Returning Lost Memories?

[Llith]

I have started having odd flashbacks of things I have 'forgotten', and this hasn't really happened to me before. Kinda freaking me out... lol

My childhood is kind of blurry, but I doubt that is going to change, it was just the norm when I was younger and I doubt they are going to return. But its like my brain has hidden old 'traumatic' memories to be replaced by newer traumatic memories, and now I am starting to re-remember some of the older ones.

One example: something happened when I was 17 that I have documented up until I was 19, however then a new trauma came along and I have completely forgotten it only 2 weeks ago, when it occurred in a rather vivid and horrible flashback that messed me up for about a week or so. Then last week another one turned up.

I mean I am starting to worry how many 'old' things I have forgotten? Has anyone else had this? I am starting to feel a little crazy.

 

[EmmaOwl]

I have started having odd flashbacks of things I have 'forgotten', and this hasn't really happened to me...

When I was an adolescent, I started having flashbacks to times of being a toddler. I thought I was evil and making them up, as it was a family member. (These things can occur at any age, though, I have learned - not only childhood.)
I can only say, thank goodness I was able to actually confirm what happened with the person who did this - who was a troubled adolescent at the time of those events, but became a friend and supporter for several years.

But I was concerned about havin "lost" memories, and if there are more memories that I am still blocking out. There has been so much conflicting information about the validity of "recovered" memories, this cycle of forgetting and remembering.

I compare it to my experience with a favorite book from my childhood - when I re-read it as an adult, I was surprised to find, at the very end, a sort of weird free-love commune and very very small refs to cannibalism as a transformation or whatever. (this was sci fi/ fantasy). Point is, I was kind of shocked - I hadn't remembered that part! I didn't really get it, as a kid, and so I forgot it.

Of course when it is life experiences it is far more serious than the plots of books.... I can relate to that too. It's scary. Do you have a therapist? I would strongly suggest you try to find one to help you sort out what the "crazy" feelings you describe!
The brain is a powerful thing, and will often cushion things that your conscious mind is unable to process. Perhaps they return when you are ready and better able to confront them.

That's my theory, anyway.

 

[ExitLight]

I have been going through almost the exact same thing.
I started having these flashbacks, like memories and feelings, about 8 months ago. I'd have flashbacks of memories that I knew had happened. Like for example, learning about a cactus for the first time. I remember where I was, and there was a party going on. I also remember a conversation I had with my dad. I could feel myself being there, where the furniture was placed and everything.
And then there are memories that come back where I stop and think, "Wait, is that even real? I have to be making that up. I'm just crazy." because they feel the same as the memories that I know are true, because to me they feel just as true. But I don't want to believe they are true, because they are disgusting to me.

If I were to ever ask my parents, my brother, and other people at that party, "Hey, do you remember that cactus that we used to have in the corner? I was so scared of it. It looked intimidating to me as a kid." There could be a conversation brought up. Like "Yeah I remember that." Some sort of validation.

But if I were to ever ask my brother, or dad, or neighbor, babysitter, if any of them had sex with me, or explored around with me when I was a kid, the conversation would inevitably be hard to deal with. Possibly more traumatic. And right now, I don't even know who it would be. It's a shot in the dark. I remember being on my bed, seeing the room from that point of view, the position, and what it felt like, but I do not remember the face. Everything starts to blur out from the person's chest up.

Whether or not I choose to believe some memories over others, the fact still remains.
I still experience the symptoms as an adult today, as though the memories that took place as a child... are real.

I think what you're experiencing is valid. No need to feel crazy here. Because there is a lot about the human brain itself that scientists have yet to explain. The brain is a wonderful, massive, biological computer that, in a sense, has it's own firewall. And when traumatic things happen, the fire wall can be put up. We may cope with what happens by shutting that memory off for a while. Like I've been suggested, I suggest to you, trying EMDR therapy. It's a therapy where you can let your brain replicate REM sleep/eye movements so that your brain can relax enough to let that firewall come down while able to work with a therapist that can help you cope with that rather than putting the firewall back up.

 

[Deleted member 42121]

I have reason to believe I have also "forgotten" some horrible things from decades ago... and I also have a strange tendency towards amnesia when extremely stressed even to this day... for example I once returned home from work, the next day I noticed my car was missing. I called the police and reported it stolen.. I got a ride to work the day after and my car was there. I do not recall having left work or how I got home the previous day. I was under extreme stress at that time.

Frankly though, if the "forgotten memories" are any worse than the stuff I do remember; I do not want to remember it... The memories I DO have are bad enough... and everything that is suspected just gets worse from there. Nope. No thanks. Not for me.