Today I woke up with my ptsd pulling in my thoughts, but before it got to be a morbid reflection of the past I got out of bed. I'm my morning habitual wake up routine I still felt the pull. I did not Google things that would exacerbate the...
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    Not supposed to tell

    No one knows I'm here. No one needs to know. My life has been a cycle of learning to keep family secrets, taking the blame, and cleaning the mess. I was a mess eventually, when I couldn't escape, when the bullying was inside, and outside the home. I started to run away because my mom was drunk...
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    Flashbacks after moving

    I moved last week, and have been getting flashbacks this week. Lump in my throat, depression, intrusive memories, and thoughts of suicide have been my life the past few days. My body went into flight or fight anxiety last week a few days before I moved as the day got pushed back last minute, and...
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    Sufferer Support - Childhood Trauma & Torture

    I have had ptsd for 23 years now, probably longer from childhood traumas, but 23 years major ptsd. I'm not the only person in the world who has been tortured in their life. I recently moved with the stress of that, the holidays, and finals in school I've had flashbacks the past few days. I hope...
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