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Thanks for the supportive, helpful thoughts. You know something? If there is such a thing as an emotional stalker, I suspect my former manager is one--micro-management with an intent to do harm.

I meant to say "without or even with treatment."

I definitely know that feeling of it taking too long. I can't blame you for that feeling. Trauma, retraumatization, and complex trauma are really stubborn without treatment. But there's definite progress. I worked on mine for years without knowing I could even call my problem "trauma." I'm sorry...

Totally resonate with that. I take it you've seen the movie "The Mask You Live In." I definitely recommend it to men and women both. Thank you.

Seems you were right about the riding it out thing. :) I'm starting to feel better. Whew! Thank you.

It really bothers me that I suddenly start to feel shame out of nowhere and without notice, and that I don't even realize what it is at first. I didn't do anything wrong, and suddenly I have to spend hours feeling like I did?!!! I don't know if there's even a specific type of trigger but I...

I definitely know that cycle. Painfully slow progress is probably better than letting the cycle hit us from behind for the rest of our lives.

Thank you very much for saying that. It really does help. I definitely was flashing back emotionally, and if I say my feelings in words instead of just trying to act like I'm above it, I get a chance to see my PTSD in action. You telling me it was probably the PTSD talking is so validating...

Great idea. I actually helped clean, took my run, cried on my wife's shoulder, and feel pretty well. I have those emotional flashbacks and it's why I'm in therapy, and doing other thing's to heal this. There was a time when I would have gone and criticized my wife or created an argument to...

Yes. I just somehow managed to have all my failure buttons pushed today. In tears, and suddenly don't know what to do about it. I was supposed to finish a job application today, and then my family and I went to a rescheduled counseling meeting, I helped my daughter with Excel, but then had a...

I hope you keep that drive to be unapologetically you forever, even if it might be too hard sometimes. It's not your fault other people judge you. That comes out of their issues, I bet. Whenever you can, crank that honkey tink shit up! (Even if it's just loud enough for you to hear.)

Well, I'm trying to use every tool I can find. There are others who have gone before us who couldn't go deeper in relationships, but now can. If they can do it, we can. (I'm progressing slowly and gradually.) Just you saying you know how it feels helps me feel less alone. Thanks.:tup:

Do you have someone, like a counselor? Seriously, even a could self-help book, will give real guidance and hope. I'm reading Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving, and it's really helping me. Also, I search for CPTSD on YouTube for some support. Or, maybe better some kick-butt positive power...

I've been there big-time, abused at work, even the rush and obligation of work is a trigger for me and, I have learned, for others. @whiteraven I'm very sorry that I don't know what you can afford financially to do, or what resources you have for locating a better job. I can only say that we...

Thank you @JadesJewel. HNY

Do you have emotional, and other kinds of support, to both find a decent job and seek the justice you deserve?

I get that, with the guarding looking as arrogance. And I get the feeling inauthentic when I'm being nice (because, when it's in a state of flashback, I don't feel fully authentic about anything.) My only close friend is my wife, and I'm lucky she hasn't backed away. I've been accidentally...

I have just started to feel again. And when I can feel me and my own emotions, I can actually feel the other people around me, and it's very very rich at times. So, I agree that life is about human connection. So many theorists talk about emotional neurology as if it evolved due to survival...

I think it's somewhat similar for me, though I acknowledge my pattern may be also a little different. I actually make friends pretty much everywhere I go. In fact, I may have an insecure habit of getting people to like me. But then I don't stay in contact after a while of hanging out, or after...

. @digger and @She Cat I agree that I would not want to make the session about me, and I can see how my post looks like that's what I was saying. I probably shouldn't have asked "What do you think or feel about this?" without checking my wording before hitting "reply...". I don't think your...

I know this is not advice or empathy, but I think it's OK to say that all that scapegoating and loss was just not fair, and I definitely congratulate you on getting this far after that! I, for one, don't know how I would have kept going after that. One thing that may be of consolation is that...

I'm a foster parent with cptsd, and my wife has something. Actually we adopted the child. We are good enough parents. No one can be better than good enough. Does that help? Does that even sound believable?

I've been a T for more than a decade, and I 'm starting to think that I benefit my clients by being very, very me. I plan to start telling my clients, not what I can do for them in therapy, but I will sincerely try to do for them. Because, l can do those things very well sometimes, and can only...

Well, I just felt like I got pushed back in my shell by my wife, who was trying to help me. I didn't need help. I was feeling very sad and very alive, as opposed to numb and confused. She suddenly started suggesting bioenergetics, and wouldn't let me complete a sentence as I was trying to tell...

Thank you.