My Shame Is Not Fair.

[Jim Me]

It really bothers me that I suddenly start to feel shame out of nowhere and without notice, and that I don't even realize what it is at first. I didn't do anything wrong, and suddenly I have to spend hours feeling like I did?!!!

I don't know if there's even a specific type of trigger but I just start feeling like I am a bad person. Then I feel my memory sort of starts to fail or fade, and then like this grey film seems to go up between me and other people, and I'm tired when I may have just been energetic and happy. I feel like everybody's looking at me knowing all the mistakes I've ever made. Then I can't shake the the idea that I'm going to be left by someone, rejected, left out. I feel worthless, and discovered as being worthless by everyone.

I don't know how to describe it any better than that. But I'd like to know how to come out of it, besides just waiting to randomly feel better.

 

[Bristol]

It really bothers me that I suddenly start to feel shame out of nowhere and without notice, and that I d...

Im not sure how you beat this but i totally get what your explaining and its something i feel too, and probably most people here do. Whether grounding techniques would help but i think it might just be one of those things you just have to ride out, sorry thats not more positive!

 

[Brianjhill]

I find that dwelling on my thoughts and processing the feelings helps. The more time I spend befriending all my positive and negative thoughts by labelling them, accepting them and feeling them the less they appear. I used to be ashamed of my feelings thinking I need to be a man. I've since realised that was so unhealthy and I didn't put it there. My Dad and society did.

 

[Jim Me]

Im not sure how you beat this but i totally get what your explaining and its something i feel too,...

Seems you were right about the riding it out thing. :)
I'm starting to feel better. Whew! Thank you.

 

[Jim Me]

I find that dwelling on my thoughts and processing the feelings helps. The more time I spend befrien...

I've since realised that was so unhealthy and I didn't put it there. My Dad and society did.

Totally resonate with that. I take it you've seen the movie "The Mask You Live In." I definitely recommend it to men and women both.
Thank you.

 

[Freedomfighter]

It really bothers me that I suddenly start to feel shame out of nowhere and without notice, and that I d...

Hang in there, that is a common symptom for victims of stalking and domestic violence......... a predator loves to devalue the life of a victim in any way he or she can........ I am sooooo used to this as predators attempt to push me into shame, while they repeatedly harass me and break the law.

I have always been astonished how someone can really make a victim feel shameful for doing absolutely nothing...... have always wondered how a predator can simply reach into the brain of a victim and make them feel guilty for something they never did........

I have absolutely no empathy for people who use such messed up tactics, because as soon as they start that crap I already know exactly what kind of person they really are. I have workplace people who repeatedly try to do that to me, they are as vicious as they come, and their own lives are so damn questionable, the things they do are not within moral norms, and they cheat left and right..... yet they are always there to feast on new lies about me........these people disgust me so much, I just once would like to see that vicious people like that get what they deserve...... in a way they are in their own prisons, totally locked up within their own world of hate.....

 

[Jim Me]

Hang in there, that is a common symptom for victims of stalking and domestic violence......... a...

Thanks for the supportive, helpful thoughts.

You know something? If there is such a thing as an emotional stalker, I suspect my former manager is one--micro-management with an intent to do harm.

 

[Ilandria]

Shame haunts me. As does the critical inner voice.

I grew up in violence, married into it, dated in it. My un-shamed self is fragile.

 

[Tinyflame]

My un-shamed self is fragile.

Yes, really spot on wording.

 

[Jetty Island Jim]

Thanks for the supportive, helpful thoughts.

You know something? If there is such a thing as an emotion...

I've been stalked by more than one person. Yes, I totally believe there is such a thing as an emotional stalker. I think they're almost always sociopaths and narcissists. I've had three of them in my life. My best friend turned into a raging, obsessive hateful monster when I was 10 and didn't stop until I was 18. My older sister was in my head until I was 50 and I finally changed all my phone numbers and email addresses and have never answered a single, solitary response from her since (7 years now). And a coworker at my job in the 90s who thought I was really good at my job and then BAM! One day he turned STALKER on me and tried to get me fired. These people are the lion's share of the reason I have Complex-PTSD. All three of them exhibited all (or almost all) the clinical signs of being sociopaths as listed in the DSM5 psychiatric manual. I paid $160 to buy my own copy so I could study who these monsters were. They're real. They're EVERYWHERE. And if for some reason they decide to target you, they know how to get into your head and drive you nuts! I realize I'm a few months late responding to your original post, but I hope you're doing better these days. Good luck with your boss/vampire.