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  1. J

    First Therapy Session

    I made that first step and it was hard but I feel like I may be getting somewhere. I've started my own diary on here now as I feel like I am officially on the way to recovery although it will be hard. Thank you for your advice and support x
  2. J

    First Therapy Session

    11 hours and counting! Can't sleep or eat and feel quite sick but planning on trying never the less. Wish me luck! x
  3. J

    First Therapy Session

    Thank you all for your replies and your advice. I know I need to not think too much about it and just do it. I just feel sick and start to panic when I think about even acknowledging what happened to anyone. I shake a lot when I talk about anything personal and really don't want to do that. I'm...
  4. J

    First Therapy Session

    I have finally done it. I've made myself an appointment with a therapist on Tuesday. I feel like I've made a massive step but still feel so close to backing out. I feel very scared. Really very nervous. I don't know how to do it, what to talk about - I feel I may not even be able to talk at all...
  5. J

    When You Have A Crush On Someone...

    I'm definitely with Tarot on this one. I can't believe what I have just read, things just seem to of fallen in to place a little. A connection that I have never made before. Thank you Megnut. I have also had massive issues with eye contact. Not just in sex but also just in regular conversation...
  6. J

    Sexual Assault Why Is Talking So Hard?

    Ok so it's been 5 months since I wrote this post and I have still moved no further. I couldn't go through with the process of getting into counselling as they wanted me to do a biographical questionnaire and it was just too hard for me to write what I thought was the problem or even circle...
  7. J

    Sexual Assault Bit Of Advice ..

    I've never really had any major issues with disassociation. I do go off in my own little world a lot, often when I feel uncomfortable in situations. It's only recently that after sex, the next day I cannot remember doing it. I remember being slightly uncomfortable and then after sleeping I...
  8. J

    Sexual Assault Who Was The First Person You Confided In About What Happened To You?

    I am sorry this happened. You deserved to have someone listen to you. Everyone does. The first time I confided in someone was when I was around 9, when it was still happening. I had stayed at my cousins who was of a similar age and were having a chat before bed and asked each other what our...
  9. J

    Sexual Assault What Would You Say?

    Dear A, How did you ever think it was right to do this to a defenceless child who couldn't protect themselves? Did you think this was ok? Do you feel ANY remorse for what you have done, how you treated me and for the constant pain you have forced upon me every day of my life? Do you even care...
  10. J

    Sexual Assault What Would You Say?

    Ahhh I see Brucielucy. Yes I feel I would ask the same thing, or I would want to ask. But as rainbow said I'm not sure that I would feel and of the answers given were valid. Has anyone here been able to confront their abuser and how did it work out? I'm not sure that I have the courage to do...
  11. J

    Sexual Assault What Would You Say?

    I've been thinking a lot recently about whether speaking to my abuser about what happened and why he did these things would give me some sort of closure, or whether it would in fact just make things worse. If I could just understand. Which then led me to the question 'what would I say?' Maybe...
  12. J

    Sexual Assault What Would You Say?

    If you could say any one thing to your abuser and have the courage to do so, what would it be?
  13. J

    Abandonment

    I'm sorry to hear of your stories. I feel this may be an issue for me too. I think in some way the pain of this, was worse than the abuse when I was younger. My mum left when I was 12, after years of cheating on my father. She had a form of munchausen Syndrome and made everyone think she was Ill...
  14. J

    Sexual Assault Why Is Talking So Hard?

    That's a really good question. I know that I need to do it as it seems to be something that has helped everyone a lot, but I've never really thought what I want out of it. When I really think about it I guess I am looking for some sort of resolve to help stop thinking about what happened in...
  15. J

    Sexual Assault Why Is Talking So Hard?

    Thank you for your post Muse, I do understand all the benefits and I am trying. I have emailed my local coucelling services asking for availabilities and how to go about getting started which was a big step but I still don't feel 100% confident that I can do it but I'm going to try my hardest to...
  16. J

    Sexual Assault Why Is Talking So Hard?

    Thank you for your reply Cherryblossom. I think deep down I know this and I will get there eventually. I feel I have issues with my experiences being worthy of someone counselling me. The person who did this was not all that much older than myself and at times I even remember it 'feeling nice'...
  17. J

    Sexual Assault Incest.

    I would like some advice. This feels really quite hard for me to explain. My brother sexually abused me when I was younger, what I feel I have great difficulty with is the fact that he is only 26 months older than me. This is the thing that i feel most embarrassed about disclosing as I feel I...
  18. J

    Sexual Assault Why Is Talking So Hard?

    Thank you both for the advice. I don't think I'm quite far enough to get myself to a therapist yet. I'm working on it though. Just trying to speak to my friend is a big enough hurdle at the minute. I don't want to feel like this anymore and I know what I have to do, it's just difficult as you...
  19. J

    Sexual Assault Why Is Talking So Hard?

    I haven't actively started looking cause I'm pretty worried about the whole thing. I was just going to concentrate on confiding in my friend for now and see how I get on with that but even that seems like a struggle. She has advised me that she has been in similar situations and how talking does...
  20. J

    Sexual Assault Why Is Talking So Hard?

    Thank you for your reply healingangel90. It's very difficult. I am not used to making myself vulnerable as I have worked so hard to keep everyone at arms length. I think I am also worried about what people will think of me if they find out. I do feel like I need to talk but i'm not sure how much...
  21. J

    Sexual Assault Why Is Talking So Hard?

    Ok so I was abused by my brother when I was young for about 4-5 years. There was so much upheaval in my life at that time with parents splitting, my mother being mentally ill amongst other things, I didn't enjoy what happened it was awful but this became the only constant that I had. it was...
  22. J

    Experiences With Bullying

    Yes I was also bullied at school. Around the age of 13/14, a friend of mine stayed over at my house and I had confided in her that I was being abused by my brother. She then told pretty much everyone in my school that I was sleeping with my brother and then the bullying started. Everyone thought...
  23. J

    First Post .....

    Hi everyone, This is my first real post here. I've read a lot of your posts and I'm very sorry for what a lot of you have gone through, they also made me realise I'm not alone in this. So thank you. After reading about some of your really awful experiences I can't help but feel like I really...
  24. J

    Hi There!

    I'm very new to this forum thing but I'm looking forward to meeting everyone and sharing stories and to hopefully get a bit of advice/clarity on some things. I think this may be a lot easier than talking face to face with people. Hello everyone x
  25. J

    General Deployment - I Am Stressed

    Yes thanks Kathy very proud!
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