Search results

I guess you know how it doesn't feel brave. It is scary. It feels like any moment someone could come out and challenge you on it. I have struggled with people calling me brave and strong because it feels like I am breaking when they do and how can you be strong if you are breaking? I am glad...

So my childhood is kind of question mark for me. There are things my siblings remember that I don't. Even my younget sister seems to remember more than I do. Granted we are only 16 months apart but I would think I would remember more being older. I am certain my older sister remembers more but I...

Thank you. Not sure I know how to be gentle with myself right now. I am going to try though.

Thanks everyone! It's very hard for me to reach out. I think I have had a fear of rejection at least as far back as my teen years so I it's a bit nerve wracking meeting new people. No actually I even have that fear with family and friends I have known a long time. It is nice to be welcomed...

I would like to know but since it has been so long ago and two out of three hospitals I was at have closed. The one that is open is the county hospital but I think they might have closed their psych ward since a psychiatric hospital opened up next door. I might try though because I do want to...

Thank you and I hope you have a good evening as well. :) Okay this emoji is weirding me out and I don't know why but hopefully you get the sentiment.

I actually called it a series of unfortunate events because that just keeps popping in my head when I think of my life. Also I can be cheesy at times so it was the only thing I could think to call it.

I am not sure how to do the tag? Is it just @ and your username? I can't seem to get this quote thing down. My brain just doesn't want to learn new things lately.

Not really sure where to begin here. Do I begin at the beginning, the middle, or the present? Maybe what is in my head at the time but my head is such a mess lately. I find myself thinking of things I haven't of in a long time. Maybe a short history to start? I think I forget things that...

Thank you guys. Going to check out starting a trauma diary.

I feel like it is my only responsibilty but at the same time have gotten conflicting statements from people in the system. Like for instance I am afraid he could drink and drive with our son and have a court order that says he is not supposed to drink before and during visits. I have been told...

No I have not started a trauma diary. I did start writing a few weeks ago about all my trauma going back to when I was a kid and I got stuck. Wait is that considered a trauma diary? I start thinking about all the things and my head starts to spin and I just don't know how to continue. Things I...

Thank you. It feels lonely a lot of times dealing with this. I did send an email after my son was back with me to state what the court order says about visitation. I don't like emailing him while he has our son because I don't want to set off his anger while my son is there. He dared me to tell...

So my earliest trauma I think happened when I was five I think. There have been many traumatic events in my life so when I am trying to figure out which trauma did the most damage I am confused. I have spent a lot of my life believing it all wasn't that bad. That I had dealt with my earliest...

So I have been trying to figure out how to set a boundary for my son asking his father for things and his Dad just showing up but I hadn't quite figured it out yet. On Thursday my son's father emails me to attack me over our son's requests for food two nights this week. I responded back that...

It is so hard to know how to handle this. I worry that my son's father will win because he buys him the best stuff which I couldn't afford and even if I could I would not buy him stuff the way his Dad does. Of course if Dad starts worring about money then my son is going to hear it from Dad. He...

I am not really sure how to handle this. I know I feel like I can't win here. My son asks me today why I left Dad. I told him I don't know how to explain but then reverted to Dad's anger since this is something he knows about. He said that Dad told him I left because of a fight and he told me...

I am going to write stuff down. Things that have happened seem to pop in and out of my head recently. This weekend I remembered the day I left he was raging. My daughter who was about 12 at the time asked me to take the garbage out so she could get away from his anger. I told her yes but when...

I think I need do that and write the things out so that when I am in these situations I can have back up. It IS really hard to speak up about it. One time I remember my mind going completely blank when asked for examples of abuse I have gone through. I couldn't for the life of me pull one...

I struggle with even saying this is domestic abuse. I don't know hy but I worry that if I say that this person has abused me I am going to look like the bad person. And if it looks like I won't work with this guy I will lose my son. I want to do what's right for my son but I am so confused on...

Sometimes I can't tell if he is until he slurs his words. He doesn't stumble like others. He also mood swings but that would require being around him for an extended period. Trying to remember other things but quite honestly by the time I left him he was spending over 100 on beer a week for...

I was trying to explain how I am afraid of him picking up our kid intoxicated and how he has threatened me in the past which makes me scared around him. He has this face that triggers a lot of anxiety for me. It's scary because I know that face means he is pissed. The last time I got in a...

I am still looking for help for myself. I just really only recently been admitting to myself how badly I feel. My ex hasn't physically abused our son but he has no problem saying things to him that he shouldn't. Two weeks ago my son came home angry at me over a debit card that he can't possibly...

I haven't seen a doctor in awhile. I know I need to. A few months ago I started having painful stomach issues. I just feel like a mess right now and so confused.

My earliest memory is of coming like out of a stupor. I know I wasn't asleep but I don't know if I went inside my head or where exactly my mind was. I just remembering coming out of it as my abuser finished up with me. And then I buried that memory until I realized something very wrong had...