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That's really useful feedback @ladee, thanks!!! I've often posted stuff hoping/wanting the response of sufferers because, as useful as it it to hear the experiences of fellow supporters, sometimes there's an element of the blind leading the blind! Hearing your views from the other perspective is...

@tiredtexan - I agree! @ladee we value the insight your input gives us :)

Gosh! If that was "short and sweet", I dread to think how long the 'story time' version would have been!! (and I thought I could waffle!) Sorry, that's not a criticism, it's good to vent. And at least it was well split into paragraphs :tup: I think you need to take a few deep breaths, stand...

Ok, advice? Er, stay calm, stay strong, deep breaths. Be understanding and supportive, but be assertive. Do what's best for you, because if you're not looking after yourself, you're not helping her either in the long run. Good luck, hope it gives you some sort of clarity over the situation.

YOU haven't ruined the relationship, and you ARE strong! Keep telling yourself that, ok? Write it on the bathroom mirror, on post-it notes inside your PhD books, chant it every hour until you start believing it! You're not inadequate. This isn't your fault. It's not fair, but life will go on. My...

Oh and by the way, not sure how much reading you've done on PTSD and how clued up you are, but I found this book really helpful (by the time I was only half way through it, he'd already left me, but I carried on reading anyway because it's helped me come to terms with things, understand and...

Do you think you need counselling or therapy for yourself? Is that something you'd do? There's no shame in admitting you need the extra support, if you think that would help. By the way, never asked what the situation is with your girlfriend? Is she getting treatment/therapy? Have you heard of...

No I wouldn't call it a solid vision. An artist's impression maybe!

Oh and to answer your question: "I definitely need to recapture that, but also... I guess reconcile how I feel and what I want, how did you do this?" I don't know. I'm not really sure that I've managed to yet. It's early days. I'm just tricking myself, shutting it out. It's working, one day at a...

Ahh I like your vision for the future! I want a self-sufficient farm, full of fruit and veg and animals that don't get eaten, a view of the sea, a creative studio where I'll do art, yoga, dance and write my best-selling novels! A workshop where the disadvantaged or disillusioned can come and...

Goddddd PTSD is such an arse isn't it?!?!?!?! Here we are, 2 supporters (of many out there), decent, caring, loving people just wanting to and help and support and feel useful and appreciated..... and all our efforts are in vain. I feel like you need to be really selfish and focus on you now...

I love the way you write - your words could so easily be my own. It really is a great support to be able to release all your emotions here and feel like you're understood. The joys of the internet! The no contact thing is really tough isn't it. I've struggled. I wanted to reach out to him on...

I feel your pain so much - "how can you go from saying I'm all you want, I'm the best person you ever met, to flat out hating me" - I asked myself that question over and over. In the beginning, things were amazing, he was completely besotted, more so than I was if anything, we talked about the...

Hello @TheMinsterman I've just discovered this thread and read it in one go! So much of what you've written I can relate to. The fact you say she's not directly abusive, but is simply negative and critical: "it's like she's forgotten all the positive traits she used to love about me" - that's...

@Richie Thanks so much for the Rob Paxman contact, looks like it could be very useful (oh and I'm not sure what you meant by something I mentioned not being normal behaviour - the fact it's not normal for vets to talk about what they've seen or done in combat. Yeah, mine doesn't either. Did I...

Well, I resisted sending the message. Said happy new year to his family instead. Not had any contact with him and feel proud of my strength and willpower. But no doubt I'll weaken and will want to send him a "hope it goes ok" on the day he has his first therapy meeting in February. Or a hello on...

Hi joeylittle, thanks for your reply! Oh, I read it in a book "When Someone you love suffers with PTSD" by Claudia Zayfert. And I'm sure I saw it somewhere else too. So it just sparked my curiosity. Yes, I agree I don't know what's happening in his head, but I can only go on what he's told me...

Good, glad you're finding it helpful. Gosh that was speedy delivery, or did you find it in a shop somewhere? Shame your sufferer isn't grateful for your efforts. I have to say, mine was unwilling to show any interest when I tried to share stuff I was finding out and didn't seem grateful that I...

I wonder if I can pick everyone's brain on something I've been pondering.... My vet does NOT have any of the following symptoms: - flashbacks/nightmares - fear - hyper-vigilence He also doesn't seem to be particularly bothered/traumatised by stuff he's seen or done and can talk quite...

Oh and by the way, how much reading have you done on PTSD? Do you know what you should be doing as a supporter to help yourself cope? I've been finding the following book really helpful (you could say it's a bit late for me now my relationship's over, and maybe yours is too, but it's still...

Oh boodle - 'Cheers to us!' and a big 'up yours!' to PTSD!!! It's flippin' hard isn't it :mad: I'm home alone on New Year's Eve too. Not that it particularly bothers me, never been fussed about it. Prob won't stay up til midnight. I'm swimming in the sea at 9.30am tomorrow so don't want to be...

Don't be too hard on yourself - your feelings are your feelings, go with them. You're not a bad person for feeling unhappy. Writing the positive self talk sounds like a good idea though. And this thread might help boost your mood, like it did with me. What Are You Grateful For Today? Hang on in...

Thanks all xxx

@Newtoptsd - "the more you reach out, the more you push away" Hmmm so true, this has especially been the case for me in dealing with all this I think. So I should learn from that now and keep quiet I guess. And you're right about the lack of reply making me feel worse. Even though I know he...

@Justmehere - ah thank you for saying that. Yes, I agree with you, it could just be viewed negatively by him, as me not respecting his wishes, me not listening to what he asked. So the fact that it's a nice, well-intended message will be irrelevant. That's exactly what I fear will be the case...