After Almost A Year Of Living, Sleeping And Running Away From The Location Of My Trauma, I'm Moving!

[snappy_turtle]

I've been living in the same studio that my trauma happened. I have been running away from it for the first 6 months every night, and from them on every night that I did spend there in my own bed at my studio apartment, I had nightmares, restless nights, waking in fright, feeling like I had to watch my back when entering and leaving the building in case the jerk who took advantage of me showed up at my door again like he did that night. I am FINALLY getting ready to move. I found the place I would like to move to, got approval from my parents that the place is well worth it's cost and now I need to negotiate the move-in date with the owner.

I can't wait to move. It will be the very essence of "fresh start" for me and I know my anxiety levels will go down significantly since the jerk won't know where I live any more.

Pray that the details of my lease check out so I get the apartment after all, please? Or keep your fingers crossed, if thats what floats your boat. :) I know I will be.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

That sounds great! I moved a while ago and that sure helped, too :) Not everything is easy because I have more space now to really "feel what I'm feeling", but it's good, it's progress! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Good luck!

 

[snappy_turtle]

Hi Radise,
I am a little frightened that the bigger space will make me feel more alone when I'm at my lows, but I'm trying to be optimistic. Thanks for your hopes and crossed fingers. I'll be sure to keep you posted if it follows through as it should. :)

 

[WillyKat]

I used to have fantasies about burning down the barn where mine happened. But at some point in the past 40+ years, it disappeared. I don't know what happened but it would be cool to find out that some other victim of his (or of his brothers) burned it down.

I think getting away from seeing the place, hearing its sounds, its smells--everything will all be for the positive.

If you feel like it, do some research on the web about reducing your electronic footprint so that its harder to find you. It's been years since I've done that so I'm not up on the latest. But, for example, did you know you can Google the ID you use on this forum and see your posts? Change your email account so that its not your name. Ditto for Facebook or Twitter, and so on.

Don't mean to scare you, but be careful not to say anything in a forum that would give away who you are.

Enjoy the new digs!

 

[snappy_turtle]

WillyKat,
I already actively try to reduce my electronic footprint, but it's always nice to have a reminder every once in a while. Thank you :)

As for the new apartment, it didn't follow through. The place got scooped up by somebody else, and I'm just going to have to wait for another good one to come around soon, if at all. Trying not to feel hopeless over this, and reminding myself that at least in this case, things happen for a reason and it probably wasn't meant to be, to begin with. :/

 

[WillyKat]

I'm sure something will turn up. It's June and there should be lots of students moving back home.