Beyond PTSD Introductions - Who Are You?

[Lionheart]

Thank you for this thread!!!:tup:

I am a 50 year old, divorced, grandfather, father, son and brother.:)
I live *in Kentucky where I was born and raised. *(see man of constant sorrow):roflmao: lol
I love all kinds of music and am a big Jimmy Page and Ozzy Osbourne fan, :devilish:
I enjoy photography, nature, camping and fishing, swimming, hanging out with family and friends etc.:D
I was in the 416th combat support group at a strategic air command base stationed with the United States Air Force in upstate, New York back in the 80's.:ninja:
I chose Lionheart as my screen name because everyone has told me that I have a big heart and because I have had courage and strength to fight my inner demons. A lion can make a very intense and loud roar:mad: but when all is said and done, it is really just a big pussycat, :confused:(which I basically am, unless I am totally outraged about something).:p

Also I really like emoticons. hahahaha

 

[freakofnurture]

Just two minutes ago I thought I wanted to post here. But now I realise that I currently don't have any idea what I could tell you that doesn't in some way orbit around me being traumatised, depressed and in a sucky mood.

No, wait. One thing. I like to play with my potted plants. I should post some photos one of these days. I love my plants. They never annoy me.

 

[Kintsugi]

Hey everyone,

It's not my name but I prefer to be called Simon. I'm 20, majoring in writing, graduating next semester. I lived in NJ for 17 years.

I have an insatiable sense of wanderlust. Junot Diaz puts it best in The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao: "She had a particularly Jersey malaise, a constant longing of elsewheres."

I really, really like Junot Diaz.

I love language structures of all nationalities (except when Russian writing structures are appropriated by Andrei Tarkovsky, who should not be allowed to write books) and at all levels (series, book, chapter, section, paragraph, sentence, clause levels).

Total grammar nerd. Have a question? Please ask me. I love it.

My passions next to language are math and rock climbing.

I used to be semi-fluent in Spanish and had a very good grasp on Hebrew (at least in listening to others). I'm now missing chunks of my Spanish vocabulary, so I'm not as good or quick, natural, and I usually speak Hebrew when I try to speak Spanish, though my Hebrew level has also dropped from good general understanding to light conversational Hebrew. >.<

I know about a billion random facts. Most of them have to do with animals or food.

I am fascinated by savantism and know too much about that. See also, synesthesia, particularly sub-forms.

I become easily obsessed with subjects, people, media, and activities.

I am a National Geographic and Food Network junkie when there is an available TV.

My worst addictions have been to video games, mostly MMORPGs and RPGs.

I am addicted to the New Yorker.

I love reading, my favorite genres being realism forms, mainly dirty realism.

I never had a formal education below college level.

I've been in college for 7 years.

I have a puppy named Annie whom I love very much. I also have two cats who live with my parents right now.

Family (adoptive, none of us are related, only my sister was my parent's child):
-1 sister, 14 years older than I
-2 sorry excuses for brothers, one 14 years older than I, the other 6 years older
-My parents

Family (biological)
-3 kicka*s brothers, one ~12 years my senior, one ~4 years my senior, one 2 years my senior
-1 sister, my only younger sibling, 11 months my junior
-Mother, deceased before I met her
-Father, a*shole in denial, still living, still denying, but not abusing anyone

Yep.

Oh and I write too much on forums.

 

[Muzikluvr]

I'm 40 yo and finally starting to feel like I'm not a child anymore.
I love riding my motorcycle.
I have 2 wonderful kids and a loving husband.
I have a bachelor's degree in accounting, and worked as an auditor for about a year. Hated it. Auditing government entities, and all the people would gossip about everyone else. One lady took a disliking to my secretive personality, she knew I was 'privileged' and resented me for it. She made my life hell. One guy I worked with was a really good dad... I couldn't listen to him talk about family without crying. I'd just sit there and leak tears all day. The last guy I worked with said "You're not at all what they told me you were like." I said "I know. Thanks for noticing me."

I volunteer at my kids schools sometimes - although it gives me flashbacks. I tend to be well liked by the teachers.
My daughter loves me very much.
My son is guarded but feels the same.

I used to enjoy woodworking, gardening, mountain biking, 5K races, downhill skiing, water skiing, swimming, fishing, horseback riding, camping, roller coasters. Now I have a hard time getting off the internet, turning off the tv, putting down the video game controller.

We have chickens, dogs, a cat, an aquarium of fish, and a pond full of fish. Lots of chores. But, sometimes a good reason to go outside and enjoy the day!

 

[freakofnurture]

"She had a particularly Jersey malaise, a constant longing of elsewheres."

I long for elsewho and elsewhen sometimes.

 

[Kintsugi]

My life is currently longing for an elsehow.

 

[The Albatross]

I don't use my name online... because it is very unusual... So I will stay The Albatross. I was born in San Diego and I left there at almost 19 for a tour in the USAF. I met my first husband in the service... we divorced exactly 5 years to the day we were married, though I was separated for 2 and a half years. I settled in Northwest Florida and have been here 30 years. I am now 51. I married again and have been with my husband, who hails from Texas and New Mexico for 25 years... 21 of them as man and wife. It took him 4 years to talk me into marriage. We are both ACOA's. Both of us became alcoholic... I went compuslive and he went blackout. I went into recovery for substance abuse... and am mostly sober. He put the drink down on his own (recovery by proximity) and has two long term sobrieties... 3 years each in the past 8 years. I was an abused child, he was neglected. It hasn't been easy to partner with each other, but at the core we understand that we are better together and that we love each other. I am the one with situational depression and PTSD.

I have no children... unexplained infertility... but compensated by working with them and teaching swim lessons.
I am a Jacqueline of all trades... and tend to get bored, or seek out the things I need to know to care for my self and my family. I have been in the service, in graphic design, a tech writer, a CPR/AED First Aid instructor, a Lifeguard and Lifeguard trainer, a lead carpenter, a certified nursing assistant, a Rehab aide, a water aerobics instructor, a title clerk at the county tax collector's office, a non degreed electrical and mechanical engineer and programmer for DOD electronics, and various other things... as the need arose.

My home is old and modest, but my vanity is my fish camp which is like a small private campground near a pristine river... where I like to fish and my husband hunts. I like to travel, but haven't been able since my husbands business went under. Never been out off the continent though except for our honeymoon in the Carribean.

When I'm at my best I split my time between agency care giving (I do the tough assignments and prefer them) and a not for profit... even though they don't really pay well. It does cause financial stress, but I'm a more calm and peaceful person if I feel like I'm giving something back in my community.

My Vital Absorbing Creative Interests are nutrition and whole food cooking and making jewelry with vintage crystal and semi precious stones... I have a particular affinity for mixing stone and pearl... because the pearl is the only semi precious stone that comes from a living thing... I got the idea from a Nikka Costa song. A line in the chorus goes "don't you be a pebble be a pearl". It reminds me not to be a hard cold stone, but to realize that something unique, living and beautiful can start of badly (like the grain of sand that starts the oyster making a pearl). Edited to add that I do not sell my jewelry. I give them as gifts or donate them for fund raisers. It is a safe expression of love and kindness for me to be able to do this for someone or a charity.

I love my animal companions and am surrounded by them they comfort and keep me calm. I learn from them how to love unconditionally and they give me a sense of peace and connectedness so that I don't overly rely on my spouse and put more demands on him for time and attention that he is able to give. 3 Dogs, 7 cats, and a beta at the moment... all of them strays, abandoned, and needing homes. We have a problem in our area... and I was a shelter volunteer. My husband and I adopted pets on the kill list... many years ago... and when one animals life is over... another appears. I haven't had less than 7 pets in over 20 years. I like to think that God gives us these simple souls to provide for because I have such a hard time connecting with people in real life. Hopefully one day I will become whole, healthy, and happy... thank you for reading along and I'm happy to share and be shared with here on the forum.

P.S. I've edited this thing a bit compuslively today... I think 5 times... sorry. I'll leave it alone and let it stand now.

 

[The Albatross]

OMG I was concentrating so hard I forgot how old I was and added a year. :whistling:

 

[freakofnurture]

OMG I was concentrating so hard I forgot how old I was and added a year. :whistling:

Hehe, I always have to think twice about my age, too. It takes me until shortly before my next birthday to memorise it. And then the number is obsolete again.

I am a person who doesn't care about birthdays. Doesn't care at all. I find it insulting to reserve a special kind of niceties and attention for a special day of the year. People should always be so nice with each other and feel the desire to give a loved one a little gift every now and then or bring some cake etc. I try to do this and it feels very good, not only for me but for my husband and my friends, too.

Also, I wish people would always be like they feel obliged to be around christmas. You can do it, really. It would make life so much easier for everybody. Just think about it. Less frustration because everybody is civil, less stress because everybody tries to appear patient and understanding, less fights because everybody tries not to dwell on narrow minded principles. I hate christmas with ever fiber of my being, but I could do with a full year of the social pressure that forces people to behave nicely around this date.

Also, people should be more like cats. If you ask me.

I'm obviously a cat person. I own a cat, too. Nay, I am a cat's little monkey slave. Still, people should be more like cats. It would create a balance of not-giving-a-sh*tness between all members of society, thus producing very much the same results as year-round christmas rules. Think it through. It's the truth. If you don't see it, you're not thinking hard enough. :D

 

[ana]

Love this thread and everyone's post in it. :) I work in twelve hours shifts and during slow ones like tonight I spend a lot of time on the net. It gives me a chance to meet people from all over the world. And to practice English, I love English, the language and everything else, except the weather. :D

I'm 48, from Croatia, a single mum of two almost grown ups who have become my only reason for life in the past two years. Since I've decided that I wouldn't do anything drastic (such as suicide) as long as they're with me I've been trying to find ways of making my life better, as many as I can. Was diagnosed with several disorders, attempted suicide three times as a teenager due to abusive parents, but that kind of childhood actually helped me later to deal with the war and losing my first baby.

On the outside I'm usually full of positive vibrations and ready to make jokes all day long. I love humour of any kind, that's my fave kind of medication. :) Also music, especially rock from the 60's and 70's. Recently I've discovered meditation and it helps me a lot. I also love dogs, and anything about the universe, especially Hubble pix and watching the night sky in nature.

I tend to hide my true feelings because of shame and fear. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I feel terribly lonely.
I don't trust meds any more, after years and decades of taking various kinds I've stopped all except the sleeping pills, but they'll go too, sooner or later. I don't recommend not taking the meds, it's just my personal choice and it may not be best for everyone.

 

[Jacquie]

So glad I stumbled across this looking for something else. I brought this up yesterday. "who' people are not what they do.

So who am I?
Brilliant at some things (analysis, research, figuring things out....oh and cooking, and swimming and used to be writing)
A screw up at other things (seeing the obvious, washing floors, getting out of tunnel vision when focussed, turning left or right)
Patient mostly, unless at the end of my tether with fools or fakes. Then not patient at all.
Animal magnet. They just know. And they all come to my house for some reason.
A thinker, a dreamer, a star gazer. I get lost out there and I love it. (hope I can again soon)
I used to get along with 'everyone' but now I choose who I let into my life
Timid at times but brave as a lion at others (sometimes shake like a mess afterwards tho)
I love the simple things in life
The great big impressive things dont do much for me at all
I think best at night when my environment is devoid of the intrusions of activities and vibrations of moving traffic even from miles away
But I am also an adventurer who loves to try new things
New experiences
Go new places
Always something new to learn or experience
The outside of me feels old
The inside of me right now is pretty hidden and damaged
But in my mind....*me* I'm still about 23 I think
I love to dance
Music is my heartbeat
Words the paint upon my canvas
I'm a story teller who somehow used to see details nobody else could see were there, and people would gather around just listening, and the story wove itself into a kind of magic for them. The grown ups too. They said they could 'see' what I was saying.
Now I cant even see the details, but the details is part of 'who' I am and I know its still in there somewhere.
I used to have a special relationship with the ocean in fact with any water. It was my 'breath'. And take me away from it for too long I somehow shrink, stop feeling alive. Actually kind of how I feel right now in a way.
I'm honest, and it gets me in trouble all the time....lol
I used to have a light that shone out of my eyes, and the light was me.
People often say I'm a romantic but I'm not meaning to be 'romantic'. I just like lighting a candle or 6 and enjoying the soft light.
I 'used to be' a good listener. But now I'm not. And I listen but I dont carry other people's stuff. And I never have expected other people carry mine.
Did I mention independent?
I prefer people I can be close with and comfortable with in preference over 3000 mere acquaintances.
Cant stand fakes and self interested ego inflated plastic people
I'm over 50 and still use an axe to chop my own wood (found out recently thats rare) and enjoy it
Prefer 'fire' over air con
Jumping in the water or sitting under a tree in a breeze to cool
Do not like TV (boring)
Proud
Stubborn as a mule
But can flex with the wind like a supple tree
I normally dont break
I'm still learning

 

[jo may]

hi i'm jo,

I live in Cornwall and call myself Cornish not English, I'm very proud I'm Cornish.

I have a hubby and 3 kids THEY ARE GREAT.
My oldest is from a different man than my hubby but she's amazing and my hubby loves her the same.

I'm a qualified landscape gardener but I hate gardening!
I'm also a qualified Carer but I hated that job as I got to close to the people I looked after.

I have worked as a bar tender and I loved it at the time.

I have also lived in Germany for 6 months as an Au Pair for someone in the RAF and that was great.

My hubby wants to move to Miami but I don't want to as I hate the sun and I couldn't bring myself to leave my beloved Cornwall.

I am a really daddy's girl and he is my hero and my parents are the reason I'm so proud to be Cornish and proud of who I am most of the time.