Another Trauma (flood)

[Life_in_the_Mist]

It was very helpful for me to post on these forums about my depersonalization and anxiety over the summer, and in fact my dissociation was starting to get a little better during those months...however it snapped right back into place plus some on September 11, when the recent flooding in Colorado hit Boulder and water began to come in through my door.

In the morning I looked outside and the water was almost up to the windows. Long story short I was evacuated by police (after my neighbors and I made several ignored 911 calls) which is good because the floodwater outside was moving too fast to wade through on my own. The police told me it was the worst residential flooding they had seen.

The water was still coming in the door and I was worried I would die there. I was taken to a Red Cross shelter where I stayed for two days, then a hotel, then a rented room in a Transylvanian man's basement, and now, finally, a beautiful new apartment, luckily for me.

Everyone was amazed at how well I held up through all of this. (I have several mental health issues in addition to trauma-caused ones.) But, and I'm sure many of you know the drill, I help up so well because my depersonalization was back big time. The whole thing felt hazy, my memory was shot, etc. I still feel this way, and I think it's all starting to hit me.

I know I wrote a novel here...thanks for any replies.

 

[Abstract]

So very sorry to hear this Lifeinthemist. I understand totally.

Recently I have been battling with two concepts - dissociation as protection and dissociation as impeding life. The problem is that I think we give a totally false impression of how well we have coped. Both to others and to ourselves.

More recently I have found myself more vulnerable to the effects of the forces of nature. I too have been in some like you describe. I have no doubt I wouldn't handle something like the situation you describe well at all.

Do lots and lots of self care and take it very slow and easy.

 

[Life_in_the_Mist]

Thanks Abstract...maybe dissociation is like the immune system, essential in small doses but a disorder happens when it becomes overactive.

Do lots and lots of self care and take it very slow and easy.[/quote]

This is good advice, thank you. When you're on autopilot self-care is hard to remember.

 

[Abstract]

It is. Because if you don't exist and that body doesn't belong to you then self care doesn't matter. Except you are real and that body is yours and both you and your body need care and comfort. I hope you get it...