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Thanks, @TruthSeeker , these are really great ideas! I will try them!

Thank you so much @Teamwork and @enough , your thoughts and experiences and encouragement mean so much! I'm starting to feel maybe God understands if church is so triggering for me, maybe He's not waiting to punish me for not attending but compassionate about how hard it is for me to go.

Thanks @Sideways and @Liljoey , and everyone who has replied, your thoughts and ideas have been really helpful and given me some direction!

Thanks for the support @FauxLiz

I have similar experiences. Certain seemingly random scents or sounds or touch sensations that make me super tense or I find intolerable. Many of mine are similar to yours--tags, tight clothing, smoke, most essential oils, bright sun. I can't do strobe lights though. At first I thought it...

I was groomed and sexually abused by my religious leader when I was young. I belong to a Christian faith, and I'm just now realizing or making the connection that that could be why I struggle so much with my faith and trust in Jesus and in my church. My whole adult life I've been suspicious of...

Thanks, @Ronin , those are really good ideas of workarounds I'd never thought of!

Those are good ideas, thanks @joeylittle . Thats why this board is so great because we can get ideas that we never would've come up with on our own.

Thanks for your research @VioletButterfly . It is definitely a challenge and one I've always had but am only now realizing its not something other people deal with.

Thanks, I have never heard of that, I'll look it up! Now that you mention it, I remember that from that book. So maybe this is a trauma-related problem. No, I can't really put them together in my head either. Its like I can understand things, so I can take in the information fine, but I can't...

Yes, I am really good at memorization, I do awesome on tests and exams. But it is all about putting things into my own words. Its like once the info is in my brain, its in my memory so I can personally use it but the info can't go to the language areas of my brain so I can't explain them back or...

Thanks for your thoughts, @grit , you could be right and this could be related to the PTSD and dissociation in some way.

I have difficulty repeating back instructions despite understanding them and being able to behaviorally do them/follow them. The trouble is just in using language to explain what I know and understand in my head. So I can do what I'm asked to do, but can't explain to another person what the...

Wow, you are all so amazing and insightful, I really appreciate everyone's thoughts and perspectives on this! Thank you!

Thanks for your input, @Muttly . It makes sense that CSA would add complexity to figuring out ones gender as well as DID, I'm thankful for all of you sending me these thoughts to help me look at things from a broader perspective. It also makes it confusing and complicated when different alters...

Sometimes it helps me to read up on a subject or topic I find interesting that I know other people might as well (something historical, geographical, current event, info about a musical artist), basically to prepare myself with something I can talk about with others so that even if I can't...

Thanks, @Sideways , what you said makes a lot of sense that of course its impact these aspects of our lives, and that it affects any CSA survivor. And also that everyone's sense of gender and sexuality is impacted by their life development experiences, not just trauma survivors. Those are some...

Thanks, @grit , I really appreciate you sharing your experiences and thought process because it helps me to look at my situation from new and different angles, and that helps me to be more open and flexible in my thinking. I will definitely not take it as absolute truth but use it in my efforts...

I really appreciate your thoughts @grit , I have never really thought of attraction to the same gender or sex with them as an attempt at finding your self or self-love, this is something I will need to consider about and think on, thanks for sharing these insights!

Anyone with DID or a dissociative disorder feel like they are non-binary (gender identity) because of their parts? Or feel that their sexual orientation is the way it is because of their parts? Its hard to tease things apart huh? To figure out if the chicken came before the egg, what caused...

Wow, @JadeB. , I loved your response there, its such a good point about pregnancy, I'm going to use that next time. Thank you!

Can so relate, @Wilbur Thanks for the update @Reflections , success stories are great to hear! And I appreciate the advice.

Sounds like that moment helped you get out of denial and into acceptance?

I think the only way to know for certain if its OCD or not is to consult a professional who can diagnose you. As someone who has been diagnosed with OCD for many years, since I was a kid in fact (and have no doubt that I have it), I know that sometimes it takes up hours of my day, other days I...

Yeah, for the second reason is what I'm interested in reading about. It is just a confusing thing to experience so I was wondering if there was helpful information out there.