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If you say this usually doesn't happen, I see two things that could fuel it. One, she might have fear where she almost lost you. Fear can make someone want to control. With you, I think you are angry at what happened to you and feel victimized. Also, that you live your life and you almost...

I understand what you are going through completely. That is a huge trigger for me as well. I have been doing EMDR for a very long time and what I have realized is that it usually is a memory that is very hard to emotionally handle, and it's there right in the back of your head along with fear...

Yes, that is molestation. It's more rare for women to molest than men, either that or it's least reported. My mother molested me, but it was out of spite against my dad who had did so as well. Then she started to like it. I think this form of abuse, at least for me, was harder to work...

Believe me mine is Complex..... 6 years off and on EMDR treatment

That's strange, it has worked wonders for me. I wouldn't be where I am at today without EMDR. It can be hard and challenging but the best thing I have ever done for myself. Everything I've read it's mostly positive. The government uses it on war veterans.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, (CBT) I would highly recommend one that uses EMDR. A PTSD dog, is a service dog that knows when you are triggered and will do something to ground you back.

Or go somewhere safe, lol, that does seems more convenient

Try to see this dissociation as a friend who was there to protect you when your little mind as a child didn't know what to do...... That's what it is... Your protector

Maybe you feel closer to your husband, safer. Maybe at your therapist you know you are going to have to talk about things you don't want to, maybe she represents a authority figure..... A mom, teacher etc. I disassociate selectively like that. No, it's not your fault because your body and mind...

You need to ground yourself. I hope you are seeing a therapist. The only way I would know of, if you can't do it yourself.... Is a PTSD dog.

Thank you, be proud for stepping up and doing what's right! :tup:

I know. I get these urges I wish I could cut it out of me..... Horrible I know. Sometimes it feels like a growth I can't get rid of. Like ivy crawling all over my face, lol lol lol

Hey there, know exactly how you feel. Then I hate myself because I hate myself and it's stupid to do that. Like a big circle.

I think what is the hardest for me. Is after my dad did what he did. It was caught by her. For years I was severely abused and treated as the "other women". She always did a lot of medical things to me. Then she said what was good for him was good for her and started doing inappropriate...

Thank you for your support, you have helped me so much already

I know how you feel. I have to read books on parenting to know what is normal. Sometimes I even have to watch family sitcoms to see how normal people should interact...... Pretty sad....

Hi, you sound just like me. I buried mine for 28 years until I had my son and then I had to protect him from something I couldn't really remember but knew it could cost him his life. I realized it didn't matter how many band aids I put on the very early past, at 2-7 years of age and even...

BRAVE- by Sara Bareilles Gives you strength to finally speak out

Thank you so much, I don't know why I haven't reached out sooner. I'm so tired of holding it in besides my husband and therapist, it's so foreign to other people. What's even harder is my sister 18 years older told me stuff happened to her, she was coming down to family conference to tell it...

Yes so then you feel you owe the world, to get love in return, that statement in its self is logical but it's more like if you are nice hopefully they will be nice, but not always and it doesn't always depend on you....

I know from having trust issues myself, we are always looking for the bomb to drop. For the happiness and security we thought we believed in to be shattered. She will get past it, maybe tell her that you are sorry, you were so excited to be having a new life created by you both and was going to...

I'm not for sure if this is called a negative core belief, but I think it could stem from having to always put on a good face, because someone might "know" or that someone can see right through me. That's how it is for me, and maybe too sometimes a fear of abandonment......

That is so tough, and feels unfair that you have to feel this kind of pain all over again. I'm sure the guilt is unbearable. He wanted peace and found it all the wrong way. Just remember he is safe now, and his mind isn't torturing him anymore. I pray that you get some inner peace soon, and...

Hi, I am new here. I have been coming to terms with sexual, mental and physical abuse PTSD. My PTSD really started surfacing after we had our first child. Just currently reported it to authorities but it happened over 30 years ago. Trying to take one day at a time. Nice to meet people who...