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After 5 Months Together, This Is What It's Come Down To.

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tphillips117

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Hi everyone. I need your help once again. After a rocky road with my therapist, I've come up with some questions to ask him at our next session. Do these seem reasonable to you? Confrontational? Likely to cause a rift in the therapeutic relationship? Should I expect direct responses back? Any other suggestions?

This is my attempt to save this. I'm stubborn and don't want to give up. I really don't want to change therapists, but this guy seems to make a habit of making me feel like he's never seen the likes of me before and I already feel like a freak. Thanks guys!


Dr. M-- Session 6/13/12

1. 5 minute warning before session ends. You keep track or me?

2. The way the last session ended--no warning and left disoriented. Felt rejection at best, abandonment at worst.

3. Worked with anyone like me before? Similar story? Similar symptoms? What was the outcome in your opinion? What kind of treatment did they receive? Will that treatment work for me?

4. Sometimes you look as lost as I am. Are you? I need a captain. I don't have the insight to lead myself into the direction I need to go. I need help. I cant do this on my own. Can you help me?

5. I need feedback! Am I normal? Are these symptoms typical for someone like me? What is wrong with me in your opinion? What is your working assessment of me?

6. I need someone who is very direct. If you ask me questions, I will answer them honestly, but I'm not good as being forthcoming without being asked. Be harder on me--I can take it!

7. What's next for us?
 
1. Definitely!!! Need to get that cleared up ASAP
2. Again, good concise explanation pf why you want the 5 minute warning. If your T finds this unworkable or whatever, then I'd seriously doubt going back.
3. I've wanted to ask my T this...I'm in a different counselling system to most people here as it's for young people specifically, not trauma. I've wondered but never dared say it. Not sure how much use it would be, or how much feedback you'd get about other clients. Although, I think you need to know where he's hoping you're going to end up.
4 and 6. Yeah, go for it! That's what you need and you're not getting it, so until you know his reply to this then what's the point?
5. IMHO, better way of approaching the concerns raised in Q3. More relevant to you...although you are 'normal' in my eyes for someone struggling with trauma ;)
7. Most important question, although I wouldn't mind betting he'll flip the question around to you and say...'where do you want us to go?' or something like that. So, I'd bear that in mind.

I'm glad you're taking control of the situation, therapy is for you, not the therapist, it's vital you're comfortable. One of the biggest things I've learnt being here is being able to clear issues up with a T, it's no use turning up to suffer in silence. Good luck!
 
Thanks, Gizmo. I will be back on Wed, to give everyone an update. I also revised my question list to include more feeling (like "I" statements). Still look good to you?

Dr. M-- Session 6/13/12

1. 5 minute warning before session ends. You keep track or me?

2. The way the last session ended--no warning and I left disoriented and I felt rejection at best, abandonment at worst.

3. At times, I feel as if I'm a more difficult or complex client than you have worked with in the past; I need more reassurance that you do have the experience to work with me to a successful outcome. Can you tell me more about your clinical experience with people who have similar symptoms and history as mine?

4. Sometimes you look as lost as I am. Are you? I need a captain. I don't have the insight to lead myself into the direction I need to go. I need help. I can't do this on my own. Can you help me?

5. I need more interaction with you in session. I need to hear your professional opinions and direction. I also need your encouragement. I need to hear when you believe that I am gaining insight and making progress.

6. What is your clinical assessment of me? How do you think we are doing thus far? Do you believe there is a reason for me to stay hopeful about having a better future?

7. I need someone who is very direct. If you ask me questions, I will answer them honestly, but I'm not good as being forthcoming without being asked. Be harder on me--I can take it!

8. What's next for us? Do you want to continue treating me? I know that this is my decision, but I need to feel like you want me to be here, and right now, I don't feel that way.

You guys are the best!!! Seriously, it's so awesome to be able to post on here and get feedback from people who are as crazy as I am! Thank you--I sincerely mean that!!! :)
 
I admire your courage. I can't picture myself as ever being strong enough to ask for what I want. You are doing a fantastic job of working hard for yourself. You are valuable, you deserve it. You are making the choice to do the healthy thing--the difficult thing. Good for you!!
 
tphillips117 said:
3. Worked with anyone like me before? Similar story? Similar symptoms? What was the outcome in your opinion? What kind of treatment did they receive? Will that treatment work for me?

4. Sometimes you look as lost as I am. Are you? I need a captain. I don't have the insight to lead myself into the direction I need to go. I need help. I cant do this on my own. Can you help me?
Click to expand...

I think the answers to these two questions are vitally important to the success of therapy with him. I can't remember how it has been said on this site before exactly, but trauma therapy is not like other therapy. It is a necessity to have someone knowledgeable and experienced for successful trauma therapy. If he is as lost as you are, therapy with him will likely not have the outcome you are hoping for.
 
Piratelady: I totally agree. I'm making sure that those questions are answered before my time is up. Tomorrow will tell a lot, but don't let these questions fool you--I am TERRIFIED to ask them. I've not been able to eat all day--just thinking about tomorrow is giving me intense anxiety and I'm feeling sick. But I know that this HAS to be done. I can't continue with a therapist who puts my emotional well being on the back burner to anything. It'll either work out or it won't. I prepared either way (I think).

Noah: Thank you, and I hope so too. I'm going to get right down to business and not let him spend to long on any one question. We'll move things right along! ;)
 
Hi tphillips, I can't help but think what his reaction to all these questions will be. Just from his previous attitude I would be on alert for the worse case scenario if he takes offense to any of these questions especially one of the most important questions, #3.

If he gets aggressive be prepared to walk out.

A professional demeanor would be one of sensitivity to your concerns, and a willingness to work through all your questions to your satisfaction, with no sign of aggravation on his part.

Be strong tomorrow,

wishing you well,

solo

PS - You have a right to ask these questions and receive answers to your satisfaction. , Many people ask these type of questions up front in the first session to interview the T for compatibility and review their experience and skills.
 
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