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    Sexual Assault My brain is trying to convince me of something that is probably false.

    Ahhh, I see what you mean now, I'm sorry for misunderstanding your initial reply. And you bring up good points, even if the dream was based in a real event, that wouldn't always mean its intentions are how I assumed. I did feel uncomfortable and a sense of discomfort when thinking about it, but...
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    Sexual Assault My brain is trying to convince me of something that is probably false.

    Thank you for all of this, I've read through it a couple times and completely agree. I have wondered if my anxiety and physical reactions to being touched around my privates could be in relation to this, since the COCSA I experienced was, to my memory, mostly oral and never involved touching...
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    Sexual Assault My brain is trying to convince me of something that is probably false.

    Unfortunately, you'd be the exception here. Most people don't have memory from before the age of 3, and even then memories before the age of 6-7 tend to be patchy and unclear. In my case, I have memory issues anyway (though mostly short term), from ADHD and the other traumatic events that are...
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    Sexual Assault My brain is trying to convince me of something that is probably false.

    Ah, I see what you mean now. Yeah, I think it could be something like that. It's definitely the most vivid and real feeling though. It's sorta on that borderline of "this feels really real but it also doesn't seem likely to be real". It's confusing, part of me is wondering if it even matters.
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    Sexual Assault My brain is trying to convince me of something that is probably false.

    I definately don't think this is the case for me assuming I'm understanding what you mean. I don't desire... that sort of thing. Though, it could be argued that I desire a "legit" reason for my emotions because of how I tend to downplay my existing traumas. Thank you. Some of what you said...
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    Sexual Assault My brain is trying to convince me of something that is probably false.

    Hello all, I wasn't really sure where to to with this one, but its a doozy, and lead to my first mental breakdown in a Wetherspoons bathroom... truly, I have become an adult. So, as stated in prior posts here, I experienced COCSA, and have experienced a plethora of issues as a result...
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    How do your memory issues play out?

    I can relate to a lot of this but also can't tell if its trauma or something else. My memory has always been trash, but it never seemed to get better, heck maybe even worse, as I aged. I think, in my case personally, its a bit of a mix of trauma and having ADHD and dyspraxia, but its hard to...
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    I think my friend sexually assaulted me, but I still want to be their friend. Am I being naïve?

    I kinda get what you mean. Not everyone will have the same reactions to potentially traumatic events as others. In this case, what happened did have an effect on me (triggered memories of past abuse, kinda set me back mentally for a while, for example) but doesn't exactly make the top 10 most...
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    One Thing That Made You Smile Today?

    Congrats! Something that made me smile today was my cat coming up to snuggle with me. I've been really ill the past few days, so her being here to be the adorable chaotic neutral demon cat she is has helped keep me entertained and comforted.
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    Childhood Is this CoCSA? Conflicting info online

    The idea of COCSA between simular aged children is complicated but it is generally agreed upon that it happens. I wrote in the thread COCSA in family about the framework outlined in Johnson and Doonan (2005) that outlines a criteria that prepubesant peer on peer abuse must meet to be considered...
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    Childhood COCSA within family

    This is incorrect, as COCSA, or peer on peer abuse, does not need a set age difference. However, when between two younger children of the same age or simular ages, specific things need to be involved. The behaviour must be: Adult sexual behaviour such as penetrative sex (oral, vaginal, or anal)...
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    I think my friend sexually assaulted me, but I still want to be their friend. Am I being naïve?

    Could you expand on what you mean by red flags? I am a pretty oblivious person when it comes to those. Deadass almost followed a man who "needed help"... apparently needed help from a young girl who didn't speak the same native language as him despite there being multiple adults and native...
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    I think my friend sexually assaulted me, but I still want to be their friend. Am I being naïve?

    This is more or less how I figured they meant it. Just doing anything to get out of the situation. Perhaps not even really acknowledging at the time how much he was upsetting me, since when drunk you don't really sit around and think "Hmm, me doing this might trigger her childhood trauma"...
  14. N

    I think my friend sexually assaulted me, but I still want to be their friend. Am I being naïve?

    To put things briefly, on the 1st of January a friend of mine (K) did something that I think dances on the line between sexual harassment and sexual assault. They've been my friend since we were in secondary, around 7-8 years now, and we've always been close. So close that I felt no issue...
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    Recent events and new years off to a rocky start.

    Hello, I came here to vent a bit. Various things have happened since I last posted here, my mother getting drunk as all hell, having an argument with me about arianna grande of all people, and pushing me into a wall and almost started hitting me (something she doesn't normally do, for those...
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    EVERY idea possible for side income on computer?

    depending on what skills you have, you could do some stuff on fiverr. I've not made much on there (about £17 per art piece) because I'm an artist on there and the market is quite saturated, but other skills I am sure you could earn a lot. Maybe worth looking into at least.
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    Doubting If Trauma “Counts” - Overcoming Self-Doubt in Validating Childhood Sexual Abuse Trauma

    I understand this sort of thing is common, but I still struggle with this particular type of doubt all the time. And I don't even know why because its driving me nuts. I constantly doubt if my CSA counts because it was child on child. It is very textbook, yet I still doubt it. I'll go into it a...
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    I served my abuser at work today.

    Thank you so much for all of this, it made me tear up a bit. I spoke to my manager a few weeks ago as I still felt paranoid he'd show up again. They made it so if I need to, I can walk away and get someone else to serve him :) As for therapy, I am not currently in therapy but I have been...
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    Death Bereavement ... ok, pet bereavement.

    You're not stupid at all for feeling the way you do. It is a natural response to a loss, and since you mentioned not losing anyone close to you up until this point, it seems like its the first time your brain has had to deal with anything like this, so the emotions are probably going to be a bit...
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    I served my abuser at work today.

    Thank you for the encouraging and kind words, they're quite reassuring :) I still haven't fully unpacked my emotions in regards to it cos something arguably worse happened literally 2 days after (lmao) but I am way less anxious about it. Having people be so kind and reassuring helps though, so...
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    Undiagnosed Hello! CSA, bullying & emotional abuse

    I'm so glad you had such good experiences with art therapy, and it makes me smile knowing that I'll hopefully be able to provide similar experiences to others. I really believe in the power of art and the effects it has on our wellbeing and emotional state :) Thank you, and same to you :D
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    Has anyone experienced slow odd involuntary movement of hands and legs? side effect of medication or due to CPTSD?

    It could be a lot of things, but I have heard sertraline can make people have jerky movements. Though, i haven't really heard of slowed movements, so perhaps it could be a dissociation thing as someone else suggested or maybe unrelated. I'd talk to a professional about it if you can, since it...
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    I served my abuser at work today.

    Scary story time! Kinda wanna just get this all out, cos I'm still shaken from it. Typing things out in more detail kinda helps me process things, and writing it like I'm writing about a fictional character in a book or something helps too, so sorry if the tone is a bit off, that'd be why. So...
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    Undiagnosed Hello! CSA, bullying & emotional abuse

    Nice to see fellow artists around :) I'm hoping to become an art therapist, myself, so I'll be working in healthcare too one day (hopefully lol). May as well combine my passions :D
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    Sexual Assault I have really disturbing unwanted thoughts about abuse and CSA

    These are incredibly common reactions towards trauma and are symptomatic of various mental illnesses. I suffer from similar thoughts to what you described, to the point I planned on killing myself out of fear I may be a nonce. Fortunately, I felt safe telling my boyfriend about my thoughts, as...
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