Other A place at the table for everyone? Churches and attendance

[Klanala]

Today I go to my so called church for the last time. My last time there another member who is a grandmother caring for 4 grandchildren because her daughter is caught in the cycle of addiction was there. The daughter had taken these 4 children away but was at our wednesday meal in some form of sobriety yet verbally abusing them. The grandmother lives in poverty and yet this church gives her some financial assistance. Everything I have learned about trauma flashed before my eyes. I told a pastor a crisis is coming here. He said one day at a time. So they can accept this. This is the last church I ever attend. This lack of critical thinking in churches has created the future for them. If they fail to understand they are enabling a bad situation I certainly cannot. I can leave. And on 3/3 I move to another area.

 

[RecoveryGuy]

Are you going to go to a different church?

 

[Klanala]

No recovery guy I am not. I pick up cognitive distortions red flags etc in churches sermons etc no matter where I go. I need to be free as so many people are finding out. I have my faith. It is enough.

 

[Klanala]

At my church service today - my final one- I learned Denise's daughter still has her grandchildren whereabouts unknown. The children's message was derived from jesus message of forgiveness except they were told to forgive people who take money and taxes from them unjustly. Wrong scriptural interpretation when data analytics allows theft by government. The sermons message included god always protecting us. No- not without proper action. And we are to take up our cross and bear it. I had to leave the sanctuary. A man I had never seen spoke the sermon. I am sorry if anyone is triggered by this. I will not return to this or any church after my move. I dont need any additional trauma.

 

[Ronin]

I'm a little unclear on what kind of core belief or cognitive distortion are you seeking help with, here?

 

[Klanala]

The core beliefs are victimization powerlessness not obtaining knowledge and being grounded in reality codependency enabling etc. Not being willing to change in order to achieve a better outcome. I do not accept anything like this. But I work on it. I see it over and over. It is sometimes heartbreaking to me.

 

[joeylittle]

@Klanala - have you been diagnosed with PTSD?

 

[Klanala]

Yes I used the word never going back to a church again. A service a group etc. After 59 years I need to recognize they are a trigger a place I pick up cognitive distortions get encouraged to be drawn in to codependent situations etc. A place I could be easily overwhelmed and then set up to fail. I work have a dog friends a relationship. I need to process the situation at the church that I used for post traumatic growth for myself carefully because it really is a tragedy for the woman the 4 children and the addicted daughter.