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My "no big deal" comment was in reference to the other thread I'd mentioned in my comment, not the one that sparked this thread and that I linked to. I think "no" is pretty cut and dry. I think when someone says no, repeatedly even, during a "sexual encounter" (unless it was previously agreed...

@Hashi, I was specifically referencing the thread that prompted this one, wherein a woman asked if she was sexually abused after having said no multiple times, but I can think of one other post that featured a woman (girl, actually) saying no to something sexual, not having her no respected, and...

Garage saling

When I first read the title of this thread, I totally thought it was asking "Should we always simply say yes because apparently no doesn't count." How many times does a person have to say no before it counts? In what way does a person have to say no before it counts? If they say no when they're...

When he says "in terms of his work," is he referring to the terms of his contract or is it merely his choice to be available that often? To me, there would be a world of difference between the two. Have you talked to him about being available to you? If so, what was his response? So he does...

@mytai, what @Echo wrote holds true of Canada too. It's an awful, awful thing: We report the crime, as we're told we should, to people who are supposed to protect and serve us, and then they seemingly find any excuse/justification in the whole world not to do their jobs. This is not on you, not...

@mytai, I am so very sorry that the police failed you again. You deserve so very much better than what you've received, and I am so very sorry. And I wish that I could offer you something more than just my words.

I wonder if you and your husband can set some boundaries around cell phone communication? Both in terms of him constantly checking his phone when you're together (designating some time for just the two of you, with no intruders - meaning the cell too) and also around being available if and when...

@bitterfight_, imagine that you were ending a relationship with anyone other than your T and look at how she's behaving. It sounds a lot like the taunts of "You'll never find anyone better than me" and "You need me" that some abusive partners spout at their leaving spouses when they feel like...

Many people do seek help/treatment, sometimes over and over again, for their suicidal ideation. Sometimes it doesn't always work. Sometimes people do all of the things they're "supposed" to and it's still not enough.

I have felt similarly before, but I do think it's important to remember that what you heard in his voice might not have been annoyance and even if it was annoyance, that annoyance isn't necessarily directed at you or a result of anything you did. He could just have been having a bad day and he...

Honestly, who lives a life that is free from selfishness? People can inflict trauma via their deaths, accidentally or intentionally, and they can inflict trauma via their lives, accidentally or intentionally. I'm not sure what people are hoping to achieve here. Asking people not to kill...

If it happened in October and the symptoms have started fading on their own, then it's probably, hopefully, not PTSD. Which is not an attempt to minimize what you went through at all. Frankly, it would be a seriously good thing. And you may always be a little nervous about police officers...

@mytai, I am so sorry that you're going through this. I can definitely understand not wanting to report to the police after all that's happened. I wonder if a domestic violence or sexual assault treatment centre could offer you some strategies on how to protect yourself when the police...

I volunteer weekly, and I've never had to have a doctor sign anything to say that I'm a healthy person able to work. I'm wondering if that might be specifically related to the kind of activity, especially if it was an overnight camp. I do think there might be other organizations you can...

@bittersweet, to be honest, after reading your post, I'm thinking your current T has some boundary issues. Imagine you were leaving any other relationship because your partner had told you they couldn't provide you with what you need/could no longer honour the commitment that they made - and...

I do sometimes suffer from a body-based/biochemical depression. I have to be very cautious and careful about not overwhelming myself because when I am overwhelmed, I get tired, and when I let myself get tired, things get dark and dangerous for me. Thankfully, I've made steady improvements with...

@sarafina - Given that I didn't know what the initials of the one group you mentioned stood for and which particular organizations you've tried, I offered you the information I had. Both services should offer you counseling. I know that the popular opinion of the board is trauma therapy matters...

@sarafina, you're in Quebec? If you are in Canada, anyway, please consider trying any of these: Mental Health Services at your local/closest large hospital. Contact them to see if you can receive an intake appointment. After an intake, you should be able to access a psychiatrist and/or a...

I'm only just beginning to process my anger, but one thing I've noticed is that I tend to internalize my anger over being mistreated in part out of a desire for control. If it was my fault, then I had the capacity to punish and fix myself and I felt less helpless.

@bitterfight_, if you feel comfortable sharing your province in a post or conversation, I *might* be able to help you track down more specific help. You can either call or email your local CMHA (http://www.cmha.ca/) and arrange an intake appointment. They'll do an assessment/review of your...

@iwillbeme, what would make you feel safe(r) right now? If you think about what safety would look and feel like for you right now, it may help to give you direction. You don't feel safe right now, and I don't blame you one bit for that. But if you know what safety would look and feel like for...

How stupid and little are the stupidest little things actually? Is it possible that while they are stupid and little, they do need to be discussed? Sometimes stupid little things do wear on a relationship, and especially so if we don't feel comfortable or safe in being proactive about talking...

What's the benefit of distracting yourself from your anger? What's wrong with your being angry at your mother? You're allowed to be angry at someone because they hurt/traumatized you. That's a pretty sane response, by my measure. So why do you feel like you have to stuff it down? Is it because...

I don't know which province you're in, but if you're in Canada, I think you should be able to access free counseling and psychiatric services through outpatient mental services at your nearest hospital. Is the mental health team via the Canadian Mental Health Association? If so, apply. Maybe...