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I should have been more clear. I am a male and was helping someone who was recovering from domestic violence and addiction issues. Some of the things I witnessed and saw made it very hard for me to be comfortable around females in a intimate setting.

I did. I choose being there for my friend over potential romantic relationships. I still worked 70 hours a week and worked on myself

For a partner/ friend and realize only thing giving your best effort did was make you miss opportunities that you can't get back

I have a controlling abusive mom and a codependent enabling dad When I was a kid I was misdiagnosed with a learning disability I never had. So take someone who has the ability to figure out neuro behavior to treat trauma and autism but was made to feel inadequate by parents , teachers and kids...

I have always had anxiety and always had OCD tendancies because was abused as a child. Because I am 29 anxiety was treated way diffrently. Also come to terms that no matter what because of who I was dealt with for parents I would have never had the child hood I needed to be happy

What you said sounds right My way of coping up until last few months was taking care of a domestic violence victim

Hard to know how much opportunities I missed makes me sad n the second chances I don't get

Yes but after this relationship it was x 10000000

She has borderline. So a lot of things felt like I saw a ghost and didn't understand. I wanted to see someone sick get help. Once I saw how treatment centers and in patient wouldn't have made the changes that they advertise or show in movies I knew nothing would have changed the situation and I...

My story is confusing. I have trauma from my ex who has a mental illness. What connected me to her realized wouldn't change anything about her

2 things happened I saw how I was still connected to trauma and detatched from it Started listening to audio books and helped me be aware of things I didn't realize

Last week the last thing connecting me to my trauma I detatched/ cut off from. I felt a weight come off my shoulders that my trauma was in the past like it should be. What confuses me is how come after I put trauma behind me I am feeling a ton of anxiety

I think the answer is she can't give me what I need. It's hard that she is a recovering addict n when I found out.

I feel awful for not understanding and knowing she was a recovering addict. It was a mistake I made. I am giving her space. I am just angry at myself for a lot of things . While I give her space I need to move on from things I am emotional/ angry about

More complicated than that. We were dating we kissed and she went for treatment. She told me she was in a depressive period and needed space. She isn't ready for a relationship which is why I don't call her my girlfriend. But because of past romantic feelings she isn't ready to hang out

I'm not trying to match stories. Everyone is different. I'm trying to figure out the best questions to ask so I can seek the right help with the right questions

Thanks. What I'm curious of is if she doesn't care or feels very guilty/ shameful Codependency is a disease which is love addiction. Difference between what we are labeling codependency vs someone who is addicted to someone

K hope this makes sense. My friend was in the abusive relationship and co dependency. But during her recovery she has treated me the way you were treated. I may have triggered her with relationship talk, but she understood why I mentioned it but uses it as a excuse not to see me. Feels like she...

K you are in a diffrent stage than her. She is learning to put herself first while still not over triggers and fears. Because she is confused she has been distant

Have you ever gone to therapy or rehab to recover or treat co depedentcy?

K. As a CD did you ever push good people away? Have you ever asked for space?

May I privately dm you? I have questions and rather have some of my comments private

So I am dealing with the recovering addict which has been frustrating

She was looking to be rescused / fixed by the narcissistic. With me in ways she was looking to be saved but was learning independce so wasn't as noticeable

No wouldn't say that. About mine