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Yes... I really do wish I could feel better instantly. My dad and step-mom were narcissistic, cold people that would tear me down every chance they had from 5 years old onward. I remember wanting to not exist at that same young age, scratching my face and body hard as I could until it bled. also...

After the 2nd time I was raped, things haven't been the same and my sense of self slips further away as time marches on. Rarely does anything seem fun, fulfilling or worthwhile. Very little motivation to get anywhere in life. My self-esteem is extremely low because I feel ugly as hell and...

Right now I have that awful feeling of being lost. I spent nearly every day with her for the past year and lived with her for about half of it, maybe even a little more. It's so hard to look at anything in the apartment without crying because I have some memory attached to it. Part of me is...

I'll do that and try to get in a bit sooner. It'd probably be good to talk to someone about all this face to face.

Thank you so much Thizette, you definitely understand what I'm going through. @Bfab : yeah, that's what we ended up deciding to do until I can move out. Basically the same rules you stated we also laid out, except we only have one bedroom so we have to trade off the bed now and then or one of...

Yeah, I've been in therapy for about 5 months. I don't see my therapist for another two weeks though. @FridayJones : I could crash at a friend's place for a week or so, but that's about it. I don't really have a family I can turn to. Edit: I'm serious, this lease is f*cky. I can't get out of it...

I'd have to keep paying rent because of the lease I signed. Tenants have to continually pay until the lease is up or someone else takes the apartment. It's a 13 month lease too, so I'd be shelling out dough for another 7 months unless she moved out and found people to take our place. As for the...

I've been with my girlfriend for a year now and have been living with her for a total of 6 months. Last night she wouldn't say a word to me, but eventually sat me down and said she isn't happy anymore because I don't want to have sex. I can tell she wants to break up, but she won't do it out of...

I understand not everyone buys into it and think like that, but it's not fun being in an environment where honesty is not the best policy.

I feel really out of place there, like I'm an alien in disguise trying to learn how humans do things on Earth. That's about the best I can describe it. As for the work itself, I only did training the first day, mostly reading handbooks and watching video clips of their propaganda that tries to...

@illusionist: I'll keep everything you said in mind. To answer your question, yes I'm in therapy. I've been going since November or December mainly to work on trauma related stuff and relationship problems. It was either start doing that or get committed to the ward against my will. @Ava...

Today is the first day of my new job and I start in a few hours. I feel so anxious that I've been throwing up, feeling physically ill in general. I walked out of my last job (retail) after having a nervous breakdown because of how poorly I was treated by customers and coworkers alike. Even had a...

Usually when I have a flashback while I'm awake I'll curl up into the fetal position, sob, shake and mutter about not wanting to be touched or how I need someone to keep me safe. If anyone touches me whiles it's happening, the flashback gets worse and I sink deeper into it. After it's over, I'm...

Looks like I'll have to wait until it happens again and hope to remember it next time or be able to write it down.

Thanks everyone! :D

Write down what you were doing, the people around you and how you were feeling along with the date/time. After a month or two of doing this, you might see some of these things are consistent. This is what helped me figure out a handful of triggers.

Today I had something weird happen that hasn't happened ever before. I was just sitting at my computer reading an article about excessive sodium consumption, then out of nowhere a short and intense memory that I had forgotten popped into my head. Whatever the memory entailed was intense, because...

I've been in a situation very similar to this and was manipulated into doing things I didn't want to do. Initially it started out as innocent curiosity in kink, but I ended up doing things I wasn't comfortable with and my boundaries were pushed, safeword often ignored. While I think kinky stuff...

I've actually had this account for a month or so, but figured I should finally introduce myself. I'm a 25 year old lady and I was diagnosed with PTSD in December shortly after starting therapy. It took my s/o months to convince me to finally go. Therapy helps somewhat, but I still feel really...