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Raven, my heart leapt a little hearing that. Like for the first time, i think i felt like i have permission to be kind to me and think kindly about myself. I dont know why, but i guess i never felt i had a right to. Maybe you are right, maybe a few kind thoughts and words a day...even if i have...

I love that analogy, Raven. It makes so much sense. And the most difficult thing for me lately,is that I have been begining to question my own motives for serving. I think because I have those rotten spots of trauma. I have been wondering, do I serve only for selfish reasons? To ease my own...

Simon, I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this yet, but the thought just occurred to me that possibly he was the cause of his girlfriends ptsd symptoms. Perhaps she realized this when she witnessed you receiving the same treatment she has recieved from him...perhaps that motivated her to...

I don't know the laws there, but I once had a person taking advantage of me like that, in Las Vegas. She ended up stealing my rental car I was in (due to a car accident) for 3 days before coming back. My x husband had helped me secure the rental with his credit card and he is much wiser than me...

He sounds kind of like me, to be honest. Comfort and safety terrifies me for some reason. It feels like false hope or inevitable, eventual defeat and suffering. I run and sabotage, before others can hurt me first. I try not to be this way, but everything in life feels like it has an expiration...

Thanks, Raven girl I have been contemplating this a lot lately. I am just begining to realize that maybe it is a huge contributor to all of my issues...perhaps why my husband gets so frustrated with my unending service to each and every "cause" that will have me. I do find fulfillment in...

I think this site will be good for you. With my sibs, I experienced severe abuse at thier hands as well, growing up. I always took it well until my adult years. Eventually, I came unglued, reminding them of all of the hurt they caused and all the sexual abuse that was happening to me outside the...

He is, by nature, a bit of a selfish ass. But he has come a really long way. I divorced him, actually, in 2008, then I got back with him in 2014, we remarried in 2015. I really do love him and he really tries hard in so many ways, but his sarcasm and negativity is just SO constant. For him it is...

Mary 1979, that is a great idea. I will send him the link to the supporters forum. Maybe that will open his eyes to the fact that playful sarcasm is not a replacement for gentle kindness. I've tried telling him to take his head out of his ass several times before...but that just falls on deaf...

Thanks Eve, I know you are correct. The frustrating part is that finding a good therapist is not simple or cheap, and often times, it just frustrates me more. I once found someone who I truly liked, but it was an hour drive from my house and $100/session. Sometimes, I really THINK I am getting...

Your father probably knows a lot more than you think. Trust him. Do not be afraid. It sounds like he really loves you and is protective of you. More than likely, he has been waiting for the time when you are ready to talk about it.

I joined, because I desperately want to stay in control of my ptsd and dissociative episodes. I am too mentally tired to talk about my past trauma, because it always feels like an endless tunnel descending deeper into Hell, with every memory I revisit. I choose to be high functioning and keep...