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For a lot of young people who have Autism and have been struggling with a traumatic experience or just under a lot of stress, they can develop what's called Auditory Hallucinations. An online counsellor said this to me after I said about hearing myself say something after I woke up.

@barefoot mum said if she'd known about my incidents she wouldn't have let him live with us but I didn't remember it for years including when he lived with us and just made up excuses in my head at the time and just pushed it away and decided I didn't need to ever think about it again.

I know this wasn't said about me but I made excuses at the time in my head and just didn't think about it cause I was still seeing the alien and so was the family.

I feel similar to @Givrali i feel uncomfortable with my chest and have cut it a bit and wanted to cut it off even though I didn't have a chest in one of the incidents but I didn't want my body to start looking like a w in front of the alien. I've never liked touch but I'm autistic. I wish I was...

Crying just makes my nose and mouth get blocked up and then I can't breathe properly. I don't really cry much.

Cosmology

@barefoot I was told to stay upstairs to keep me safe

@barefoot he hadn't just come out of prison, we'd been seeing him for years. I think I was 19 when he came to live with us but mum has always seen me as more vulnerable and never trusted him cause he never thought he did anything wrong. When he was in prison he wrote a letter to my two sisters...

@JadeB. I found a new forum today. I have already had so much more support and not people invalidating me.

@barefoot not all flashbacks are things you have a clear memory of. I've heard flashbacks can be false just like memories but I believe it to have happened and it was like it was happening which is what a flashback is.

@barefoot i guess I was hoping for validation. You're the only one who says the flashback is something that happened. It just happened one evening, I had been stressed for no obvious reason. I had felt really uncomfortable with down there, so I cut it. It was only a tiny bit but it started...

@Sideways i trust a sa counsellor and what they say. anyone who has been abused is a 'genuine victim' many things can be traumatic for different people. Abuse is abuse. There is no hierarchy. I would put you on ignore but you can't do that with mods.

@Chris-duck see the post I said to sideways about what my old counsellor thought and I thought about things as much before I joined this site. Talking about it doesn't make it worse people just know about it

@OliveJewel sexual abuse and sexual assault can both be one incident or multiple incidents

S is who wasn't what I thought g was the other. I just wanted support

@Sideways the counsellor I saw before was specialised in sa and autism she said me thinking a lot about things is completely normal and I'm just trying to make sense of what happened then she gave me the guide about sexual abuse that I posted a picture of here referred to me as a survivor cause...

It helps me to understand my brain as much as I can. I find it helpful overall. I'm waiting to see if my local mental health team will see me or not.

@Sideways i don't think it was cause of that discussion I haven't thought about it. I did hear of s sentence yesterday and the baby seagull was found dead today by me so I think that made things worse.

It's fine I just gave you the link cause you wondered about the specifics of the two incidents

@OliveJewel @JadeB. a counsellor I used to see gave me this after I mentioned the two incidents and flashback and some weird sexual abusive nightmares. This charity isn't where I went but she said she works there. The waiting list is a year or more. I couldn't read it at first but then I did...

I can't do groups or online cause the family would hear and video calls make me too anxious. I'm putting this next bit here instead of my diary incase I've misunderstood. I know people have their own opinion but when I saw a counsellor who specialises in sexual abuse and autism, anxiety and...

@OliveJewel still waiting to hear if the mental health service will see me or not. Apparently referrals can take a month so I might not hear anything for a while. I generally do think it's sa I just for some reason today didn't want to accept it. It's uncomfortable today. I think people here...

Was the hypervigilance comment about you or me?

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/it-wasnt-sexual-abuse.98253/ I've explained the two incidents here

G wasn't my favourite I didn't have a favourite but I've never seen him as a monster either. I don't remember him before I was 11 and I was just scared of him but still saw him cause I felt like I had to.