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I asked "Do I Open This Door?" and it was not a choice. The door opened for me. It opened quite fast, and it subsequently shattered the shoddy foundation my life was built upon at the time. I remember some of what happened to me as a child. There's still so many memories that I know are hidden...

I think there's a layer I haven't explained. I grew up in a controlling household that revolved around me having a mental illness. I was constantly hovered over and kind of that "What the f*ck is wrong with her? Fix her" child. All of that hovering seemed to almost completely stop sometime...

I understand the feeling of having trouble maintaining eye contact. You can do it! You're right, you don't have to stare at each other. Small steps until you feel like you could! And even then, you don't have to anyways. You got this!

Gift

So today, I talked about Conversion Disorder with my cousin, and she proposed that I research it and see if it fits anything. I have many people in my family who have dealt with mental health and are educated about it through experience and schooling. She informed me that my brother has told her...

The Stupid Filter: When you can't tell if it's a "you" problem. Or if the person you're talking to is just plain stupid.

Freaky Realizations I Don't Allow Yet Bijous

Maine!

About a month ago, I blocked all family on social media. I would hesitate "should I share this?" "will my mom call me right after I do?" "will it offend anyone" on, you know, my social media accounts. Right now I'm in the process of building up my social media platforms to hopefully start making...

I have a huge disconnect when it comes to how I think other people perceive me. I feel like they understand the things I understand. Because of past emotional abuse and such a strict mom with her own trauma, this is the filter, or the disconnect, that I have: I understand that when I do...

This past Saturday was my cousin's big 420, "weed's legal party" in Maine now type of thing. My brother lives with this cousin, and my mom brought up more furniture for me, and then picked me up and we went there together. I don't drink. I don't like the possibility of getting drunk. Never have...

@Link Removed I wanted him to leave so I could process the information by myself. I was telling him to go shopping or do something so I could have alone time. I tend to isolate when I'm scared, and I was scared as hell. I think he could sense that fear from a mile and a half away, because he...

@joeylittle, I think these issues are one in the same. There is a lack of ability for feasible research in comparison to signs of victims vs abusers. Victims are heavily more focused on, and it could be assumed because victims "show" more in a sense. The lack of research I feel is part of why...

And I just need a place to vent it out. Lately I've been having flashbacks. They started small, but quickly are getting worse and more frequent. I was having sex with my Fiance, and I was taken back. I felt like I was in my parent's basement. I knew the colors of the blankets, even which...

I changed my search terms, but I'm not talking about simply a frustration with not finding what I was searching for without doing that. I'm talking about the fact that it does take that little extra clarification that you're not specifically talking about the victim, rather than If I type in...

All I get is what it looks like when focusing on the victim. It takes two to tango, and not in the sense that the victim is to blame at all. It takes two to tango in the sense that in order to have a crime, there needs to be a victim and the criminal. I see nothing about how to spot signs in...

@joeylittle, I love how you explain things, because a lot of what you described is very helpful to me. I sat down for 8 hours getting evaluated in numerous ways. Before that day, I was Bipolar/Mood Disorder NOS, and 8 hours later I'm BPD/Mood Disorder NOS/ODD/ADD/Learning Disorder. My parents...

Actually, this is perfect. This is just about the same kind of thoughts my Fiance has about mental illness. At some point, when someone labels something so many different ways and so intensely, the meaning of a label starts to get lost. If someone labels something, then labels the labels within...

I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 16. Usually people are diagnosed in their early 20's. I was diagnosed by a really old, wrinkly white guy. I didn't even hear the diagnosis myself until I was 18, after a suicide attempt and my mom felt it was then necessary for me to hear it. When I heard her...

I have been going through almost the exact same thing. I started having these flashbacks, like memories and feelings, about 8 months ago. I'd have flashbacks of memories that I knew had happened. Like for example, learning about a cactus for the first time. I remember where I was, and there was...

I called a therapist, and inquired about a job or two.

Deadmau5 - Ghosts n Stuff But CL - MTBD is up next. (; (;

It's only 10:00 AM, heheh. Yesterday I made my first video of my covering a song. I feel really proud of it. Today, I'm enjoying my morning alone time.

Volwulf, I've wondered if these episodes are panic attacks. :< Jades, I'm still trying to figure out where the line is drawn from from the mental aspect, like Simon said, I get those feelings where I just zone out/go zombie mode. However, when I get the episodes that are more physical, I...

Ragdoll, I really appreciate your input. Because one of the things that I'm worried about, is that literally, I'm making this scenario up. I've had issue in the past with accusing a classmate of sexual harassment (boy, doesn't that sound familiar) and then, even further, going to obsessive...